How do you make friend's??

Mia - posted on 10/17/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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ASince i've had my children all my old friend's have just basically boyded me off!! I now find it hard to make friend's!! Any help??

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[deleted account]

I met my best friend shopping at the mall, I had my kid, she had hers and they looked a lot alike. We were comparing lotions and just hit it off, so we exchanged cards and set up a couple more shopping excursions. That was over 3 years ago and we and our sons are best friends now. You just have to talk to people, eventually you find people you click with and they will introduce you to more people like them.
I also talk to the other mom's in my Mommy Group, at the library story time, at Taekwondo, at Baseball, and I joined the adult book club at the library. I don't become great friends with every person I speak to, but I've found several great friends in the mix that I consider my closest friends.
I think friends are important, I listen to them when they are fighting with their hubbys and they listen to me, we shop together and go out for brunch--it's nice to have adult interaction based on something besides our kids (yet kids make a good common denominator since most parents have the same values and priorities for their time). I am one of the youngest people I know (28) but I have friends from 27 up into their 60's, so I think I have a very diverse group of friends, but I don't know many young moms b/c I just don't know where to meet them.

19 Comments

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Nikkole - posted on 04/15/2010

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hi i know how you feel, but all my friends have kids. my lil girl in the youngest out of all my friends kids. my lil girl is 6 months and the next one to her age is all most 3. so they go to the park all the time and never call me bc they say she cant play yet and i would just be sitting there

Chesnie - posted on 04/15/2010

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Well. All my friends have always had kids since i have known most of them and i was always the single, no kid friend who could go out at the drop of a hat! Now I have one I fit right in..I go to a moms class and i dont feel comfortable around any of the moms there. Only my friends..well do you have any other friends from past that have kids? those are the ones you can reconnect with easier. Good luck!

Erica - posted on 04/15/2010

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Mia try MOPs it's a wonderful organization google it and look in your area they meet once a month and they have child care so moms get mom time and kids get kids time!!! Also go to your library and see if they have baby story time I was quite a bit younger than other mom's in the group but after about 2-6 weeks of going I was starting to make friends now we have a nice support group and hang out for an hour after the story time and let our kids play in an unstructured setting as well! good luck it's always hard!

Christy - posted on 04/15/2010

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Depends, do you work? If not, you can join a mom's group locally to make new friends and get your kids to have play time. Also if you go to church, that's a good place. Become more outspoken, if you are in a kid friendly place and there is another mom there alone with her kids, strike up a conversation. I have made many great friends this way.

Brieley - posted on 04/15/2010

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hi. im a young mum aswell. and oll my friends r at their partying stages so ive pretty much lost contact with them. and i want to try a mum's group but too worried. i always get judged. i see the way people look at me when they see me with my son. hes 10months old and im 18. im finding it hard to meet people aswell. would love to chat. if u have msn mine is jr_hq_monaro_91@hotmail.com
and feel free to add me on here if u would like. would love to chat.

Brieley xx

Annette Choat - posted on 11/15/2009

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Hay Mia,
What can I say honey they can't have been really good friends if they have abandon you now that you have children. O am a mother of 4 boys and now that they are at school and preschool I have made alot of new friends threw my boys and alot of them are better friends than the ones I hade before have kids. so you can classs me as one of your friends and If you ever need to have a char send me a line and I'll be around sooner than later. You'll be a better person for It. stay confident in yourself and now that you are a beautiful person and you deserved to be loved just like everyone else. Its surpriseing how shallow people can be. Your new friend Annie xoxo

[deleted account]

I have found it depends on the age of your kids. When mine were babies it was hard to meet new people. As they got older, I made friends w/ moms in classes we took, or their friend's moms. As the kids got older, I got involved with their sports, clubs, and schools. I met a lot of great moms of the girls in my daughter's scout troop. Maybe if you can, you yourself get out and take a class of something that really interests you. Good luck.

[deleted account]

heyah mia!!im from the philippines and im a young mom of 2 girls,,i think gaining friends are not difficult as long as ur true to urself and with others,,if ya have that?people may see it to ya even w/o talkin coz true people can sense the good and nice things.

[deleted account]

hi mia,Im a young mum too and was going to start going to a young mums playgroup soon,i am a shy person at first so i scared that i wont make friends there...do u live in melbourne??if u like we can chat and then we can meet at a playgroup.so were not alone. ( :

Jane - posted on 10/18/2009

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Hiya Mia.
It is hard to make friends but you will :)
Luckily I have a lot of friends who I have known for years that have bubs so I have that support network, but I also joined a mothers group where you make new friends.
I know it can get lonely..especially when you are at home all day and its just you and bub, but then just come talk to all the lovely ladies on here, and we will cheer you up x x
Good luck hun x x

Mia - posted on 10/18/2009

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ty for all your replys! Just get so lonely at times...find it soo hard to meet ppl im really shy. ive added you on messenger diana x

Diana - posted on 10/17/2009

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Hi all, you are welcome to contact me anytime you'd like. I have a 16 year old and a 17 month old (14 months corrected) she was three months early. I live in Ontario Canada, so it's not like we could hook up and chat over a cup or two of tea (or a glass of wine, lol) but if you would like to vent, have questions or would like to share a milestone, feel free to email me. I am a stay at home mom now. I was a Legal Assistant in my previous life, but made the decision to stay home with our daughter Tanaea because I felt it was too soon to go back to work after mat leave (her adjusted age was 8 months and I truly don't want anyone else raising her). I have acquaintances, but very few friends. We all seem to get lost along the way. Anyhow the invite is out there. My email is dianajarvis222@hotmail.com.

[deleted account]

Join groups that involve other parents or mons like a mom & me class or a mommy & me library program if your have toddlers. If you have school age children, join the PTO or have your children join after school programs like girl scouts, karate or dance. Invite your children's frineds over with their moms for a playdate. It's a good way to meet other people.

Sandra - posted on 10/17/2009

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The best was is PLAY GROUP OR MOM GROUPS or even swimming lessons for infants In your area.

Chrissy - posted on 10/17/2009

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i lost most my mates as i was a 19 year old in a new town with a new born child and single i didnt make many mates and i still have the same prob as my child gos to school in an up market place so they look down there nose at me they are all in there late 30s with rich husbands i have just got hitched iv been to the mum groups and only made 1 frend the first time round now im on baby number 2 and am abit older its a tad easyer but not much i cant give u tips but just noing some1 else is in the same boat sometimes helps. if u find out how let me no please

Mia - posted on 10/17/2009

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I've tried mummy groups and going to the park but they always seem to avoid me as im a young mum and they are always a lot older. Lots of my old friends had children and they just seemed to get bored of me...

Robin - posted on 10/17/2009

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Sadly that's what happens when we have children and our friends don't. I've not had much luck making friends either, of course it would probably help if I got out of my house more. The best advice I can give is to find out if there are any mommy groups in your area, and participate in them and get to know other mom's in your area. Strike up a conversation with other Mom's if you go to the park, sadly with the society we live in today though most people are suspicious of anyone they don't know. I wish you the best of luck though dear, cuz I understand your struggle.

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