How do you get everything done?

Lexi - posted on 06/28/2010 ( 224 moms have responded )

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What is your routine for the day? Any tips for getting stuff done with a 1 year old running around? He's too big for a sling now and our only back pack is a big bulky camping one and my back is just not up to it.

I have never been the greatest housekeeper and am having an especially hard time now that I have my son and am staying home. When DH and I were kidless we both worked full time and split household stuff 50/50. It was always agreed that once we had a kid whoever stayed home with it would take on most of the household stuff as well. Boy it's harder than I thought tho!!

My husband doesn't put pressure on me but I know he's getting fed up with it and I feel a lot of pressure from myself to do a better job. We never have any clean dishes and the laundry is constantly a huge pile. I barely manage to keep to floors clean and vaccumed. I got on anti depressants for PPD and anxiety last week and there is already a huge improvement in what I am able to manage but I still need some ideas for how to make it all run smootly.

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Marcie - posted on 07/10/2010

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I have to agree with previous posters... go to WWW.FLYLADY.NET it will change your life for the best! It has completely changed my life and now I can hardly remember how I lived before flylady. I have a nine month old son and it works wonderfully for us... seriously, give it a try. Good luck with everything! :)
*you cant be successful until you try*

Jenni - posted on 07/10/2010

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After my second baby I suffered PPD too so to help me cope and focus I made a simpe list. At the top was the everyday stuff, dishes, laundry, sweeping and generally tiding up etc, then I sectioned everything else off. Eg Monday Wed and Fri was vacuuming and mopping, Tuesday; dusting. So on and soo forth. I felt if I could accomplish just that day's tasks I was doing well. The days I had to go out a lot or shop I just made sure the basics were done, like the dishes and the washing. If someone offers to help; accept it graciously. If their genuine they will be glad to help, if their just showing off, they won't do it again.

Heidi - posted on 07/10/2010

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I believe it is true what many have responded: Your first priority should be as a mom, the house is not really that important. That said, I find it hard to stay calm and content when my surroundings are dirty and cluttered. I need a serene living space to stay serene myself. I am not the type of person to take hired help, but since I became a mom I have had a cleaning lady come once a week to do the deep cleaning (bathrooms, floors, ironing, windows, etc). I can say that the money is well spent, as it gives the family more free time to concentrate on what is important... being together!. Hope this helps.

Anngene - posted on 07/10/2010

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The best thing to do to keep up to date, with the least amount of stress is to tidy up when the kids go to bed, its the best time really. I used to spend most of the day tiding up after them, but it really becomes to much and really gets you stressed, because they just come 5 minutes later and mess where you have just tidied.If you are planning to go out in the morning, its also best to prepare and get everything ready the night before, it really makes the morning stress free:-)

Lisa - posted on 07/10/2010

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1. Don't expect a perfectly clean/tidy house. Not possible after you have a kid and if you have no help form parents/in-laws/nannies.
2. Prioritise what's MOST important - e.g hubby needs clothes for work. you need fresh clothes too, especially if you have a toddler in the midst of trying to feed himself/herself. And your little guy, he obviously needs plenty of fresh change of clothes at this age. so laundry is important. as for dishes, bottles, etc, wash them when your tod is sleeping - nap time and at night.
3. Factor in a BREAK for yourself - if your kid naps for 2 hours, take 30 mins to wash dishes, another 30 mins to vacuum and mop, and one hour to REST. on another day, you can vacuuming and mopping with toilet cleaning or ironing.
4. Split the rest of the chores. Save bills, car washing, grocery shopping for weekends when your hubby is around.

I am a SAHM too and my hubby works long hours. He helps during the weekends but during the weekdays, gosh, it's hard to just go into the kitchen to prepare little Aidan's meals coz he just likes company so much. I stuff everything into the 2.5 hours of his nap time including breaks. Just talking to friends on the phone or 15 mins or surfing the net as a personal break HELPS me unwind. Having said this, I've learnt to live with a sort-of untidy house. I tell myself the home looks like it's got family in it so it's nice in that way :)

Keely - posted on 07/09/2010

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@Katy Whitcher - This desensitizing the baby to the play-pen and high chair wouldn't work for AP parents unfortunately. I get work done around the house without Tiber needing to be plonked somewhere with a timer (LOL). Hey if it works for you great, but yeah.....not for AP parents.

Casey - posted on 07/09/2010

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wen he's asleep you may be tired but clean an get everything done then go to bed or have me. i have a 5 yrs old an 6 month old plus i work an i help my husband around the house

Sharleanna - posted on 07/09/2010

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Flylady.net has changed my life!!!!! I never could keep my little house picked up and seriously my house is close to spotless or 15 minutes away from being so.... You will get there just gotta find what works for you!!!

Jenna - posted on 07/09/2010

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Flylady.net has helped many people... I need constant lists, reminders since I have trouble managing our home as well. I also have found a "home management notebook" is helpful as well --- if you google it, mNy blogs will come up showing how to make one, oh! And simplemom.net is fantastic also. Good luck!

Donna - posted on 07/09/2010

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The best time for my cleaning is while my babies are sleeping. I have a 2 1/2 girl, 1yr girl, and 6months pregnant with boy. I wake up 1hour before their wake up time (5am),only when I need to clean or I will stay up late at night to clean up. We put our babies to sleep at 7pm and by 7:30pm, both are in bed. This gives us time to clean up. My husband works full time and still comes home to help out with dishwashing and serves dinner. Nap time is at 11am, I either take a nap myself or I clean. So basically I have 5am, 11:30am, or 8pm to clean up.
I break up my cleaning. One day I will clean the kitchen, the next day I will clean the bathrooms,and so on. A house will never remain spotless when you have little ones. I give myself little cleaning goals for the day to feel good. And ignore the rest. Good luck

Kawanda - posted on 07/09/2010

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first of all i think you should pray with God all things are possible. It's only hard because its new, and this too shall pass. Establish a schedule and stick to it. Take at least one day a week for you to prevent becoming overwhelmed.Smile and count your blessings because you ARE truly blessed.

Katy - posted on 07/09/2010

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I agree with the playpen and high chair ideas Crystal mentioned.

We routinely had "playpen time" and "high chair time" when our children were babies and toddlers. If you haven't already accostumed your son to "playpen time," start out with SMALL increments of time: 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, etc., slowly working up to an age appropriate time... never more than 45 minutes, though... an hour MAX! only if they are really enjoying themselves, though! And no more than twice a day if possible. I usually used the time to take a shower, or do chores that were hard to do with them underfoot like mopping, once they were up to a good amount of time and perfectly content.

I would suggest only 4 toys, 1 toy per corner, though. Rotate which are the 4 toys each day (or time) to make sure the toys are holding his interest. Let your child explore each toy and have time to himself. Our kids grew to LOVE playpen time! REALLY!!!

In order to accomplish this, when you are letting your child get accustomed to playpen time, get the child OUT of the playpen the moment you hear the slightest discontented sound. Do NOT let them be having a good time and then get to crying and then be taking them out. If you do, they'll start crying to get out and they will never grow to see it as their own personal space and enjoyable exploration time.

And NEVER, ever put them in the playpen to discipline them (if you can avoid it)! Their playpen should be a safe, snug place of joy and contentment.

The same goes with the "high chair time." Make sure you rotate a toy or 2 or different coloring books, etc.... SPECIAL things that they ONLY have in high chair time so that they look forward to the time. And again, get them out before they get to a crying point. You know the signs before crying starts? ...sighing, banging, slight whining, restlessness, etc. Setting a timer for a specific time is good for you and for baby.

Having said all that, sometimes if a child hasn't been accustomed to a playpen or high chair from a very young age, there will be an adjustment time in the beginning and they WILL cry from the moment you put them in there! If that happens, just set a timer... first for about 5 minutes and then get them out when the timer goes off. The next time set the timer for 6-7 minutes, etc. Once the child realizes that they won't be in there forever, they will settle in to the idea. But, make sure you DON'T then jump up to a huge amount of time once they are getting used to it. Still move up the time by increments.

Once you have established playpen time, you can listen for crying (in case they have pooped their diaper) or are struggling with something, but then after the diaper change let the playpen time continue until the timer goes off.

It worked for us!

Of course, you need to decide what is best for you and your child.

HTH

Michelle - posted on 07/09/2010

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I am beginning to think that the only reason I have a neat home is because I developed a few OCD's once I brought baby home. That and well I have a pretty small apartment. I HAVE to vaccume just about every other day because my one year old likes to eat lil crumbs off the floor. Ew! I let some of the chores go. Sometimes I get my husband to do his own laundry so I can catch up. One big help for me is that we have everything well baby proofed. I can let my son run around between his room and our living room and know that he is pretty safe. Other than maybe hitting himself in the head with his own toy or something haha. But he plays while I clean the kitchen. We have an open floor plan so I can easily look up and see him. My kitchen is the only gated off place and while I cook he's right at the gate thowing his toys to me. It's our game I guess. Also I fill the sink with soapy water and let the dishes pile up till bedtime then they're easier to wash off. Take it one day at a time and if doesn't all get done there's always the next day. Give yourself a break. Don't forget about nap time and bed time is a chance for you to pamper yourself and not only for catching up on housework.

Rebecca - posted on 07/09/2010

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Im pretty lucky in that respect as my hubby like to clean! but i guess in generally we clean up as we go - then stuff never really has the chance to build up. The bathroom cleaning I do when B is in bed, and the washing just gets done while he scoots around playing - I think i have come to realize that you dont have to entertain bubs all day - let them play on their own - as long as the room they are in is safe for them. Dont stress about cleaning too much - its not the most importnant thing,

Jessica - posted on 07/09/2010

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getting everything done is impossible!! but your DH can help, he used to before the little one he can contribute a little now as well. My house is never perfect, I have a 1 yr old and a 6yr old. I do alot of speed cleaning while the little one naps and then do the dishes and kitchen cleaning after they're in bed. Just pick up as you go through out the day. If you want to clean up in the kitchen give the baby some pots and pans to occupy him for a few minutes. Baby gates are also wonderful. Block the door to whatever room you're cleaning so he's always within eyesight. You'll find something that works for you, you may have to try a few things first though. I know I was incredibly overwhelmed for a while too, but once you realize you can't be superwoman and do what you can and accept that, you'll feel better. Good luck!

Karla - posted on 07/09/2010

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I'm sorry but I have no idea what advise to give here because it seems I'm in the same place you are; I feel like I can't get anything done. My husband and I have a 9 year old and a 6month old and I am pregnant with our third due in February. We both work part-time so that we can spend as much time as possible with our children and not have to send them to a sitter. We really try to split up the household responsibilities as even as possible but lets be honest, the women always has more to do. I can never keep up with the laundry and when I do get it done it sits in baskets in my room for weeks because I never get around to folding and putting away. Dishes are always piled up, I'm always behind on making baby food and cleaning diapers... Somedays I feel like I'm drowning. Everyone keeps telling me it gets better so I guess I will just keep plugging away until that day comes and try to smile! Good luck to you and know that you're not the only one out there struggling. We do what we can and thats all we can do!

Bethany - posted on 07/09/2010

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www.flylady.net

that's all I need to say. It has changed our lives for good. I never feel overwhelmed or buried. So good.

Katy - posted on 07/09/2010

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Wow. First of all. Go easier on yourself. You are right... it's harder than people think.

1) Don't set big goals. Set little ones.
2) Your house won't be perfect. It's okay. Enjoy your beautiful baby and love your husband.
3) You'll still need help from your husband. Pick some things, or have him pick some things, that he can/wants to help you with: Costco shopping; dropping off/picking up dry cleaning; taking out trash; help organizing the garage; taking stuff to the Goodwill; loading the dinner dishes into the dishwasher; giving mom time-out to talk a walk or relax at Starbucks... these are some of the things my dh helps me with. (And I've been a stay-at-home mom for over 14 years.)
4) Be in prayer daily.
5) Check out FlyLady.net. She's got lots of helpful hints.
"Progress, not perfection."
6) Live well; laugh often; love much.

HTH

Shelley - posted on 07/09/2010

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i feel the same way. alot of pressure from myself to keep the place better. but i don't . I don't have any ideas. I have tried to keep my daughter occupied with toys in her crib but she gets annoyed and starts crying after like 15 minutes. it's like she always needs to be entertained and she's 5 mths old. i guess it helps when u have someone watching the baby while you do housework or vice versa.

Latisha - posted on 07/09/2010

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Some one already beat me to it but Flylady.net is a savings grace.
Here is what happens, I get up in the morning and make my bed, get dressed, clean the bathroom and throw a load of clothes in the wash. Sounds like a lot right, well in all honestly it takes about ten minutes. Then I do what I can during the day. I homeschool and have six kids from 11 yrs on down to the baby about to turn 1. We have a "room rescue" which is what Flylady calls it, and basically it is where you go around one room in your home and pick up as much as you can in 5 minutes. That helps a lot.
Then at night your basic routine is to "shine your sink" and then pick out your clothes for tomorrow and then go to bed at a decent time.
She starts you off on baby steps where you slowly build your routines doing what you can. It is a life saver and her routines really help. Good luck

Karen - posted on 07/09/2010

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I don't! LOL We are the gaurdians of 7 yr. old twins, plus I babysit my almost 6 mo. old grandson two days a week, plus we have a busy summer schedule and some weeks are lucky to stay at home for a complete day. I feel good if I get the basics done, laundry, dishes, keeping the house liveable, not spic and span, liveable. Especially during the summer it's nearly impossible to "get everything done". Relax.

Debbie - posted on 07/09/2010

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most people don't have a routine when your child is one. It's go with the flow kind of mood and when your child is resting you are suppose to be resting as well. You could do some things at night when you put your son to bed. Laundry well you can put a load on one a day or something and put it away one basket at a time. If you have space set up a play pen and allow your child to play a bit and you can get some things done. You can have your son in a high chair and give him some toys but they really don't like to stay still but if you can then do some thing around that. But your son is one it's the hardest time to get any thing done cause he needs you most of the time. I have been running a day care for nine years and I get every thing I need to get done but it took me a long time to get into a routine. Start slowly and just grow from there and do the best you can and if you don't get all done then don't sweet it... later on you will be able to get things done.

[deleted account]

My daughter takes pretty regular naps, so if that is the case for your LO, too, then you can get a lot done during that time. When she is awake, I don't do any chores around the house at all. We spend that time together.
Otherwise, I created a rough weekly schedule... on Mondays, my goal is to do these 2-3 things around the house. I'm a very organized person, so that works for me. But I also understand that it's just a theory - if it doesn't always get done, its ok. The only one who looks at the schedule is me, and its ok to push it back a day or two because something comes up, or you simply just don't feel like it.
The biggest thing for me is the dishes - I hate it. So, as others have suggested here, I do them as I use them, that way I don't always have a big pile to do once a day. We eat a meal, and while she plays, I clean up everything. Only takes a few minutes, and gets it out of the way.
Yes, your husband can help, but he wants his baby time after work to. I think a heart-to-heart on expectations and what is reasonable during the day is a good idea. I read when I was pregnant a story about a stay at home mom, and she commented to her husband "the baby is still alive, isn't he?" and that was her measure of success. You can't do more than you can do. I'm lucky - my husband stayed home her first year while I worked, and now we've switched roles, so he completely understands.
If nothing else, and you are still really concerned about his frustration, try to find a "Mr. Mom" on one of these boards or in your community that you can be friends with, and then introduce him to your husband. Allow another man to give him a look at life home with children from another point of view.
Best of luck!

Laura - posted on 07/09/2010

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I too have a constant mound of laundry, dirty dishes, and messy floors. I feel like I just read something I would post! My husband doesn't pressure me to keep the house tidy either, but I always feel like he should come home to a clean house. It's just hard cleaning one room, then moving to the next , just to have the first one messy all over again. My kids are 2 and 5 and they run me in circles. I do have dinner cooked every night tho. I think that's the only thing that's keeping my hubby grounded. Men and food! He helps with the cleaning every so often, but he mostly takes care of the outside/yardwork. I had PPD after my son was born and was put on antidepressants. They helped a lot, and I am much better now. Hang in there, you'll figure something out! Try making a chore sheet. Write the days of the week down, and the chore you'd like to accomplish that day. Like, Monday: Sweep/Vacuum. Tuesday: Dishes and Bathrooms, etc. No one can do it ALL in one day! Having a list makes it seem more doable! Good Luck!

Tricia - posted on 07/09/2010

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My son is 18 months...He has breakfast in the highchair in the morning and then for an hour after that he stays in the playpen with his milk and toys and cartoons...during that hour I get stuff done. Then I let him run and play for an hour or more. Then it's lunch time and now he can feed himself so I put his food on his highchair tray and he eats for about 30 minutes while I get something else done (of course he is always in my view while eating). Then he plays and runs for another half hour. Then he goes in the crib for an hour nap and I do more stuff around the house. When he wakes up he has his milk in the playpen again while I eat lunch. Then he plays a little more. Then I put him in the highchair for a snack and do more stuff I need to do. Then he plays more and then goes back into the highchair for dinner and we eat together. When my husband comes home from working full time and going to school he helps me with whatever I have left to do that I didn't get done. It usually isn't much left but he see's when it's not much left that I got stuff done and I feel like super wife and super mom. Hubby is happy and baby is happy! Then when my hubby comes home baby goes to bed and hubby goes to sleep and I lay down and watch my SOAP and relax and then go to bed. Do it all the next day...just keep a routine and don't leave your baby in the same place for too long because they will get bored and fussy. Sometimes I put him in the highchair with crayons and he colors for a while which also helps me get stuff done. Give time for the baby to play and eat, you to eat and get stuff done that way you don't feel overwhelmed and feel like you didn't get anything done.

Cheryl - posted on 07/09/2010

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Not to step over any boundaries here, but if you husband is getting fed up with the state of the house, he could clean it. I had some similar problems after the birth of my first son and now after three, I just don't get bogged down in it. Clean the things that make you crazy and let the rest go until you can ask for some help from your husband or a good friend. My schedule is crazy so I probably can't help with the scheduled cleaning aspect of it, but just let it go and don't stress about it too much. You're a good mom and a good wife and you have to let yourself believe that. Good luck!

Emma - posted on 07/09/2010

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i find it quite hard but still manage welll my son is 18 month old and has separation issuse so will not stay anywhere unless he can see me i also have a 3 year old with behavior troubles and am currently 5 month pregnant, we start our day together at half 7 every morning come down do the pots whilst my 18 month old stands on a box beside me and helps with spoons and his plastic pots he uses, we then eat breakfast together and get dressed empty dryer put washing from washer to dry and set another load off my 3 year old go's round with the duster with my 18 month whilst we take it inturns to hoover (both my boys love taking part) we then prepare sanwiches in a sanwich box for dinner at dinner time and prepare tea ready for cooking at 5 after this there about 30 min spare to quickly clean bathroom this is a typical moring in our house

Erin - posted on 07/09/2010

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I have a 14 month old. First thing I did to help me get everything done, was I made up a schedule of things to do. For example, I dust once a week on Friday, Wash bed sheets also on friday, Clean bathrooms on Monday, etc. There are also my everyday things such as dishes and laundry. I just throw a load in and swap it over as I go throughout the day and then I fold it in the livingroom as my little guy plays with his toys. Dishes and other cleaning I wait until he naps. I am lucky as he takes two naps a day. I also get alittle done after my little guy goes down for the night. I hope this gives you some ideas and helps a little. Don't get me wrong, I still get behind a little here and there.

Jamie - posted on 07/09/2010

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First of all, BREATHE! Then realize you cannot get everything done everyday. I am a SAHM as well, and similarly my husband and I use to split most house chores, now its predominantly up to me. We kind of have a routine, usually my husband gets up with our son around 6 and lets me sleep till 7, then I get up and make the baby breakfast and feed him. My son still takes a morning nap, so after I put him down, I do whatever needs to desperately be done first, usually the baby areas of the house make that list first, my husband's and my b-room last on the list. While my son is awake I usually do laundry, at least putting the loads in, hanging anything, folding, separating what needs to be ironed (that's a morning chore). On top of that before lunch we try to do the grocery shopping and/or errands. then after lunch during the afternoon nap, I just clean up the little stuff and maybe do something from my morning list, but usually I take this time to regroup, plan out dinner. When my husband comes home he plays with the baby while I get dinner going. We both split up the baby related night stuff, bath, bottle, story, bed. Then we try to have dinner together. After dinner we watch tv and then my husband does the dishes.

The important thing to remember, you cannot always get everything done, (this was hard for me to come to terms with I have a bit of OCD). Try to get what you think is the most important stuff done. Its also important to take time out to enjoy your child and to have some time to yourself.

If you think your spouse is getting annoyed, then talk to him about what he thinks is the most important stuff. We learned this is our baby class before our son was born, make a list of chores and other stuff, like spending time together, and then separately mark each thing as either not important, not so important, important, and vital. See what you agree on, (these things make it to the top of the list) and what there is leway on. Then see what things your spouse is willing to help out with. My husband grew up doing the dishes after dinner, so he doesnt mind doing this, or taking out the trash. I like to cook, so I do that.

Its important though that you don't let yourself get too overwhelmed. And if you really need it, look into having a cleaner come in. I did it and still do, once in awhile I have someone come in to do the big things that just dont usually make my list, like cleaning the oven. Its nice, cause then i get to spend the day with my son at the park instead of cleaning. There's nothing to be ashamed of.

Crystal - posted on 07/08/2010

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First of all, take a deep breath! Next, go out and buy a little housekeeping kid for your son! I got one that has a little broom, mop, duster and such. I also have a toy vaccum and a toy washing machine (that sits beside my big machine) At 1, he is just getting to the stage where he likes to emulate. I have a 9mos old and a 34mos old! My daughter, the oldest, LOVES to "help" do the work, and my son loves to bang the broom on the floor, play with the toy vaccum or chase the real vaccum. What this means is that often, I don't get a perfect clean. Further, there is often a few spots that are missed all together, where his sitting. But, I am able to do it often enough with their "help" that these spots eventually get done. Pick a day that your husband is off and make it a meal prep day. Prepare all of your meals for the week and keep them in the fridge or freezer. This leaves you more time throughout the week for other things, as you don't have to set aside time to make meals, as well, there are less day to day dishes. Finally, commit to 30 minutes of cleaning after your son goes to bed. This may not sound like much, but you will be AMAZED at how much you can get done in 30 minutes! Oh, and laundry...throw all of the clean laundry on the bed and toss the baby in the middle. He will love rolling around and playing in the clothes while you fold them, and your are close enough that you will catch him if he gets too close to the edge. There may be a few pieces that you have to rewash (spit up, slobber, ect) but, in the end, when you see how much more you are getting done, it really isn't that big of a deal. Then, put it all away when he goes down for his nap.

A day in my house looks like this: Baby gets up first, feed him, then he plays while I put away the dishes from the night before (I air-dry, something I swore I would never do, but saves time!) and sweep and vaccum. We also do a lot of one on one playing while I clean (peek a boo is great at this time!) Daughter gets up and gets her breakfast. Everyone gets dressed and I throw in a load of laundry. Then, if we have errands, we get them done. Come home for babies nap and one on one time with my daughter, playing or doing crafts. When baby gets up, it is more play time and lunch, followed by more play time! Baby takes a nap and my daughter and I have quiet time together, watching a movie or doing a craft. Then, more play time. Baby wakes up, and, more play time! Dinner, baths, and kids are in bed by 7pm. I do 1/2 hour of cleaning and relax and enjoy my evening!

Kandace - posted on 07/08/2010

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Schedule Schedule Schedule! That is what works the best! I have a 1 and 2 year old and I have finally found what work for our family. I get up every morning give my boys a litttle play time, turn on cartoons for a short time and change diapers. Make breakfast, while they are playing or watching cartoons I start chores and try to finish them in a few hours. During this I serve breakfast have a learning session while their in their high chairs. Then let them play, continue chores. Then snack around 10:30 then brush teeth, trim nails, and then a potty time then continue chores. Try to finish up around 11 or 11:30 sit and play with the kids. Potty time again and then lunch aroun 12:15 or 12:30 then I give my older toddler alone time with me and put my younger baby down. My older toddlers goes for a nap about 1:00-1:15 and then I rest for 2 to 3 hours isn't that wonderful! Wake up change diapers spend time with my youngest give him a snack, potty time and then wake up my older baby daiper change, snack, potty time. Potty time is 2 to 4 times a day. Dinner is around 6:00. Another little snack and then we have a quite time with bath around 7:30. this schedule works very well. I do laundry throughout the day. It will get easier the older they get!

Deanna - posted on 07/08/2010

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Stop trying to do it all, all at once. I am a SAHM of two (almost 2 and 4) and in college full-time. Sometimes, the laundry isn't all done and the dishes in the sink are dirty. Let go! Besides, enjoy your little one while he is still little. Do what you can and the rest will be there. But your son will not be little forever. Besides, it is good for you too! Do something during nap time and consider that an accomplishment! Dust with music on and both of you having fun. Give the baby a feather duster (my 22 month old helps unload the dishwasher). I am sure he will love it!!!!!

Tracy - posted on 07/08/2010

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I have heard of flylady.net and would have used it if I hadn't come up with my own system. Before I had my daughter (now 2 years old) I used to clean the whole house in 1 day. It's great if you have the energy, but once a little one comes along that energy seems to evaporate. :-P So, I wrote down all my weekly chores into one big list. Then I made a separate list for daily chores, picking apart my weekly list until it was gone. Once I had all my chores assigned to a specific day I took a look at it and moved things around so it was a realistic and do-able list. Here is what I came up with: Monday - baby laundry, dust, vacuum; Tuesday - my laundry, grocery shopping; Wednesday - hubby's laundry; Thursday - clean and mop floors; Friday - clean bathrooms. It looks pretty simplistic when you write it out that way, but it's worked for me for 2 years now! All my chores get done in 1 hour or less a day and then I'm done. I have the rest of the day to be with my little lady and have our fun time. Sometimes I include her in my chores sometimes I do it while she is sleeping. I'm sorry you're going through such a struggle. Just keep at it and you will find your way. Tracy

Marie - posted on 07/08/2010

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I get how hard it is even with just one child. I have three 1 year olds, and a 3 year old home with me. It gets really difficult. What I have learned is how to make everything a game. When I do laundry, I sort the clothes on the bed and pull out the socks first. Then I ball them and dump them on the floor with the laundry basket. The little ones have fun putting them in the basket and then I dump it out again. We sing while doing that over and over until the laundry is folded. Also, for dishes I load the dishwasher during naptime, and unload it when the kids are up. I give the little ones the tupperware, which gets thrown in a low cabinet and is never organized, but they have fun and everything is clean. We also play a game with the vacuum, so they run and jump on the couch to get away from it. I say, "run, run its gonna get you," and they run laughing to the couch. They have a lot of fun with that. Getting the kids involved and making a game out of everything works for me.

Brandi - posted on 07/08/2010

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Managing a home is hard work! I never knew what ALL it entailed until I became a stay at home mom as well. At first I was trying to do everything daily, and never left the house. Getting out helped me a lot. It rejuvinates me and gives me the energy to get stuff done. The BEST ADVICE I ever got from another stay at home mom was to ask your husband what his top five or top three things that are mportant to him. He may say dinner is #1 so make that a priority that everyday you have a meal prepared for him. #2 might be laundry so focus on the laundry. By focusing on his top three your husband will be happy and the other stuff that doesnt get done won't seem like a big deal because you will be meeting his needs!

Meghan - posted on 07/08/2010

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try a play pen (its what they were originally intended for) or baby gates to hold him in one preferrably baby-proof area of the house while you work on the other. Many toddlers like to help you too. Start with teaching him how to pick up his toys (always nice when they do that!). It's not going to be completely smooth. There is NO such thing with toddlers running around. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to have the perfect spot-less model home. People understand that you have a child and some things just have to take a back burner during infancy/toddler-hood. Just stay calm and realize that it's ok to let some of it go for a while.

Melinda - posted on 07/08/2010

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I would suggest to make a schedule each week and divide chores evenly between the both of you. Make sure chores are done before you go to bed, it won't pile up if you do. Once you are on a routine of keeping the house picked up all the time; you will only spend a little time a day picking up the house instead of one day a week bombarded with a million things to do.

Kelly - posted on 07/08/2010

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Sounds like no one's house is perfect (which is nice to hear), take a few months to find a routine that works for you (try and adjust and try again), my 1yro likes to dust... try giving him a cloth, she also likes to use the hose on the vaccuum so I let her do around her chair. Talk with your husband about what you're struggling with and what you can get done and see what he can help put with or if he can help think of shortcuts you haven't. Sounds like you're a great mom and that's why you're staying home, not to be a housekeeper!

Jenn - posted on 07/08/2010

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i understand how hard it is with a one year old, my daughter is so busy all the time never stops plus i have a 6month old bf lol, but what i do to keep me on track is i write a list each week of what needs to be done, and each day ill do a little bit here and there, if im awake enough ill vacuum as my 1yr old is eating so thats out of the way and she is busy. i clean the pool well she is outside playin with her toys. I have my lazy days too but i just play catch up if need be. once you get yourself in the right mind set that you are gonna do something that day just do it! I do most of my stuff well they are sleeping or ill pop in the wiggles for 45mins and get things done. then the rest of the day is play time :) Its hard but it works for me. For supper time i try and prep all i can before hand or prep make on weekend and freeze it. Just know that staying home is hard but it is the best thing you can do for your child :) I love it now that i get things done and i can play with my girls. Much less stress. I hope i was a little bit of help. Take care of yourself cause you need to be healthy in order for your kids to be healthy :) good luck

Kim - posted on 07/08/2010

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Everything will never get done and it only gets worse as they get older! I have a 16 year old, 15 year old and a 11 year old. There is still stuff all over but the stuff is bigger! Footballs, lacrosse sticks, bigger clothes to wash (my daughter does her own luckily) They leave empty glasses, milk containers, and of course nobody else puts them away! They can do some stuff and they do but of course its not with a happy face! My daughter does clean the house if I ask and pay her of course and my son just started to cut the lawn. But then your taking them here and picking them up there. But in a few years it will be over and I will miss all the craziness they cause! So don't worry too much about the small stuff!

Lesley - posted on 07/08/2010

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Just do what you can. Rome wasn't built in a day. Your house will not fall down if it's not cleaned top to bottom, a hot meal is not on the table, etc. I take it day by day with my 21 month old. She is always on the go. Luckily, she likes to help and I get her involved. Takes longer to do the chore but it's fun doing it together. I vacuum and mop once a week - more than enough! My walks everyday with my daughter entail our errands. Cooking is easy - she usually plays in the kitchen while I cook. The rest falls into place. xox

Beth - posted on 07/07/2010

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I get up 1-2 hours before my 3 boys usually wake up in order to get chores accomplished, work out, shower. Use his nap time to get dinner ready. Keep Clorox wipes on the back of the toilet in each bathroom for easy, quick wipe downs. You will NEVER have a perfectly clean house again, unless you are fortunate enough to have a cleaning lady! Just do the best you can and make good use of your time. Good luck!

Melany - posted on 07/07/2010

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First off, when they hit one, it is so hard to keep up the house because you are constantly chasing the little ones around. I have 3 kids and my youngest is now 3. I can FINALLY see the light. However, that said, my MIL gave me the best advice when I first started staying home - she told me to try to accomplish 1 thing a day. If it is getting through some of the laundry - that's great. My biggies are always the laundry and the kitchen because you have to eat and you have to have clean clothes to wear. The rest can go if you are feeling overwhelmed.

I noticed someone did recommend flylady and she does have a great routine. She focuses on the clean sink and tackles a different part of the house every week. It helps keep you focused.

Good luck and don't beat yourself up.

Dawn - posted on 07/07/2010

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put them in a pack n play with some toys and let them play by themselves,,,nothing wrong with that,,i've also put the pack n play in front of a favorite show or channel while i got somethings done,,

don't try and get everything done in one day,,it won't work,,,laundry one day, bathroom the next, dust and vacuuming another,,pick and choose which days to do what,,,

you won't feel soo overwhelmed!

Dee - posted on 07/07/2010

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Try not to make yourself crazy cleaning. When your child grows up is it important you were a good mom or a good housekeeper? Im not suggesting your home turn into an episode of "Hoarders" but you can let a few things slide. Use paper plates and paper cups, this will help with dishes, I know its not "green" but I am sure there are "green" products. Laundry is a struggle with little ones, I used to put in a load in the morning, fold during morning nap. Put a load in at lunch, fold during evening nap. Put a load in at dinner, fold after baby is in bed. You just have to fit it in when you can, and do what is easiest. And the number one thing that saved my house from looking like a complete disaster area?? A laundry basket!! At the end of the day I would take a basket from room to room, fill it with everything that was out of place, and redistribute it in the proper place. It saved me from a lot of walking at the end of the day, it was one of the best pieces of cleaning advice I got from my mom. Pick your battles wisely, housekeeping doesn't have to be one. Hope this helped a little.

Anna - posted on 07/07/2010

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I don't get everything done....I have some health issues which mean I need to rest during naps, etc. I understand feeling overwhelmed and feeling like you need to do more. My husband is awesome, and he always reminds me that my job is our daughter. If she is safe and well cared for (which she most certainly is), that's enough and anything I can get done in addition is great but not necessary. He usually cleans the kitchen up in the evening, and he carries laundry up and down the stairs for me (health issue makes this hard on me). If the floor is a bit of a mess, we don't stress about it. If the bathroom isn't the cleanest, nbd. We keep it liveable, and when we have company we do a little more cleaning. But we don't mind a "lived-in" look in our lived-in house. And I totally agree with whoever said to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your husband and lay it all out there. What you feel capable of, where you need help, how you feel. And prioritize. If you can only get one thing done today, what do you want done? What needs to get done vs. what you'd like to get done.

Krystle - posted on 07/07/2010

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Just get used to the idea that the house won't always be perfectly clean. There will always be something to do.

I have a big toy box that if people are coming over I can dump all the toys in there quickly.

I do laundry 2x a week, usually. (But then the clothes will sit in the basket for 3 more days....)

Dishes 3x a week, but they pile up and look unsightly too...

Vacuuming....hahaha well, I only do that once a month!

So to repeat what everyone else has said, we don't get everything done all the time, because the work is never ending. So relax and enjoy being home with your boy! :)

Shanon - posted on 07/07/2010

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i try to pick up one room at a time . we r only one person thats what noone understands. i try to do everything when the kids r naping. i have three that r in school so it helps out a little.

Samantha - posted on 07/07/2010

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I have a 5 year old, 3 year old and a 13 month old, mostly I incorporate quiet time 2 times a day and that is when I do most of the cleaning. Also getting organized is a HUGE help. Get 3 baskets for laundry and sort as you go, that way when you have 5 seconds all you have to do is throw some in. Also a basket for each member of the family can stay in the laundry room and you can sort as you fold, all you have to do now is take it their room and put it away we do almost 25 loads of laundry a week!!! Dishes are a huge thing here as well...try making sure the dishes are done every night before you go to bed that way you can start fresh with an empty sink/ dishwasher in the morning. Block off and baby proof an entire room that you can trust to leave your baby for some independant play time (they need it anyway) and get a few small things done, also do whatever you can while baby is sleeping.

I also babysit a 3 year old and 4 year old and have 5 kids under 5 on a regular basis and suprisingly my house is not in total ruins. It's all in how you organize and keep your kids busy while you are busy.
One more tip, while baby is snacking and is sitting in the highchair, do dishes and clean kitchen stuff while waiting for him to finish, at least you know he is contained and can't get hurt!

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