How do you show your husbands how much you do?

User - posted on 07/18/2011 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My husband is a great man. We are young parents and he works hard enough to allow us to live on our own in a decent apartment, feed us with out a problem, and to allow me to stay home. But, he comes home and lounges around and when I ask him to take the baby for a bit to go shower or eat or something he blows up about how I didn't work all day and that when he comes home he just wants to rest.

All of you Stay at Home Moms know that, that is work. I, personally, take care of the baby all day, clean the house when he's napping, cook dinner, take the dogs for a walk, buy groceries, talk to the utility companies, do the dishes every night, make sure he has cold water in his water bottle in the morning (his car has no a/c and we live in texas) and set up his coffee. How do I show him that being a sahm IS a full time job and I deserve a break too?

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Sheena - posted on 07/20/2011

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What I do is make a mommy agenda list, for my dailt duties. I put every single thing I do on that list, for feedings to bathing ect and I post it on the refrigerator. I then check off everything I do on a daily basis as I do it. Even the water bottle thing. Post it where he will see it everyday. It will help him to relize the a mommies job is 24 7.

[deleted account]

I simply told my husband i was leaving and would be back in a few hours. 2 hours later he called me basically begging me to come home. He also was laid off last summer and spent the summer with me VERY sick with morning sickness and unable to do much. It was forced upon him to take charge.

leave him in charge for a few hours one day. leave when the baby is asleep so he thinks he has it all down, but make sure you dont come home till the baby has been up for a bit!

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Carmina - posted on 07/20/2011

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i have tried and tried and tried to show him how much we do 'at home' but it has never gotten through his head, i have given up now i dont even argue i actually say 'i dont go to work you do' just to keep him happy. i dont think they will ever fully understand!

Stifler's - posted on 07/20/2011

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yeah one i came home and all the lights were off, dad, damian and my brother were watching tv, no dinner was on, logan was roaming the house left to his own devices. i was NOT happy Jan.

Erica - posted on 07/20/2011

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That sounds exactly like my husband! I have tried leaving him in charge while I went out and got a pedicure. I came home to a huge mess, trash that stunk, a half naked toddler with a diaper so full it was falling down, and my husband hadn't given our child a snack or even a sippy, my husband was asleep on the couch and my son was getting into the baby vapor rub!









I have been too afraid to ever leave my husband in charge again!

Tamara - posted on 07/20/2011

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I left for the day putting him in 'charge' of everything, I explained that he needs to have done everything that he expects me to and take care of the kids. It was a big view of what I do everyday.

That was about 9 years ago and now he helps when he can, and makes it so I get a few hours out of the house especially during the summer.

[deleted account]

Make a very detailed list about what you did all day. Look up how much you'd get paid/hour to do those jobs. Then give him the invoice.

Stifler's - posted on 07/18/2011

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I have children to look after and he isn't one of them. If my floors aren't vacuumed and he has a problem with it he gets out the vacuum and cleans them. If our baby needs feeding and I'm attending to our other kid, he feeds her. I cannot understand the mentality of their days off. We don't get a day off from being parents and neither do they.

[deleted account]

Emma, Thats how our house is. My husband has always been helpful, but never understood when i would say the girls had melt downs and fighting, and what i delt with all day with our daughters SPD. now that he understands I dont feel asl bad if I dont get to my to-do list.

Stifler's - posted on 07/18/2011

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When my husband is home, we're BOTH responsible for the upkeep of our home and looking after our children. He goes to work, I stay home and work. When he's home it's both our job.

Brianna - posted on 07/18/2011

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thats a good question and would like to hear the answers for it to lol

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