How do you mothers of 2 or more AND a newborn maintain sanity?!?!

Cortni Hogan - posted on 06/02/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Now thatmy newborn is here my 4 & 6yr olds are running ALL over me and treating me as if my rules no longer apply...i know its alot to do with having a new sibling but where i am a stay @ home mom and im home alot here lately its driving me insane! All the fighting screaming "he said she said" bs and EVERYTIME i go in privacy to either BF or take a bath i have to hurry bc one of them "need"me SO bad...ughhh..im a strong woman and mommie butplease someone help me out with ideas before i go crazy! fyi-i dont and never have enforced spanking so even though most would say to do so...i refuse to...thanks! *cort*

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[deleted account]

Have you tried to reward them with "special" treats after outings? Also there are other alternatives to spanking, such as no tv time, losing toys for a certain amount of time, time outs ( I do 1 min for there ages)? I also have a sticker chart and rules posted on my walls, and when they are good, I have them put a sticker on there chart. When they are misbehaving I make them cross one out with a black marker, also have them read the rule list out load. At the end of the week I then let them choose a special treat, extra dessert, a movie, staying up later. I also have a schedule posted and at certain times I have added a story time, when they pick 1 book each, coloring time, outside time, (strollers are great, lol) don't mean this to sound bad, but establishing that YOU are the "dominate one" is key!!!! You can do this other then physical discipline, by letting them throw a fight and not giving in. (easier said then done, I know) and it will take time, but the reward is worth it. They need to know that you won't put up with there tantrums.
Trust me I have my days, but I have learned patient and redirection (another great tool!!!!!!) I used to think my kids would hate me because of what I did, but they learned that respect and the fact that there is structure in there life, is better for them and you as well.
I am always here if you want to vent and remember YOU are the parent, NOT THEM.

[deleted account]

Hello, I have 5 children ( 3 are my husbands 15, 7, and 4 every other Thursday - Monday) 2 of my own (7, and 3) and a new born (both of ours), also I have epilepsy and a husband that thinks I am a maid, landscaper, and a babysitter. He will just up and leave without saying anything and leaves me with all the kids. I have learned that I need time for me!!!! I refused to ask for help from ANYONE, but I have recently found if I have an in-law or a friend I trust I call on them to watch the kids for even an hour so I can regain my sanity. I also take them to parks and on walks and that keeps them busy while I read a book or just sit and watch them play. I also involve them with baby as much as I can so they don't like baby is all that matters. I also agree spanking is not okay.
I hope this was helpful, and Good luck.

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Elle - posted on 06/18/2013

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I'm not sure if you have your children on a schedule. I did not. My kids were on my schedule. I saw some friends of mine rush home from church in a tizzy bc their baby needed to go down for a nap before he got grumpy.I did not want to be a frazzled mom like that. I raised mine to be able to fall asleep where ever we were....whether in the car, at someone elses home, in a noisy place or on the floor, just where ever! My home was very baby proof so I could nap on the sofa when my littles were awake playing in the room. I must say, since I enjoyed raising my babies, I must have done something right. Mine were very well behaved and I'm very close to my girls even now :)

Elle - posted on 06/18/2013

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It's never too late to try new things, new schedules, new rules. We mommas have to do what works best for raising our babies. Keep trying. Stay strong and in control. They need you to be BOSS even tho they want their own way and throw tantrums. You can do it !!

Cortni Hogan - posted on 06/07/2013

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thank u Elle-and yes.5 lil ones IS a chalenge im sure! So i admire u for that..i raised -well helped raise-my cousin with down syndrome and yes i know cerebal palsy is completly different bt what im saying is i know that had to make it even MORE of a challenge in which i also admire u for that...as far as your ideas like sitting in the corner and taking a certain s.thing away to discipline..omg trust me.I HAVE and this is why iv felt iv list all co.trol and i agree with the known fact that i have let my kids walj all iver me simy bc i couldnt handle a situation and gave in to them...i admit that..so i geusa it comes doen to this:How do I change things in my househild now and show them im NOT giving in anymore without actuakky having to soank and is it to late? Its so tiring now bc im up and down all night with my newborn breastfeeding and by the time he goes to sleep its early am and my other kids are up and ready to gi and im just ready for bed...lol...so-is it to late to change all routine at this point?

Elle - posted on 06/07/2013

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When my friends were tired and discouraged and challenged by their little ones, I was enjoying mine !! I had 5 baby girls in seven years. That's right. And my oldest had cerebral palsy. She couldn't walk, talk, sit, or crawl, and was tube fed. Anyways, my little ones were very well behaved and I taught them very early on about "immediate obedience". I know, big words for little itty bitty ones. I wanted to raise my children to where others enjoyed them as well as myself.

Discipline has to be consistent. If you choose not to spank then you need to be firm and consistent with your methods. If youre not, then these precious little ones will push your buttons till you explode.

I truly enjoyed my girls, and still do!! They are not perfect, but how they respond to correction and discipline is whats key. Having a sense of humor is important too. I remember lots of laughing as well as lots of disciplining. Theres got to be a balance.

I've sent mine to sit in the corner ....or sent to their rooms....one child absolutely hated to be separated from the fam so that form of discipline worked for her.

When there was direct defiance, disrespect, and hitting, then thats when the light wooden spoon was used on their tush. One or two swats was all it took. Enough for a sting....and before that kind of discipline was used, a conversation as to why they were being disciplined was discussed...then big hugs and kisses were given.

I was abused as a young child...I know the difference between spanking and abuse.

Hope you find a strategy and method that will work for you so your little ones aren't running all over you. Hang in there.

Cortni Hogan - posted on 06/06/2013

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p.s...im glad u seem to be working it out better for yourself bc omg i just couldnt do what you are with those age kids especially a teen! So props to you mama and again-THANK YOU for your help :-) also congrats on your youngest lil one!!!

Cortni Hogan - posted on 06/06/2013

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Wow Mindy..you most certaintly have alot on ur plate and i feel like i should give ya a medal dealing with all that and not being in a crazy house!...lol...but really-first i wanna thank u bc yes u have helped even by just responding to let me know im not alone and not the only one out there that feels this way...but iv got a ? for ya...u said sometimes u goto the park...but when i do that they seem to act out even MORE bc they know i wont spank them and think others at the park will "feel sorry" for them..if that makes sense to u...but yea iv done all that and public places for is just mean more trouble and i hate it bc its now summer break and i want them to jave funbut i cant do it alone...my fiance btw works outta town all week 5-6 days a week so we only see him on the weekends IF were lucky.His father and he own thier own buisness and we are looking for a home closer to that area but for now im doing it aline and like yours-he to thinks i can be SUPER MOM by taking the role of every position there is to be taken..lol...

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