how do you mommies balance your life with nobody to talk to except your kids?

Goldie - posted on 06/24/2012 ( 28 moms have responded )

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Im a mommy of 2 a boy toddler and a baby girl. My toddler hasnt started talking yet and my baby girl is 8 months coming to 9.. im home all day becos basically i cant drive so i'll have to wait for my husband to come back from work then we can maybe go to the mall. so in the day ts just me and the kids..... its been almot 3 years and im quite surprised i havent gone crazy yet. is there anyone out there going thru the same as me? needing some moral support to carry on....

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Louise - posted on 06/24/2012

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Look for mum and tots group in your area. They are normally run by the church although they are not religious groups. Here you will find mums of the same age with children of all ages up to preschool. You are not alone in how you feel. It is an effort to go to these groups but once you have established friendships you will look forward to going and it will help your son to socialise too. Give it a go, it has got to be worth a go, anything is better than looking at the same four walls day in day out!

Mother Of Pearls - posted on 07/09/2012

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well i hear you its crazy but i guess we all have our moments lol lucky were still sane huh well i have a 2 yr old and a 2 an a half yr old grand daughter who i care for so i do know and can relate what ur feeling i stay home cook and clean laundry etc and yet at times depressed alone and frustrated and i dont go anywhere cause i have to carry with both but what i do sometimes i get the babies ready and take a power walk and they get there time and i get mine and i talk to them better yet lol i talk to myself and vent talk with god and before you know it im back home and feel a bit better hope it helps and trhat you feel better good luck hun

Jenifer - posted on 07/07/2012

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I completely understand! I went from working all the time and supporting my family to being a stay at home mom with 2 kids and a household to maintain. Freaked me out! My oldest, AJ, at the time was barely 3 and my youngest, Caleb, was 6 months old. Now AJ will be 5 in August and Caleb just turned 3. I cannot wait until AJ starts school! I love him to death, but he's driving me nuts with all the questions. My husband works an hour away, so he's up at 530am and gone by 6a. Then he doesn't get home until 6pm and all he wants is dinner on the table and to be left alone, by me and the kids. We only have 1 car, so I'm stuck at the house all day, which turns into all week. Then the hubby, doesn't want to go out on the weekends. It's hard and fustrating and all I have to talk to is my kids and the dogs. I learned to go on walks with the kids. A great investment for me was a double jogging stroller! If you can't afford one, then just get a single regular stroller and let the toddler "push" it with you. Getting out of the house and walking is great for you and the kids! When they get older, walking to a park for play time gets even better! I also talk to the neighbors. When the kids go down for a nap, I take the baby monitor and I go outside and water the garden. If one of the nighbors is out, I strike up a conversation. I also do vidoe chats with my family so the can see the kids. The kids love it and thinks it's great! I also demand a "me" day from my husband twice a month. One day for me to sleep in if I chose, or go get a pedicure, walk around the mall, hangout with friends, shopping for myself because shopping with kids is hard, or just be by myself and enjoy the quietness. It helps, I promise. I am also and online student. I logon to school and I get to talk to the instructor and other students and earn my degree in aviation safety at the same time. So when my youngest starts school, I'll be able to have a job during their school hours. Another thing I do to stay sane is, I have weekly family potlucks, where everyone comes over to share the week and chat. I hope this helps!

Michelle - posted on 06/24/2012

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I would start by asking your husband to teach you how to drive that will give the freedom to do many things with or without your children in tow. Also I think the moms and tots groups are a great idea. Keep a running conversation going with your son everyday name everything in sight eventually he should start getting words. Is he at least babbling if not then I would get his hearing checked immediately as that could be his problem.

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CAMARA - posted on 07/13/2012

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very easy i talks to my kids all the time y cuz i know all my secrets will stay with them and no matter wat they will always tell the truth in response to wat ever i ask them.... i have a 14yr old boy, 9yr old girl,3yr old boy ,2yr oldgirl and they always have somthing to say lol whether i like it or not.....

Amie - posted on 07/11/2012

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I'm going through the same thing, my boy is 18 months and I try to do as much as I can around the house whenever I have the energy to do laundry, clean, organize the house. I decorated my sons room when I got really bored and started looking at nursery rooms online but I couldn't afford the stuff so I just made it myself. Here are some things I'm doing or thinking of doing...
Set up a bike seat for my child or one of baby bike trailers so I can go biking.
Thinking of taking my child to the lake which is about an hour away, they got a beach there we both could play on and enjoy the scenery.
Morning jogs with a jogging stroller for my son to be in.
Look up healthy cooking ideas online, and looking for coupons on things I use everyday.
I'm thinking of starting up a hobby I can do around the house, sewing, knitting...
On days its just me and my son I usually turn on my music and he dances to it, he loves music and I even did scrap booking of his first year and thinking of setting up a photo session for him in the fall before he turns two. I try to brainstorm ideas I can do everyday but I try not to do too much in one day just focus on doing one thing like today ill go take the kids outside so they can play.
One of my friends even suggested that maybe I could do avon or something since I am a stay at home mom.

Michelle - posted on 07/11/2012

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Kristie: It's best not to ask about home based jobs in this community as we frown apon solicitations. You would be best checking out the work from home communities.

Kristie - posted on 07/10/2012

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i have not had a job since 2002, November. While my conversations with my children are quite funny sometimes, not what I need most days. I can only call and leave messages and what not for friends and family. I plan on getting a job sometime in August(that's when the kids go back to school and the youngest goes for first time), that depends on husband's work(he's 2nd shift). Anyone know of a good reliable at home job? As I don't have license(can drive tho) and probably never will have it.... Maybe if I keep on telling my friend she needs to move down here to KY she just might!!! You don't realise how much friends and other adults can mean when all you have to talk to is dogs and babies

Melinda - posted on 07/05/2012

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i get stir crazy alot lol. i usually distract myself with facebook chatting with friends or i call someone for support. planning activities like fishing and going to the park will give you a chance to meet other moms too.

Goldie - posted on 07/03/2012

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thanks to all of u with ur advices and solutions for me.. im really glad i joined this website. i feel so so much better!!!!

Nicola - posted on 07/01/2012

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I was in the same position, an 8 month old and pregnant with my second and I had just got my learners permit. 6 months later I had my probationary licence but no car and 2 babies. I joined a local play group that was close enough to walk to or had friend come to me so I could have daytime adult conversation. If you have a parent helpline wherever you are, call it and see if they have details of mothers or play groups you can join for that extra adult conversation or advice onkiddy, or maybe start your own with mums you know.I have been where you are so keep up the great work and maybe strike up a conversation with a mum at your local play ground in the meantime. My local library also has kids sessions where parents ad careers go.

Emma - posted on 06/28/2012

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weve lived abroad before and ive found that there are resources if you really look. check out expat forums and the like, i am sure there are other mothers in the area who would love playmates for their children and of course another mom to talk to.

JoLee - posted on 06/27/2012

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Post a reply!my neighbors are all sahm. We do crafts, playdates, shopping, lunch etc. We havr fun.

Marissa - posted on 06/27/2012

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Hi Goldie, I was in the same position as you a year ago. Almost went crazy......LOL. Where in Malaysia are you?

Goldie - posted on 06/24/2012

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jaquada : hahah!! yeah! husbands tend to not understand any of these feelings! *shakes head* yeah i actually find myself talking to my kids tho they r still so young nd they tend to ignore me most of the time hahahahah

Goldie - posted on 06/24/2012

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amber : its sad that there are no parks nearby where im staying and there are no community centers around so that'll explain why im so lost.. haha but thanks alot..... i feel much much better that at least now that i can talk with so many moms here!! hopefully we can relocate back to singapore soon.......

JAQUADA - posted on 06/24/2012

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I GO THROUGH THE SAME THING AS I AM ALSO A SINGLE MOM OF THREE BOYS. SOMEDAYS I TELL FEEL LIKE MY HUSBAND DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THIS AT ALL
BUT MAYBE GOING TO THE MALL BY YOURSELF WHEN HUBBY GETS HOME OR GOING TO GET YOUR NAILS/HAIR ANYTHING TO TAKE THAT TIME BY YOURSELF REMEMBER
IF YOU LOOK GOOD THEN YOU FEEL GOOD AND YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE IN THIS SITUATION. SOMETIMES I RATHER TALK TO MY KIDS THEN MY FRIENDS LOL..

Ana - posted on 06/24/2012

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I'm sorry..Well, lets see, churches usually have things for kids and families to do together, you could meet people there, or, you could go to your sons school and ask his teachers or other parents what they do..if you have a neighborhood park, there are plenty of moms in the park during the day, you may meet a neighbor...and if there is a community center, there may be classes for mommie and me type things there..but if none of that works out, you will always have us moms to talk to until something comes through... :)

User - posted on 06/24/2012

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hey amber ,
yeah m sure too but u see i have just relocated to malaysia becos of my husband, so im literally
'alone" here. no friends no family....... hence im so ........ plah~ and i've tried googling and asking around if there r such groups but apparently.. they look at me like im some crazy person lol

Ana - posted on 06/24/2012

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Ha! Yes, I go a little stir crazy being home all day. My daughter is 2 and I'm pregnant with another. She was in daycare when I was working full time and in school full time, but now that I am not she's with me, and I like her here with me, but I still need my breaks to do women adult things. She gets to do kid things all the time..I have someone to talk to every now and then, another stay at home mom, my cousin, so this really helps me, we help eachother.. but you do need someone to count on...I think starting your own group is amazing..and fun.. i'm sure there are more women out there just like you..

Goldie - posted on 06/24/2012

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hi there! thanks for all ur comments on ths issue!! i feel so so much better knowng am not alone!! hahah yep i actually have looked and asked around but apparently its not much of a culture for ppl in malaysia to actually get ttogether to have mommy sessions with their kids.... thats y its a real problem.. however, i have actually sent my son to a preschool for him to make friends there. but becos he was my first born and he isnt really used to having other kids to play with cos there isnt any other children at the neighbours or family, so he is not exactly mixing around with the kids in school yet.... sigh...... its really stressful.. i love my kids, i do! but i miss my friends and life as well......

Lisamarie - posted on 06/24/2012

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I know the feeling, it's been 5 and a half years for me!
In England we have mummy and baby groups which are free but ask for a donation of £1 for each session. While my daughter is at school I take my toddler son along, we do 1-2 hour sessions, 5 days a week. He gets to play with other children and lots of toys while mummy gets adult conversation for a while. They hold lots of different sessions too ranging from singing and dancing to cooking and messy play.
Do you have anything like that near you? If not, why not set up your own? Or find local mums to have play dates with?
Good luck :-)

Kim - posted on 06/24/2012

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I completely understand! I am at home with my almost 9 month old pretty much everyday, all day. When I do get out it's maybe to a store or appointment (pregnant with #2) or to my mother's for a short while. It def. can feel like you are going to go crazy sometimes!

Krista - posted on 06/24/2012

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i have this same issue.. i have a 2yr old girl and a boy who is 10months younger.. its really hard to go anywhere with them because they just dont cooperate.. they cant sit still.. the only place i can take them is one of the parks on base thats gated in (otherwise they will run away!) lol thats where we meet daddy for lunch.. there is usually no one there wen we go, but i would suggest go to a park to meet other moms..

Goldie - posted on 06/24/2012

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hi michelle, yeah i thot so too by earning how to drive but then i'll have to have the kids in the car together as well cos nobody is gonna watch them. yep he is babbling in his own language and we checked there is nothing wrong with his hearing at all. thats y we really have no idea why is he refusing to talk........ but he just started saying "i dont want" about 3 weeks ago so at least thats something.

Goldie - posted on 06/24/2012

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thank u :)

unfortunately im living in malaysia and i have checked around, its not really a culture for ppl around here to actually have mom n tots group...... however, thank you for your advice!!!!! least i know am not alone :)

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