How do you deal with an 11yr old step-daughter who steals my things,lies about it and is continually disrespectful? HELP!


Erica - posted on 11/02/2012




Talk to your local police department about bringing her down there and having them talk to her about all the people they arrest and how most of them start out as young kids lying to and stealing from their parents. I'm sure she's not a bad kid, but when things start to go in that direction its my opinion that the best way to handle it is to scare them with a little dose of reality. She needs to understand that stealing from her step mother is just as illegal as stealing from a stranger. Also if you live somewhat near a jail I'd take her on a trip there too. The jailers are very use to this kind of thing and are usually more than happy to help you out. Most people don't agree with "scare tactics", but believe me you want to stop this before it gets to the next level. I grew up with a sibling that started out the exact way. My brother was a great kid, but around 10-12 he started lying a lot and my parents caught him stealing once or twice and the older he got the more his problems escalated. He started hanging out with all the wrong people and the lies just got bigger and bigger and he and my parents were always fighting because of it. When he was about 15 he was arrested for stealing and my mother wanted to send him to some sort of military school, but my dad thought it was too drastic and said no. By the time my brother graduated high school (barely since his grades dropped so low) he had been in jail 1/2 a dozen times for various offenses. By the time my dad admitted my brothers problems were bad enough for more drastic action it was too late because he was already legally considered an adult and my parents couldn't do anything. My mom says she will always regret not taking action the very first time they caught him lying and stealing from them.

Hope this helps and good luck!!


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Melissa - posted on 11/02/2012




I have the same problems with my 14 year old step son. Me and my husband have not found anything that works. We finally ended up sending him to his moms, he hadn't seen her in 9 years, but it had just got to the point we didn't know what else to do. He is however coming back in a month, he's been gone for 5 now, and honestly I'm really nervous about. I hope you can find something that helps. Counselling might be a good thing to look into if you can afford it, money is the only reason we haven't tried it.... :-(

Angela - posted on 11/02/2012




maybe shes rebelling cos shes jelous?? does she get time for her and dad alone?? maybe dad could take her out instead of coming to yours?? i think if u get police to scare her ur dealing with the symptoms and not the problem.... id step away from the situation slightly.... let him build a relationship where shes not seeing you as a threat and chills a bit. hes the dad let him deal with her. think sometimes kids listen to adult conversations and pick sides... is she angry he left?? is her mum bitter?? is she not happy at mums?? is something goin on at home and shes got noone to talk to?? maybe shes being bullied.... it may be something, everything or nothing...

good luck x

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