How do you get your child to play and watch Tv on his own?

Amy - posted on 08/27/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Myson does not like to play or do things without us in the room. He always wants us to play games with him or watch TV with him. Even before he goes to sleep he has to have us in with him. He candeal if it is only one of us but would prefer the two of us. Sometimes we have stuff to do around the house or dishes to do. Has this happened to you and how do you handle it. I wantto spend as much time possible but sometimes I have things to do. He is ok if other friends are here with him or he is at a friends house. It is very hard sometimes. He has gotten better but he use to be alot worse. Any suggestions Would love some support in this matter. I am always asking him to play or watch tv by himself and let me finish what ever I need to do first and if he does he is not patient. I have to stop what I am doing to go with him. Plus he is demanding thins too. Like when He is hungry Mom make me a sandwich, yes I will give me a minute. No mom do it now. Or when he wants me to watch tv, Mon come up and watch tv with me. Let me finish what I am doin. No mom come up now. No Abe I have to finish this or that. It is hard on me. I want to sent this to all my communities but they only let you to sent it to one.

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Lydia - posted on 08/27/2009

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I will tell you what I told my husband just one week ago...You are his parent not his friend.I not telling you to be an strict parent, but you need to be respected. And children look for boundaries and they will try to push you. Look.. just tell him you do not want to watch tv and walk away. I he start having a tamtrum like hitting his head on the floor, screaming. Take a stand ....I am still not watching tv...and let me know when you are done when your tamtrum. That what I tell Ian. Because If you do not take at stand now, he will do this in a store, in a park. And believe me it is more difficult when people are staring at you....Looking at you like you are the worst parent in the world. And time out works for me also...It has gotten to the point that we say his name after he has done something wrong and he put himself in timeout. If you give in you lose power....and he knows it. You need to stick to your guns even if it hurt you a little.

Lisa - posted on 08/27/2009

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I would love some suggestions on part of this also.....

Amy...I totally understand your frustration, my 10 yr old was like that from infant til just recently, she just could not deal with playing alone. I just tried to help her understand that we just can't be there every second that there were things that had to get done...I let her do those things with me. Dishes, vacuuming,etc.. I also told her she could do a special activity in which ever room I was in while I was in there. A special coloring book, building blocks in the kitchen when toys weren't usually allowed in the kitchen. I found her looking forward to doing those things, while also learning that some things just have to be done.....On the other hand my 4 yr old son is the total opposite...he loves to play alone and can keep himself entertained for hours, but his attitude stinks....We did just have an addition to our family another son, so he could be reacting to that. However....the way I handle the "NOW" attitude is by saying "Excuse me, is that how we talk to each other?" Sometimes it works, but I have had to be really careful with how I talk to him also. He is a sponge, and picks up everything all the others do and say in the house....I can't very well tell him he can't do something if someone else gets away with the same behavior. Sometimes I don't talk back to him until he can change his tone and treat me with respect, the respect I deserve. But, I tell you it is driving me crazy!!!

Krystal - posted on 08/27/2009

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Well, the best advice that I can give is to stand up and be the mom in the situation. You have to stand up to his requests, and simply say, I know that you are hungry and I promise you that as soon as I finish washing these two plates I will make you one, but you are going to have to wait..I know that it won't be patiently waiting at first, but if you always drop what you are doing to do what he wants, he is going to continue to play it that way. He has the control right now, and you have to get it back. Make him wait. I am sorry if it seems mean, but really, he shouldn't be bossing you around and telling you what needs to be done now and what doesn't. He needs to learn that while he is important to you, other things are also important. Stick to your guns too. Don't let a tantrum force you into doing what he wants you to do. It's not easy, but it is worth it. Good luck to you with whatever you figure out!

Charity - posted on 08/27/2009

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It sounds like you are allowing your son to push you around and that is not ok. He needs to learn respect and manners. If you don't teach him these things now then he'll grow up to be a pretty crappy person. It's your job as his mother to teach him to be respectful. I personally know how hard this is because you don't want to fight with them and so you let little things go, however you have to be strong now or it will get worse as he gets older. I would start be teaching him to say please and thank you. My son is almost two but I won't do anything he asks me to do unless he says please first. I also do things on my time and not his. Your son should not demand things from you. If he demands that you watch tv with him, first tell him that if he wants something from you he needs to ask and second if your busy then the answer is no. If he whines or crys, turn the tv off and set him in time out until he can behave. Also if you need to do something in a different room than your son, you could tell him what you are going to do and if he would like to come he is more than welcome or he can stay where he's at however do not let him control you and tell you that you have to stay. It's ok if he throws a temper tantrum as long as he doesn't hurt anyone.

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