How do you feel about disciplining other people kids or someone else discplining your child?

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

My b/f's brother is always telling me to spank and get onto his sons if they are doing something wrong. I personally feel that it is the parents job to discipline the kids. Grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc shouldn't do so unless the parent is not around(ie outside, in bathroom, etc..) unless the child is doing something dangerous to himself or another child. I think that if they are sitting right there in the same room it is their place to discipline even if I am the closest one to the child. They disagree...and I can really see this being a problem when my daughter is old enough to be disciplined....I have told them how I feel about it but it keeps coming up. Another thing they do sometimes is that 4 or 5 adults will be yelling at the kids at the same time....I've made a comment on this before as well because I think it is stupid and confusing.....the poor 2 and 4 year olds don't need that many people getting onto them especially when their father is right there and trying to discipline them and everyone else has to jump in and tell them "do you want nana/papa/uncle to get you"(when they say that they are saying do you want me to come spank you).....I find it very frustrating. I've left that place with a killer headache a few times. How does everyone else feel about this? Am I wrong to feel this way? How do I get them to understand the way I feel when they just won't listen to what I have to say?

6 Comments

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Louise - posted on 01/31/2010

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peoploe have to respect you and your wishes when it comes to your child. with me if im not there then i expect an adult to discipline my children ie when the boys are playing with the neighbours children in our street and i have gone in for the toilet if my child does wrong i expect the other adults there to tell him so as its to late for me to do somthing about it when i get back. i believe if there in your house or under your supervision then they go by your rules and if the parent dont like it then they dont come back my children have had friends round to our home to play and they do somthing that is ok at there home but not at mine then i will tell them that i dont allow that in my home. however i do agree that if a childs mum/dad is dealing with a child then every one else should butt out unless asked to help by that person. all you can do is sit down and talk to them explain how you feel and tell them that your not happy with the situation if they still persist in interfering with how you are bringing up your child. then dont go back for a while they will soon get the message. good luck being a parent is not easy everyone is differant and we all have our own ideas as to how it should be done and you will always come across people who will try and undermind you you just have to keep telling your self that you are the parent of your child and its up to you how you bring them up.

Alyssa - posted on 01/31/2010

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I wouldn't disipline someone else's child unless the parent weren't there or I were watching them. It is the parents job to disipline their child. However if the parent is asking people to help them keep their child in line then that's a different story. With disiplining anyone else's child you can always run into the chance you will be accused of child abuse. So I think it's up to the parent and the person trying to disipline the child. I personally wouldn't.

Andrea - posted on 01/30/2010

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this sounds like my boyfriends family his mother is always yelling at our son and his brothers two boys when were standing right there and its like she does it before we even have a chance to say something...i mean our sons 8 months old and his nephews are only 1 and 3 they dont really know what theyre doing...its very annoying weve all said something but it doesnt do anything...and it is frustrating because you just wanna yell its my son not yours...and i think weve all left places like that with headaches and its annoying

[deleted account]

I do tell them no given the situation but I have flat out told the parents that I will not "pop" their kids....these children are like my own nephews and I still am not comfortable with it.......that's just NOT how it is done in my family!

Tcordukes - posted on 01/30/2010

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i have said to my friends that if they see my children doing something that is not acceptiable then they are more then welcome to tell my child no..... i diffently don't wat them to smack my child but i think that my children need to know that if they do something wrong they will get punished i think it teaches them that they also need to listen to other adults the mumand dad trust...

Shamarra - posted on 01/30/2010

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I wouldn't discipline another child unless I was looking after them. I do tell children off though when their parents are in the room. Normally when the child doesn't listen & it's mostly when my child is doing the same.

If I were in your position & would stop going around, or stop inviting them around, especially if it is affecting your daughter.

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