how do you go from co=-sleeping to the crib?

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Crystal - posted on 02/18/2009

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crying it out is not giving your child independence it's teaching your child that there is no point to the crying because you won't meet their needs.

It's cruel and there are ways to get babies to sleep without letting them cry it out.

Samantha - posted on 02/18/2009

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I would try getting her in the crib for naps first....stay next to the crib until she falls asleep, and slowly stay less time each day until your just putting her in there for bed...that way youre still next to her while shes going to bed but she gets use to you not sleepith with her...good luck!

[deleted account]

There probably is no good way. You will have to put her in the crib and let her cry. I learned that the hard way with the first one and when number 2 arrives in May, there is NO SLEEPING with mom or dad this time. Can not go through that again!!! If she is sleeping, put her in and hope she stays asleep. If she wakes in the middle of the night you are just going to have to leave her cry or try getting her back to sleep and putting her back in. GOOD LUCK!!!!

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User - posted on 05/09/2012

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I disagree with that! My daughter has been by my side since day 1 and we HAD to use a form of CIO bc she would not go to sleep no matter what.. If I sat beside her crib it made her cry worse bc she wanted me to pick her up and was upset that I was in there not picking her up.. I bf her for 15 months and am now weaning her and she still is very very bonded to me and will always be that way bc I love her, if you do everything for your child and answer them everytime they cry they will not ever learn to be independant and often turn into brats who cry for everything when they do not get their way.. If what you said is true we all would be crying everytime we did not get our way, there are other cues babies give us to help us know they want something.. It's not always crying and it often depends on the age of the child...

Rebecca - posted on 02/20/2009

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I am in the process of getting my 5 month old to sleep in her crib and so far it is going great. I did try letting her cry for 5 minutes one night and it made it worse, she was more upset and could not calm down.  Crying it out is definitely not for us! I do rock her to sleep and lay her down once she is asleep.  We are trying a little at a time.  At first she would wake up within 15-20 minutes of being laid down but she is getting better and takes at least 1 hour naps and sleeps for an average of 4 hours at night before waking up to eat.  I think some progress is better than no progress. I am willing to be patient and to take time to help her adjust instead of letting her cry it out.  Like most posters said, you have to do what works for your family and what is best for your baby. 



Lisa - posted on 02/20/2009

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I started by having her nap during the day in her crib so she would get use to a new spot.  Then started trying it at night with her lullabies. Worked for her.

Rachel - posted on 02/20/2009

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We are working on this now. I had to go home in December (back to Alaska) for 2 weeks when my mom died. It was easier for her to sleep w/dad... well now she hates the crib and cries like there is no tomorrow. I have been working on getting her back into the crib and when it's just she and I, it's OK, but as soon as she see's dad, holy hannah. She has him wrapped around her finger. To be honest, it drives me crazy. She sleeps between us and rotates like a clock, often kicking and such. :(

Kathy - posted on 02/20/2009

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I will not co sleep with my ten month old. The fact is I did co sleep with my seven year old now I can not get him out of my bed, When I do try to put him into his own room and bed he cries and throws a fit. which then he wakes his brother up. I do believe in the cry it out method. Its just that I live in an apartment complex and I don't like to hear my boys cry

Yvette - posted on 02/20/2009

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Quoting Crystal:

Yvette you never co-slept have you? When my oldest children co-slept they woke up less during the night then when I had them in their cribs. If they were in bed with me they would wake up maybe twice in the night, but usually only once to eat, and if they were in their cribs I was getting up 4-5 times a night to console them. Co-sleeping is safe if you take the right precautions, which you obviuosly know nothing about.

I'm sorry that you all think it's okay to cio,and any amount of crying where you leave them alone in the room for ANY length of time IS cruel and only teaches them that they can't rely on you to meet their needs, and YES comfort IS a need, then that's your problem. My youngest is the only one who didn't co-sleep, he slept better in his own crib, but I never let my kids cry it out, and all three of them are the most independent children I know because they know that my husband and I will meet all their needs when they need them. They are not clingy, unless they are sick, and all 3 sleep in their own beds now.

I suggest reading up on Dr. Sears, he has some great parenting advice.



Actually Crystal, I have co-slept before, but only on occasions when I had no other choice. We went through a lot of transition times when Samantha was first born and there were times when we had no crib or bassinet available so those were the times that we co-slept. Please don't assume you know anything about my family. Anyways, I have to agree with previous posters that you have to do what is best for you and your family. If attachment parenting worked for you Crystal then good for you, but for us it was completely different. There is no right or wrong way to handle this. You just have to go with what you are comfortable with.

Crystal - posted on 02/19/2009

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Yvette you never co-slept have you? When my oldest children co-slept they woke up less during the night then when I had them in their cribs. If they were in bed with me they would wake up maybe twice in the night, but usually only once to eat, and if they were in their cribs I was getting up 4-5 times a night to console them. Co-sleeping is safe if you take the right precautions, which you obviuosly know nothing about.

I'm sorry that you all think it's okay to cio,and any amount of crying where you leave them alone in the room for ANY length of time IS cruel and only teaches them that they can't rely on you to meet their needs, and YES comfort IS a need, then that's your problem. My youngest is the only one who didn't co-sleep, he slept better in his own crib, but I never let my kids cry it out, and all three of them are the most independent children I know because they know that my husband and I will meet all their needs when they need them. They are not clingy, unless they are sick, and all 3 sleep in their own beds now.

I suggest reading up on Dr. Sears, he has some great parenting advice.

Sharon - posted on 02/18/2009

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Wow, so many different takes on  this topic. I will have to say this. I am a mom that did the "cry it out" with my firstborn and yes, he is sleeping through the night...12+ hours and a 3+ nap during the day but I will say this...I will never do it again! I was desperate when I did the CIO with him because I was pregnant and I needed a solution and a solution fast. I got the end result which is him sleeping on his own in his crib through the night but did I have other avenues to achieve this..YES! And I don't knock anyone for CIO because at the end of the day, it's what you feel is right for your family.



 



As for co-sleeping, I didn't co sleep with my first one until he was sick and ended up hospitalized for 6 months. After we came home from the hospital, we continue to co-sleep and would've continued had I not gotten pregnant. Everyone is different, but I will say for me and my family, this is the way all of us gets our sleep. My baby is now 3 months old and exclusively breast fed and co-sleeping couldn't be any better. Maybe because I'm already a light sleeper but whatever the case is, I can nurse, diaper change (if needed) and have us both back asleep within 15 minutes. I'm not sleep deprived and feel great in the morning. Whatever works for you and your family is what you should do. All I can do is offer what's worked for my family. Good luck!

Rachael - posted on 02/18/2009

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I agree with u 100% Yvette! We did the same thing for our daughter and it wrked wonders! Their is a difference between being cruel and the 'cry it out' method. My advice is you should only do what u feel is best for you and your child. Shame on those who are quick 2 judge :)

Yvette - posted on 02/18/2009

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Quoting Crystal:

I don't hate on it, as you put, I am basing it off actual facts and studies done. I've taken college classes about it and I am constantly researching child development.

It has shown that babies who cry it out are less bonded to their parents and less independent later on because their parents did not meet their needs when they needed it. They learn that they cannot count on their parents.

Check out The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Which I did mention just above.



I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with you. My daughter is 8 months old and I did the "cry it out method" to help her learn how to fall asleep on her own. I don't feel that she is less bonded to me at all. She snuggles to me and cries when I go away just like any child. I know my daughter loves me.



 



I think this method has a bad rep because people are confused on how to carry it out. For me and my husband "letting her cry it out" didn't mean we turned our back on her shut the door and never went in to check on her. Yes, that would be very cruel. When we first started we would wait about three mins. then go in comfort her for a little while, pat her back or talk to her soothingly. Then we would exit the room to wait another three mins. and so on. As the nights went on we would gradually expand the wait time and decrease how long we spent with her. At first it would take her up to an hour of us going back and forth before she finally fell asleep, but as the time went on it took her less and less time until she just didn't wake in the middle of the night anymore at all. Now, as a mother I got real good at knowing my daughter's different cries. I can tell when she is hungry, sleepy, dirty, hurt, or just wants comfort. I have learned to respond accordingly. However, nighttime is sleepy time not feeding, or rocking time. I do all those loving bonding moments during the day. So believe me, my daughter is not love deprived.



 



As for co-sleeping, it is very dangerous so I commend Christine for wanting to switch. Plus, really nobody sleeps  good in this condition. Because how well can you sleep when you child constantly wants to feed or move around. And how well can your partner sleep when there is a child in between the two of  you. So way to go. Let me suggest Dana Obleman's blog at http://www.sleepsense.net/blog/ . She has a lot of good advice for any sleeping issue. Hope this helps

Crystal - posted on 02/18/2009

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I don't hate on it, as you put, I am basing it off actual facts and studies done. I've taken college classes about it and I am constantly researching child development.

It has shown that babies who cry it out are less bonded to their parents and less independent later on because their parents did not meet their needs when they needed it. They learn that they cannot count on their parents.

Check out The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Which I did mention just above.

Christine - posted on 02/18/2009

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what is this book about that you use? everyone has a different method and crying it out works for a lot of people. dont hate on it just because it did not help you! thanks for your responds on this matter

Christine - posted on 02/18/2009

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you girls have great ideas! im not sure who this is harder on me or her! im going to try the cry method again last time she cried for 2 hours and im not sure i can do that again?

Paulette - posted on 02/18/2009

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Quoting Samantha:

I would try getting her in the crib for naps first....stay next to the crib until she falls asleep, and slowly stay less time each day until your just putting her in there for bed...that way youre still next to her while shes going to bed but she gets use to you not sleepith with her...good luck!



I agree with Samantha. I would play some soft music too, it will help sooth her. It isn't easy but you need to do this for her independence. It is a sweet time in both your lives but the longer you wait the harder it will become. If you have anymore babies in the near future it will exhaust you. By the way she is adorable in her pink outfit.  Don't worry if she cries, it is her way of trying to get control of her enviroment. But she will thank you later for giving her independence.

[deleted account]

I didn't like the letting them cry method because my daughter cried for 4 hours and then made herself throw up.  Read "Good Night, Sleep tight" by Kim West...it works and the baby isn't crying for hours on end.  Good luck!

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