HOW DO YOU HANDLE A CHILD WHO HASNT REACHED TERRIBLE TWO YET BUT ACTS LIKE SHE HAS?

Whitney - posted on 08/01/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

5

21

0

My one year old is a handful and she just will not listen and it takes such a toll on me . I dont want to yell at her or give her timeout because I love who she is, she an interesting character. I love it! But its hard to handle a child who when told not to do something,does nothing but screams, falls to the floor and doesnt listen until u get really loud with her.

Its hard and Im trying to cope, but living with other people that kind of undermines my authority on her and makes it hard. I need advice badly!

13 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

Mine was assertive long before 2 and she is still doing it at 2.5. I deal with it by repeating myself over and over again and once I feel I have repeated myself enough or that she knows she is doing wrong (trust me, she knows) a 2 min timeout. Time out should be as long as their age I have been informed. I have to constantly get up the take her away from what I don't want her doing. I have to constantly tell myself not to yell (I'm getting better at it) because she is learning and testing and it is an important stage in her life. It's not perfect, I still have really bad days where I watch the clock waiting for nap and bed time. lol. You can do you, you just have to tell yourself that you are the mother and in charge. She will cry and it will hurt but you have to be strong for them.

Rachael - posted on 08/04/2009

15

9

0

Oh, I feel your pain but what I can honestly tell you is that it will get better! Sounds like you may have one of our 'spirited' little gems! They are more active, more stubborn, more demanding, more of a character, pretty much 'more' of everything than every other child...My daughter turned 3 yrs. in April and she had her first full blown temper tantrum at about 11 months! What she needs is a lot of routine and stimulation...don't listen to anyone telling you that you're "letting" her act like that...if they don't have a spirited child, they won't understand. Our children can be the toughest to handle but just think what there spunk and determination will blossom into as they get older. Instead of worrying about discipline just make life fun and energetic for her and only worry about her actions if she's hurting herself or someone else. Use distraction as your number one technique and let her experience everything this world has to offer her...GOOD LUCK!

Cami - posted on 08/04/2009

127

26

10

I have an 17 month old, and she just started this also. I love how independent and how my little girl is so out spoken and lets you know how she feels. Those to me are great qualities in a person no matter what age. I try dealing with it in stages, i tell her calmly to stop, if she doesnt stop then i give her that mom look, and tone of voice, still doesnt stop then time out, still doesnt stop then i light spanking if needed, but i dont like to spank. Spanking is not all that bad, it doesnt leave marks, and the tantrum stops real quick. But you said you live with people who dont trust your parenting, well dont listen to them, my family treats me the same way just because im 19. Well i know what im doing, you probably do too. She is your child and you are her mom, you know whats best for her!!! Good Luck. Just try different tactics and see what works best for the oth of you.

Melissa - posted on 08/04/2009

10

4

0

The whole terrible 2's is not true it starts earlier then that. and that depends on your child.But you need to start your discipline rules now. Nothen to extreme you have to remember she is still little. I put my kids on there bed until they stopped, and then i would go in there and talk to them. Basically when they cry do not give them what they want. wait tell they have finished crying and let them try to tell you what they want. It in sures the good behavior over the bad. though i have to say it is easier said then done, because you always want to give into your little angle that is crying.

Lindsey - posted on 08/04/2009

30

16

4

Just ignore her when she does it.

My little one has hit 18mths and is screaming throwing herself on the floor. I just ignore her and walk away - she soon stops when she is getting no attention for it.

[deleted account]

Please, do NOT spank!! It doesn't work. What is does do is teach your child, 1) she should get mad when things don't go her way, 2) she should hit when she's mad, 3) she can't trust Mom to handle her appropriately.
Think about it this way, do YOU act better when you are made to feel worse? Do you trust someone who hits YOU?

My kids are at their worst when they are hungry, tired, or have had too few choices in what happens to them. Find ways to give your child as many choices as possible. This simple one has worked well for my daughter when she doesn't want to stop playing for a diaper change -- "Do you want to walk to the changing table or should I carry you?" Nearly always, she'll walk there, cheerfully!
And do your best to keep your daughter on a schedule for eating and sleeping so she doesn't get too tired or too hungry. My son has no resilience at all for when he's either tired or hungry -- an ounce of prevention is well worth staving off the pounds of fists and tears.
Good luck!

Anita - posted on 08/01/2009

349

40

37

u treat them the same way u would if they were two..the earlier they "act' up the easier to "correct" ..communication shouldnt be a problem at age 1..u'd be suprised how much they do understand...my lil acted up around that age..and u need to put rules and boundaries in place and keep repeating uself over and over...



Whitney u need to tell her no (choose ur battles though..for eg if shes hurting others or its dangerous)..u need to set rules and boundaries and if she does something wrong u need to give her timeout/scould/or take something she loves away ie favourite toy..in other words u need to punish her...

u need to take charge and be the parent...the earlier u nip it in the butt the better...

as for other pple undermining ur authority u need to sit them down and talk to them and let them know that u'r the mother and u will raise ur child the way u feel is right and would appreciate it if they butt out..no disrespect intended..

[deleted account]

She is acting this way because you are allowing it. You need to discipline her. No need for yelling, but either time out or a good old fashioned spanking will do the trick. She is your child and what you said about living with other people is no excuse because time out or spanking is not abuse if it is done in love and not in anger. YOU are her mother and YOU need to show your daughter that you love her and will take care of her. And the way to do that is to let her know that she is the child and you are the parent and she is to obey you, not the other way around. I'm sorry if I sound mean or cruel, but if you let her get away with it and don't do anything about it, it's your own fault.

[deleted account]

Yuo know the term is wrong...it usually starts around 18 months and it makes sense...coz this is the time where they are expressing wants and needs. I ahve three boys and for every one of them it started around 16-18 months. It's an important stage for them and they HAVE to go through it!!
As far others are concerned...I wouldn't be too concerned...it is your child and you need to do what works for YOU!... At the end of the day..ppl will be gone and you are also the one who will be getting the hugs and cuddles...Hang in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel...:-)

Kristen - posted on 08/01/2009

71

3

4

I really understand where you are coming from My daughter is about to be 15 months old in like a week and she is starting to go through the terrible 2s too and she does the same thing she is just getting worst now she just started part of it a few days ago and each day she comes up with something new that she isn't supposed to do and we live with someone too and they do the same thing and when i try to make her understand they pick her up and give her whatever she wants and im to the point im going to tell them off for everything oh by the way im also due do have another baby in about 2 weeks so my nerves are shot right now and im getting to the point where i can't handle too much but the only thing i try to do when she does it is take her to the room and put her in the play pen and let her throw her fit b/c no one will go in the room and get her and thats the only way i found that seems to work and some times that don't work either but she is to the point where she can just about climb out her play pen so now im afraid to even do that so if you come up with something let me know too and ill get back to you if i come up with anything sorry i couldn't help much but just wanted to let you know your not the only one with a 1 year old that is going threw the terrible 2 stage already good luck

Tanya - posted on 08/01/2009

5

14

2

Check into Love and Logic Parenting technique! Good Stuff! I live by it and it works!!!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms