How do u stop an 14 month old from screaming and bitting and slapping me , and trowing things at me.

Kendelle - posted on 09/18/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I have an 14 month old son and everytime i tell him no when hes trowing things and bitting, he just sits there and laughs at me.. Please help i so could use it ...Thanks

19 Comments

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Brandy - posted on 09/24/2009

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Try time-outs. Make him sit and repeat calmly and firmly what he has done wrong. Make sure you are staying calm when you are upset with him for this because otherwise you are just teaching him that it is okay to act like that when you get upset. (not to say that that is what you do). I know it probably seems like he is just being a bad kid but it's because he is learning about the way you react to the different things he does and studying people's emotions and reactions to him, so make sure you also give praise and congradulate for things done well and the phase will pass sooner once he realizes that he likes the positive reactions better than the negative ones and that there are ways to get different reactions from you.

Jennifer - posted on 09/24/2009

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I agree with timeouts also. I know my eldest hit, but only mom and dad and eventually grew out of it. I think there is a bigger issue if they are doing those things to everyone.

Brittany - posted on 09/24/2009

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This is what I did with my daughter when she went through that phase. Everything she did to me, I did back to her... not enough to hurt her, but enough to let her know that it isn't fun. It took a few times before it actually sank in though.

Jeannette - posted on 09/22/2009

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Try putting him on time out. Place a mat in the corner some where and put him on a timer. it worked for me. You're going to feel like taking him out at first cause you feel bad but don't give in. You must be persistent. If you feel bad keep your self occupied with things around the house like laundry or dishes for example. If you don't discipline your children you're doing harm to them by not showing him or her right from wrong. And when they are small is the perfect time to start. Good luck...Janet mom of six :)

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I don't think a 14-month-old is testing as much as frustrated. My 12-month-old has quite a temper. He doesn't bite unless teething, but I would never bite him back. I don't think biting to teach not to bite is a lesson I'll be teaching my child. Same with hitting to teach not to hit.

My son doesn't like "no" either. He will clear his high chair tray and start dropping things on the floor when he I won't give him something he really wants, but it isn't appropriate for him to have (like my coffee cup). If I can't get him re-focused or distracted, we end the activity and go on to something else. Sorry if this sounds a bit woo-woo, but I also validate that he's frustrated and explain why he can't have whatever it is he wants. I know he doesn't understand it, but he will. He has a deafening scream too and it takes everything I have to just remain calm and forge ahead.

I just don't think babies who are new toddlers can remember lessons and you have to teach and say over and over and over and over. It takes time and patience and for me, a good sense of humor.

Good luck.

Treva - posted on 09/22/2009

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He's testing you. My 3 yr old has done the same thing in the past. Not the biting though. He's trying to see if you're going to give in.He's testing your authority. Spank him. Its not abuse. Abuse is leaving a bruise or cussing at him. Dont do that. Just smack him on the leg or even his bare bottom. There is plenty of cushion in their little butts. It might be red for a couple minutes but that is normal. It does not teach them to hit or violence. That is a crock. What doesnt work is nagging them. Warn him once then follow through. If you dont he will laugh at you and he will get worse. Trust me I went through that. The biting thing. You know kids cant feel that biting hurts because there is no feeling in your teeth. So gently bite him back just enough to show him that it hurts. I have a friend and her daughter used to bite. Anyways I hope this helps. God Bless!

Mandie - posted on 09/22/2009

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he is over a yr old so I think its a good time to introduce time outs. Sit him in a chair either in the corner or away from social activity such as other children or T.V. etc...

IF that doesn't work then I would suggest slapping his hand when it happens and telling him that what he did was bad and he shouldn't do that. I know a lot of people rebel and dislike slapping but I'm not telling you to knock him out I'm simply saying a light swat to his hand would let him know that what he did is NOT acceptable and you won't have it. Let him know that YOU are the boss and just cause he is throwing a tantrum that doesn't mean you will give in to what he wants. I did this with all 3 of my daughters and after about 4 swats to the hand they stopped. IF he is laughing about it then you really need to nip this in the bud! Nobody wants to discipline their children but when it calls for it you really need to act on it because if not corrected soon it will only get worse. My niece is a spoiled brat(I know its awful to say) but she does the same exact stuff with the exception of cussing and whatnot at my brother and his wife and this little girl is 8 yrs old,never been discplined and STILL to this day is not corrected. If you let them think it is ok to do by doing nothing at all then it will continue and worsen and get WAY harder to break them of it. Best of luck =)

Tara - posted on 09/22/2009

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My daughter is 18 months now and will have quite the temper tantrums at home, nothing really when we are out, so I know it's more testing boundaries at home. She did (and sometimes still does) throw things, hit, kick, bite, head butt, etc. What worked (and seems to be still working) with us is gently stopping her (hold her hand/leg when hitting, pushing her head away if she headbutts/bites) and telling her "we don't do that behavior (hit/kick/headbutt/bite)". We also tell her it is okay if she is angry with being told "no", but she cannot behave like that, and she either has to sit in the "naughty corner" or sit quietly apart from us until she calms down. We've told her if she's really angry she may smack the couch or the tabletop, but she may not do that type of thing to people. Sometimes the only thing that works is just telling her "I know you're angry with mama/daddy for telling you NO, but you are still not allowed to do that. When you are done being angry, you may come sit with us/play again, until then, you may sit quietly by yourself" - then we walk away (still where we can see her/she can see us) and ignore her - she generally stops the tantrum/behavior in 2-3 minutes max once she realizes she is not going to get the reaction she wants. As she gets older we will start explaining empathy and things like that, but for now, simple works best for us.

Lauren - posted on 09/22/2009

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To start off with encouragement, if he is just showing you and close family his frustration by hiting etc, that means he trusts you enough to share those feelings with you. As far as discipline goes, whatever method you decide, be consistent. My son has terrible temper tantrums, and I have found ignoring him works best.

Amie - posted on 09/18/2009

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My son who is now 2 does the same things but he has been doing it less & less as time goes by. I usually put him on time out & I let him know who's the boss. Time out is usually a minute or 2 ( according to age) or until he calms down. You have to be consistent in disciplining him & be stern especially since he's hitting you. Let him know that it's not OK! Better to nip it in the bud early on. I give him lots of love & kisses & encouragement so that when he is being punished he knows that it's out of love. Usually after he calms down & changes we give each other a big hug & I let him know I love him very much, that he's a good boy but it's bad to hit, bite or throw things or whatever it is you're punishing him for. With love comes discipline. Don't be afraid that he won't love you because if you love him & you show him, children reciprocate. Hope this helps.

Rosanna - posted on 09/18/2009

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But the best thing that works for me is my husband. When dad makes it clear it is not okay to hurt mommy then they seem to listen. Dad is just more gruff than mom. I have 4 children and it has worked every time. As they have gotten older we tell them the same kind of thing about each other. Dad doesn't hit me, I don't hit him - they shouldn't hit each other. So far so good. Time out from all activities also works.

Elke - posted on 09/18/2009

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Salut, you are all such good moms! Here is another discussion going on about "biting" which really makes me feel shocked a bit and it´s so good to read your comments! Sorry, for my english :-)

Ellie - posted on 09/18/2009

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i found the naught step worked! my son was biting me and his twin so i told him no and biting was not allowed.then held him on the naughty step for one min with out looking at him and after i told him it was naughty to bite and gave him a big hug!!!! he has stopped biting!xx

Sophia - posted on 09/18/2009

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The only thing that worked for my son was time-outs. As soon as he hit or threw something i would put him in a timeout in his room (for a minute or two) and sometimes had to shut the door so he wouldnt run out, and not too long after he quit doing it. I dont recomend spanking or slapping his hand as punishment since what youre trying to teach is not to hit. just stick to it everytime and pretty soon he should stop. Hope it helps!

Jamie - posted on 09/18/2009

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i seen the othernight,that there were ppl that walked away from their kids,as soon as they were acting up.didn't say anything to the child,or touch them,just walked away.when the kids stopped or came to them calmly,then they gave the child attention.this really seemed to work.i'm working towards that now.i have popped mine on the bottom,it only makes it worse.i refuse to have my kids scared of me,so this is what i'm going to try.from what i seen,it was working great.as soon as your child does something good,let them know in your adult voice,not the high pitched sound.i have walked away from my kids in the past,and it has helped a lot.if i could just keep that in mind.when i my daughter is real awful.i take one toy,and try not to give it back.i threw away a pair of her favorite shoes one day when we were out being she kept kicking them off. she never did that again.follow through w/ what you say,will help a lot too.

Renee - posted on 09/18/2009

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I wish someone had replied!! I need to know the same thing!! And my son is not even a year old yet!!

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