how do you deal with infidelity?

Gabriela - posted on 04/07/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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it was an affair that he had during my second pregnancy. he told me about it two yrs later. i can't seem to "get over it". i just don't know what to do or think? how long is normal to be upset and hurt?

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When I was younger I always said that if someone cheated on me, I would leave them. Then my ex-husband cheated and I stayed and tried to work it out. He obviously wasn't willing to leave her so I left him. Had major trust issues with other relationships. (took it out on the wrong people). I am in a 8yr relationship now. He knew about my trust issues. Yet once I decided to put 100% trust in him, he cheated on me. We are still together, but it was and is a long process. I hate not trusting him always, but hate the idea that he may cheat again. I can't base our future on the past. It takes alot of work to recon with my own heart. Keep moving forward and do what is in your heart.

Kristian - posted on 04/07/2010

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alli can tell u is pray ad god will lead u and fix ur marrage if that is what u want and god can take away your pain i hope this helps

Theresa - posted on 04/07/2010

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You never get fully over it. Even when you think you've put it all behind you something will pop up years later that will remind you. Do you feel he is truely sorry he did it? Do you feel he's told you everything and is being completely honest? He has to be completely open with you for the two of you to get through this. Counseling can help also. Not that you should try to make him feel guilty, but he screwed up. He should be completely supportive of any feelings you may have. If you ask him out of the blue if he really loves you he should be able to answer you and never sound like he's annoyed with your insecurities. He should understand that HE'S the one who caused your insecurities and that he needs to reassure you. If he's not willing to do all those things, or he tries to blame you, then maybe you should take a hard look at the relationship and decide if you want to work to save it even if he's not willing to put in 100%. I think you also need to look at yourself. Whenever there is a problem in a relationship both people share the responsibility and have some issues to work on. Not that anything you may have done gave him the right to cheat! But if he's willing to put in 100% to make the relationship work, then you should look at yourself to see what changes you could make to make your relationship stronger and better. Good luck. A relationship is something that BOTH people have to work on CONTINUALLY, EVERYDAY.

Rebecca - posted on 04/07/2010

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Make him pay for the rest of his life with house duties & scrubbing the toilet & feet massages every night ! On a serious note, You live 1 life, there is no rehearsal ! Make sure whatever you do it is in your best interest, not for him or the family... If you can handle staying with him & he can make it right for you then you will let go at some point, otherwise ditch him & move on with a happy life.

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Tombeal2012 - posted on 05/23/2018

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My relationship was in a mess a few weeks back, I kept on complaining and was steady worried if my husband was cheating on me. till my sister referred me to this hacker femalehackerz1 AT gmail who had helped a friend of hers spy on her cheating fiancées phone of every information available including deleted ones and also photos. I contacted him and he was very helpful and quick to deliver. although I finally found out he wasn't cheating lol..but it was worth it. contact her if you also need help;

Jane - posted on 04/07/2010

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You will probably never really get over it!! I mean you obviously are trying to, but it will always be in the back of your mind, and you will always wonder, and may have trust issues. There is no time frame to be upset or hurt!! What your partner did was wrong and especially during your pregnancy, when you needed him the most and were at your most vulnerable. If you can get through this, then that's great, but it will take time and a lot of forgiveness on your part!! Best of luck hun x x

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