How do you deal with difficult family members ?

Kylie - posted on 05/03/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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just needed to know some advice on how to handle difficult family members?I have a family member who has made me feel very angry, my husband is also on my side 100% but we dont want to offend or hurt this person.They feel like they have been wronged over something that could have been stopped by a simple conversation and talking it out but they just went straight into wanting violence( which neither of us approve of).which has made the entire situation worse..i have done nothing wrong in this matter and i have been accused of things and had mean and nasty things posted about me on facebook that has upset my friends and family. what do i do i don't feel they are seeing that they are in the wrong and need some help???this person is the type who will go behind your back and talk to all of our friends and bad mouth us and it will eventually take its toll ??

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Melissa - posted on 05/03/2010

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I agree with Sara. I have tried doing this with some of my family members but unfortunately they just want to turn words around and make everything I said sound bad. So I haven't talked to them in four years. They unfortunately have never met my children and probably never will unless they start acting more mature. Sometimes the best thing to do for you and your kids is to get away from the situation. Good Luck!

Kristin - posted on 05/03/2010

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If your husband is backing you on this, I think you are safe to just get it all out there. If it ends the relationship it ends it. Your children are better off not having this toxic person in their life.



As for any future ickiness from this woman/couple(?), keep it all on them. Do not talk about them to anyone in a fashion that would be deemed unkind, mean spirited, petty, or spiteful. Be civil at all times when speaking of or to them. Your friends and family will come to see them as they are instead of how they are painting themselves. Be honest with your friends and family about everything. Actions speak so much louder than words. Some will stand with you and others will fall to the side, but at least then you know who you can really trust.



If you wouldn't tolerate this kind of treatment from a stranger or an acquaintance, why would you let family treat you this way? I actually really do understand how you feel here as I've got a similar situation in my own family. I'm so sorry that this is happening.

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Kylie - posted on 05/04/2010

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thankyou so much ladies and trust me i will be taking your advce thanks so much again for the help.

Samantha - posted on 05/04/2010

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Hi Kylie, I really wouldnt be worried by it i recently had this problem and havent spoken to several family members since september 09, as long as you know that your not to blame and you didnt do anything who cares what there saying about you people talk behind peoples backs all the time its a fact it will bug you because you know there doing it however dont rise to it and just get on with your everyday life, some people are born stupid and have to resort to violence adults prefer to talk xx

Arminda - posted on 05/04/2010

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unfortunately , were on the same boat!? what do i do? i just don't talk to them!... but when they talk to me, i talk to them even i dont feel talking to them... so hard,...but as of now,i just stay home and go on facebook and circle of moms.., where i find my happiness and true friends!...

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Never let anyone steal your joy!! No matter who it is! Lots of familys go through things just like this, mine included. I just remove myself from them and keep living my life. I down talk them to anyone. I just hold my head high and know that im right and the mess theyre talking will come to light soon enough. Good luck with whatever you choose!

Kylie - posted on 05/03/2010

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my husband and i went around there and tried to sort some things out only to be bombarrded with all these assumptions they had been making.But at the same time they arent people who we would like to cut from our lives as they are the kids family and my partner has already lost alot of his family.I feel in the middle as the actual fight started beccause of a stupid comment that had nothing to do with us and that was from my sister and now the other person has blown it way out of proportion and turned into this big conspiracy theory..i also dont like the fact she has gone through my friends lists and gotten all my family and friends and posted nasty untrue things so everyone can see them..fair enough she might of had a small point to start with but now shes is just being ridiculous..i feel like what ever i say at home will be taken the wrong way and whatever i say to her will end a relationship because my husband fully backs me and knows i have nothing wrong and doesnt like the fact she calls me a liar

Sara - posted on 05/03/2010

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Your best bet is to try and sit down and talk to them and reason out the situation if that dont work stop talking to them all together

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