How do you potty train a 3 year old that just refuses?

Sandra - posted on 02/19/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My little girl is 3 years old. But as soon as her little brother was born (2 months old) she just refuses to be potty trained. She says that she is the baby. What should i do.......????

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Kerri - posted on 02/22/2010

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i found that my son automatically wanted to go when he started pre school,because he could see all the other children going he wanted to copy,hes been going to pre school for 3 months now and goes to the toilet by himself,try not to worry,they will do it in there own time,hope this is of some help x

Amanda - posted on 02/21/2010

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make her very important in being mommies helper with the baby, you and she should think of the baby as our baby and that you couldnt do anything with out her help(even if it makes everything go twice as slow as it should) and tell her going potty is just was grown ups to and that being a big girl helper is almost the same as a grownup also having a prize after works wonders even if its a sticker or a tik tac mint every time she goes! and make sure to tell her she gets the prize because she is a big girl that goes potty on the toilet and that her baby cant have it because he goes potty in his diaper bacause thats what babys do.

Elaine - posted on 02/21/2010

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make up a little rward chart with her - draw pictures and colour them in make ten steps on it and explain to her that each time she uses the potty she gets a sticker or smiley face- when she wets her pants take a sticker or smiley face off- make her watch you do it, put a picture of a special sweet at the end, so she can see that after she has done good the ten times she will get that swwet. as long as your persistant and patient it will work, keep reminding her off the chart during the day. it wont take long once she knows she will get rewarded.
as for the being the baby thing- my daughter went through this and she said she was the baby- so we treated her like one- she couldnt have crisps sweets etc as she was a baby she couldnt have fizzy, stay up later etc- she soon learnt being a baby wasnt fun. hope this helps.

User - posted on 02/20/2010

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My son is 3 and we have a four month old son. I would really big on her being the Big Girl not the baby. Thats what we say to our son he is a big boy and His brother is the baby. Big boys like Dady and we name some really important big guys like batman and so use the potty. Also works on whining too. I would let her use a diaper or pull up exspecially if she was pottied trained before your little one arrived. I would leave her naked or put undies on her and let her run around like that. My son had to start mnaked and then moved to undies because he kept thinking he had a diaper on. I hope some of this helps

Cindy - posted on 02/20/2010

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I agree that it's really hard to have a new baby around when you are so used to being the center of attention. The more you push the more she will push back and it won't work. You need to not let her know that you are trying to potty train her and make it more about her trying to help you with the new baby. Tell her if she can show the baby how she uses the potty that she will be teaching him what to do when he is ready which in turn helps you. She needs to feel a part of things. Right now she just knows that he is getting a lot of the attention that she had all to herself. Instead of telling her what you want her to do, let her be part of the planning and decision making. Give her options and let her choose what reward she might receive if she is successful. A special time for just the two of you, lunch out with you, something you can do together.
My first was also a daughter and she was very jealous of her brother. I had to handle her this way her entire childhood! As long as she felt she had number one status she was successful in everything.

Melissa - posted on 02/19/2010

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Hello,
My daughter was a breeze but my son forget it, he was almost 3 and I was getting frustrated, tried everything, finally the only thing that worked was his father made it a game of who is gonna win! my son would run in their and use the potty before Dad, never had an issue since.

Julie - posted on 02/19/2010

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It is quite normal after a sibling is born for a child to want to stay the baby. Her whole life has been transformed over the past few months and there are only a few things she can control. She is used to not only being the baby but also the center of attention. Try finding ways outside of potty training that make being the "big girl" really special. See if you can find things for her to do that her baby brother can't. This works even better if you can manage to do them with her (maybe while brother naps). This way the "growing up" part of her life is not only focused on potty training but also on things that she really wants to be a part of. Then add the potty training in and let her know that those special things she enjoys doing as a "big girl" require her to grow up in other areas like potty training.

Katy - posted on 02/19/2010

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My daughter took forever! No matter how hard I tried she would not do it. She is also very strong willed. I spoke with her doctor and he told me to not push it she would do it on her own time. Sure enough one morning she woke up and decided no more diapers. She trained herself with no accidents and slept through the night with no problems. I must say though I thought the doctor was nuts... I am a believer now though! So if rewards or "potty boot camp" (as my husband calls it) fail you may want to try this out.

Jill - posted on 02/19/2010

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This is what I did for my son who is 3 also...."after the week was up if he went on his own all week long he got a toy or some sort of treat". It has worked wonderfully! Good luck!

Cheryl - posted on 02/19/2010

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There is also a cool foaming soap the kids love....When she successfully uses the potty then she can use it!

Michaela - posted on 02/19/2010

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have you tried the go bottomless for a week method yet? I've also heard letting them sit in there wet pants for a few hours (it may get on your couch but it's easily cleanable and at the end of the week the potty training is over!) I used chocolate with my daughter---M&M's actually. She'd only get an M&M if she successfully told me she had to be and then actually went on the potty only and flushed herself and washed her hands. Then after the week was up if she went on her own all week long she got a little toy. Good luck!

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