how do you get a 7 year go to bed and to listen all ,the time

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Sally - posted on 04/23/2010

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Our 2 girls 5-7 we put to bed everynight at 8p.m. we take them to their rooms. Give hugs and kisses a quick rub of the back tell them we love them and then Goodnight we leave and they go to sleep. So I believe that those who said routine is right now. Now the listening thing let me know when you find the answer to that one. I often say did you get that or did you shut that off answer "Oh I didn't hear you" They heard just didn't care to listen....

Laurie - posted on 04/23/2010

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I didn't address the bedtime issue. A seven year old is quick to be trained because they are SMART cookies They are old enough to understand choices that are profitable or unprofitable and to weigh them out.
One of the first things I tried to teach my children from birth was that a bed was for sleeping. I didn't use it for punishment, it was not a place to read books or eat. It was for sleeping. Routine, diet and consistency are another key here. Stop the eating and drinking at least two hours before bed. Make sure that strenuous activity stops at least 2 hours before bed as well. Running around, rough housing, etc. just boosts the adrenalin and makes it very difficult for them to settle down.
A consistent bedtime with a bedtime routine is essential. We always told them one hour before bed time to get ready. This meant a needed bath/shower, brushing of teeth, putting away toys, clothes, etc, getting a small drink, taking care of any slivers, (cuts or other "boo boos" of the day that tend to only be noticed by your child at bedtime and going to the bathrom. Take care of anything that would give your child an excuse to get back out of bed. I take time to "put" my child in bed with a hug, a kiss and prayers at the time they are to be in bed. As I shut off the light, I reminded them, "You have everything you need, now it is time to sleep." Until they were trained and stayed in bed, it was not unusual for me to put a chair right by the door and keep vigil to be sure they stayed in bed, lay quiet and allowed their body to go to sleep. It was a good time to read a book I enjoyed, pray, crochet or whatever. I also timed the amount of time they delayed the going to sleep. I would give them 15 minutes. After that, I would tell them for every minute they delayed, I would take their bedtime that much earlier the next evening. It didn't take but a few days for them to understand and realize that bed was for sleeping and to just get to it! Children learn quickly-your seven year old will be going to bed and stayng in bed before you know it! Blessings on your retraining! Your consistency will be rewarded!

Laura - posted on 04/23/2010

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I agree, play hard, bedtime routine, persistance. Also my son likes to listen to music at night, so i'll put a favorite cd on repeat and he falls to sleep with it on. I'll turn it off when I know he is good and asleep. Or you could just leave it playing all night if you think he might wake up in the middle of the night. I tell him if he gets up then no music. This has worked for me.

Laurie - posted on 04/23/2010

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The challenge here is consistency. Children are natural born gamblers. If there is a .000000005 % chance that you won't follow up on making sure they obey, they will take the chance.
One thing I found helpful (I have 8 'chldren' 10-29) is to try to speak to them face to face and have them repeat back what I said and what it means. This way they can' say they didn't hear me or didn't undersand what I was asking. An army commander once said, 'Don't expect what you are not willing to inspect." Take time, every time, to follow up and make sure they listened and carried out your request.
If it was not done and the consequences are unpleasant enough, the child will learn it is easier to listen and obey, than to not listen and have to experience the consequence.
Example: dropping dirty clothing on the floor rather than in the hamper. To me, it is obvious, this child needs more "practice"! So, it is now necessary for the child to pick up the dirty socks, carry them to the hamper and put them in. Then pull them out of the hamper and drop them back on the floor where they were. I begin with about 10 repetitions of this 'practice' and then double the repetitions each time they blow it again. It doesn't take too long before they decide it is much easier to just listen and obey, than to ignore and lose valuable time practicing.

Brennis - posted on 04/23/2010

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Try getting the child to play HARD, a couple of hours before bed. Something that uses a lot of their energy. Like soccer, running, playing with the dog if you got one. Then make sure the tv is not on, as this stimulates the brain.

Hope that helps.

Kristina - posted on 04/22/2010

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Making them go to bed is mainly just persistance. Have a set bedtime routine every night and just keep putting them back in bed when they get out. As for listening all the time, if you can figure it out let me know! LOL, I have an 11, 8, and 6 year old and if they listen half the time I tell them to do something I feel like I have won.

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