How do you deal with a relative that does not like your child?

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Shannon - posted on 10/01/2009

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Honestly, your immediate family....husband and kids....comes first now. If a family member cannot handle their own emotions and is not able to understand and cope with a mere child, then I would say he or she has serious issues. I would not permit that person in my home.

Leslie - posted on 10/01/2009

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I tell my relative how it is. they can accept my child or stay away. raise your own children your way and I will raise mine.

Sara - posted on 09/30/2009

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Did I miss somewhere that you explained the situation better? "doesn't like my child" just doesn't explain what the problem is. Are they just not a "kid" person? Have they ever harmed your child? What makes you think they don't like your child? And how young are we talking about? Of course, it's better to be safe than sorry, but it seems that a lot of moms on here have jumped to the conclusion that your child is not safe near this relative.

I actually have some relatives that I don't personally like (don't tell anyone :-) but I would certainly never put them or a child in danger just because they aren't my favorite person...

And I'm NOT saying this about your situation since I don't really understand it, but I think it's not a huge deal to not like a kid. We don't like all adults we know, why should it be different with a child?

Jennifer - posted on 09/28/2009

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tell them to piss off and that they dont need to voice that sort of opinion to the mother of that child.... how rude..!!!

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Tiffanee - posted on 10/02/2009

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My sister in law does not like my daughter because "she is not used to someone getting as much praise" as her daughter. She is very jelouse of my 3 year old and has been since she was about a year old. We see them a lot because they live here. I've had to distance myself from their family. I don't let her be alone with my daughter either. She never really does anything but tattle on my daughter if I'm around. If she was mean in front of me I would say something polite at first like "could you please not be so harsh to her" or if it was continued I would have to sit down and be blunt. If none of that works unfortunately I would have to cut off all contact.

Robin - posted on 10/01/2009

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Don't put your child in that situation, because it could hurt his or her self-esteem later!!!

[deleted account]

First of all this is your child if a relative doesnt like this child then they know where the door is,this is a child not a adult either except them or stay away thats all i can say this is your blood and will always look up to you who cares what the relative thinks they dont have to live with you but this child does

Arwen - posted on 10/01/2009

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I grew up with a little brother that had ADHD, so I'm familiar with family that didn't like to being around him. My mom would just not bring my brother around. I know it sounds awful, but when the meds weren't working, and an overactive kid has a tendency to break things or run around crazy, there wasn't really a choice. Does your child have any behavioral issues like this, or is there really no reason for the dislike?

Vickianne - posted on 09/30/2009

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My own mother doesnt want anything to do with my son, He has ADHD. and ODD, The worse thing he ever did to her was want her love. She made him feel like he wasnt good enough for her one time. She has never seen him again. You have every right to let people into your kids life that will help nurture them. In the same way you have a obligation to your child to keep all evil influences away..

Shayna - posted on 09/30/2009

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How old is the relative? I find it rather ridiculous that a old enough person with common sense would hate a child!? I would simply tell them (if there old enough) that they don't need to like your child, but they certainly need to act their age and get over it, because at the end of the day their FAMILY!! I certainly would try to avoid them being in contact with each other as much as possible and when they do have to be around each other not leave them alone!!

Sarit - posted on 09/30/2009

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Try and talk to this relative, and if this doesn't work, avoid their meetings. I have a grandpa who does not behave nicely to my of my children, so I explained to my child that this grandpa is wrong, and he shouldn't pay attention to him. But if he goes on, I stop the conversation and does not let him mis-treat my child....

Abigale - posted on 09/30/2009

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Stay away from them I have the same problem. I don't know what it is about my son but my sisterinlaw does not like him. So as he was growing up we just stayed away from them and didn't do thing with them. It didn't break my heart any though.

Jenny - posted on 09/30/2009

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Thank you all for your advice. A lot of it is what I have been telling myself for quite a while. And some of it was things I can actually do to know I have done all I can for their relationship, if there is to be one. Thank you all.

Karen - posted on 09/30/2009

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The way i look at it is... Your child is part of you, and if your relative doesnt like your child then they dont like you, nor do they deserve to have you! I would tell them where to go! I definitely wouldnt have anything to do with them!

Jenny - posted on 09/30/2009

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actually, I did not want to explain much because i don't want to make this a mom beating. I have done the talking with her. I have asked 'why' for myself as well as my children with no response. I can honestly say that about once a month she tries not to be negative with him, and I cherish those moments between her and my kids. I just don't want to be the one to stop a relationship between them, just because I want to prevent any further emotional abuse. I am not sure where that fine line is, and I am sure when I find out, it will change.

Jenny - posted on 09/30/2009

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Well, MY son is the first grandchild, but he is a boy, and he is mine, so that theory does not actually work in my family. I find it is true for the most part though! lol

Jenny - posted on 09/30/2009

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It is my mother actually, and I think it is just toward MY kids at this point. Maybe it is just boys vs girls. I was told that she doesn't like kids over the age of two, but I am pretty sure she was brushing him off about the age of 1. I can't say we get along great either, but she is my mom, and I don't stop trying. I tollerate it for myself, but have a had time swallowing it for my kids.

Arifah A - posted on 09/30/2009

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If this relative is an adult then they need a good Cussin` beacuse whatever reason they might have to not like your child is probably stupid!

Louise - posted on 09/30/2009

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Keep your child away from them, i find that it's usually jealousy that brings these problems. Don't trust them near your little one.

Nicole - posted on 09/29/2009

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You tell your relative that they need to get over it...or keep the child away from them, they don't deserve it

Tiffany - posted on 09/29/2009

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Wow, so sorry to hear about this. I can't imagine that. I would be scared to leave my child in the presence of this person. Is this immediate family? Someone you have dealings with a lot or just at family functions? It would be easy to avoid them if you only run into them at special events. Sounds like they have some major issues they need to deal with and there is no reason to take it out on your kid. I wish you the best in this one. Does anyone else in the family see this???

Sherry - posted on 09/29/2009

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No offense...but I would keep that relative AWAY from my child by all means necessary!! Why would u want to risk that person harming ur child mentally or physically? The risk is so NOT worth it. I wouldn't care if it was gma or a cousin, if u are expressing dislike towards my child...you're just not going to be a part of my child's life! Goodluck! Do whats best for you & yours & don't worry about the rest! :D

Jennifer - posted on 09/28/2009

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From personal experience, the child does notice and I wouldn't let the relative get away with it. I have always said and have noticed that especially grandmothers to their first grandchild will like that one better....ALWAYS! I would nip it in the bud.

Lupita - posted on 09/28/2009

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well! first i dont let no one hurt my child,,,, and try not to get involve in them going to ther houses.. and no visit them it all

Karen - posted on 09/28/2009

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My brother and I were both adopted and there was an aunt in the "family" who would reference the fact that we weren't part of the family seeing as how we weren't blood. My parents took the high road and we still went to all the family functions, etc treated her the same as the rest of the family. When I became a teenager and started to hear things for myself I wanted to confront her about her feelings but was forbidden. To this day, I never understood why I had to think of someone who thought so little of me as family. My theory is "Who says you can't choose your family?" Just because they are family it doesn't mean that you have to let them intimidate you or disrespect you, I believe your expectations and standards for family should be higher than those of strangers. Personally I'm not afraid of confrontations so I would ask them to address their concerns or issues directly to you and base your decision/reaction on the facts they provide you with. My concern is how your child might feel towards you and how this situation was handled by you on their behalf, because somehow they will hear about it.

Joanne - posted on 09/28/2009

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talking to them wouldnt help. i wouldnt allow the person even near my kid or grandkids because id be afraid they would take out thier frustration or dislike on the child. children are smart little beings and believe me, they can sense exactly who like s them and who doesnt

Joanne - posted on 09/28/2009

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simple! you dont visit them and you tell them to stay the h*ll away from them and you.

Amber - posted on 09/28/2009

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If someone doesn't like my child, they don't like me. I don't care how close a relative they are, your kids come first. I'd talk to them about the situation and If they wanna continue to act like that then I'd stay clear of them,you don't want your child around that kind of person anyway.

Cristina - posted on 09/28/2009

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It's simple avoid them, a person who does not like your kid is not a person worth having around, relative or not.

Ashley - posted on 09/28/2009

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how could somebody not like a kid??? if u HAVE to see the relative a lot id talk to them about it. but if its only once and awhile id say screw u!!! really what could a kid do to somebody thats soo bad for them not to like them?

Krista - posted on 09/28/2009

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How despicable. I'd not have my child around that individual. Family is a relative term.

Danielle - posted on 09/28/2009

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It depends, how close of a relative is it? If it was a close relative I would try to sit down with them and talk.

Jenny - posted on 09/28/2009

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I have gotten close to that, but I usually come to my senses and take me and my son away from the situation. Now I just don't let them in the room together! lol.

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