HOW DO YOU CLAIM A CHILD THAT HAS PASSED AWAY

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Heather - posted on 08/18/2009

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I have not personally suffered this loss however my sister and her husband lost my nephew earlier this year and as a family all we can do is support them. They made the decision that speaking and remembering Justus all they can is the only thing they can do to keep him close and near to them now that he is gone. So find what works for you and ur partner and don't be afraid to let people know if it is okay to talk about ur child, being that most people don't know what to say or not to say. Good Luck and you are in my prayers.

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Chris - posted on 08/21/2009

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I lost a child throught misscarriage 10 years ago. The pain never goes away, and I still think of him often. It does make me cherish the children I have now. Especially the son I had after I lost the baby. I always say he saved my life, my miracle baby!

Christy - posted on 08/19/2009

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My heart aches for you. The loss of a child is the worst pain ever....as I know from a miscarriage in which some people want to dismiss that if you were not that far along then they were not a real person.As a mom you know that they are and whether anyone else ever acknowledges your child or not, you claim your child in the way that your heart wants to and in the way you would claim a living child. Just because a life is cut short does not mean they did not leave an everlasting presence in your life and the lives of others. Most people's biggest fear in life is to be forgotten so if it were me I would say my child's name when referencing them to someone. Include them in family trees,etc. etc. Just be sure to convey to whoever you speak with about your child that they understand that the child has passed on so that they do not feel badly for misunderstanding. I also would recognize birthdays, or a due date for preterm infants or miscarriages if you feel you can handle it, in which not everyone can so you have to do what works for your needs and the needs of your families. You may have to try different things and you will know whether it feels right to you or not. Everyone grieves and remembers and celebrates life differently so don't let others intimidate you that certain practices and or behavior is normal or unnormal. There may be a consensus but even still... everyone is different. I myself found great comfort and peace through God and still do. It comforts and encourages me to know that I will one day hold my little one in heaven.

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Very sorry for your loss. I think I know what you may be asking. When telling people, I would just say, "My son (or daughter) who passed."

Colleen - posted on 08/17/2009

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I agree with you. You have to remember that what you had and do have now is so precious. Cherish what you had and have!!!!!

Tina - posted on 08/17/2009

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You remember. You don't have to claim as they will forever be yours. Acknowledge, embrace, go on, remember.

Colleen - posted on 08/16/2009

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It all depends on what you mean by claim them. Let me know what you mean and I might beable to find out some info. for you.

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