How do you talk to your hubby whos not 100% on having baby#2 and your ready NOW

Sarah - posted on 03/27/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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My mommy clock has been ticking away and I have always wanted 2 children and my husban is an only i have a sister. My mommy clock is TICKING REALLY LOUDLY and Im ready to add to the family. My hubby and I have gown back and forth with this topic. He will be ok with it and then the ext dat he a no go. I know he would be happy if we did have another child. Im not going to have an oppps. I want us to try for another child together. How do I talk to him about it he knows i want 2 kids. Hes vary worried about the money aspect of it all. I understand that but where theres a will theres a way. PLEASE HELP. My daughter is 4 and we need to give her a sibling how do i talk to him

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Katie - posted on 04/01/2010

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I am currently having the same issue. my husband and i only have 1 child together and he is 14 months. i have been talking about having another at the end of this year, but my husband just seems so strange about it. so i am also trying to break this same issue in my home!!

Crystal - posted on 04/01/2010

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i am not in the same position of u u need to wait until ur hubby is ready if not it can cause problems my daughter just turned 3 yesterday and i do not want another child i have no desire for another child my hubby is in the army i would rasie it just like i raise my daughter alone and plus money i told him when she is abt 6 or 7 we can talk abt it again but i dont think i will change my mind i am happy with having 1 child

Chelle - posted on 03/29/2010

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Hi Sarah. Yes it can be frustrating when you are both not on the same page. I would say to him, "listen i understand you have fears about money and not being able to provide for your family, but the truth is, if we waited until we felt finances were perfect, we would always be waiting. There is always another bill to pay etc. I feel that money is perhaps an excuse and that there is a bigger fear underlying your hesitance. Although i am excited about having another baby i am not without my worries and fears too but again no one can be completely ready to have another child, it is just something you learn along the way. We have a number of things already covered as we can use hand me downs from our first child and realistically a baby in its first couple of months of life doesnt cost very much at all, especially if i am breast feeding. I understand you may not see the need to have another one as you are an only child and perhaps you did not mind that, but i have always had a sibling and i want to be able to offer the same to our little one"



Something along those lines anyways- good luck and let me know how it goes :-) I am just recently pregnant with our second one :)

Sarah - posted on 03/29/2010

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Thats a good idea to talk about it and set a deadline. Thanks. My hubby and his cus's Hubby work together and I talk with them about what to do they have 2 kids there son Anthony and my daughter Amy are 6 weeks appart in age and there daughter Ava is 2
(i watch her on tue and thur) they would go for another if thay wanted to after 2 its no biggie. He isd going to talk to mike my hubby about this as well bc some of the things my hubby is worried about he understands everything but make the jump. So i will keep you guys posted and please le me know your oppinions on my need for help Thanks

Carolee - posted on 03/28/2010

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My husband and I set a deadline. I gave him six months to think about it and get ready for it. We talked almost daily about the fears he had about adding to the family. It was mainly the money issue that was keeping him at bay. Both his own father and I told him that if you wait until you're completely ready, you won't EVER have kids! We waited for my husband to be emotionally open to the idea, then got pregnant right when he decided that he was not opposed to the idea of another kid (we were planning on trying for a few months, but it happened right away). Everything will work itself out.

Kassi - posted on 03/28/2010

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i would just say honey i know we have talked about this before but i have thought about it and we have all the stuff from our first baby that we could use so we wouldnt have to buy it all again. so this would make it easier on us and not have to spend as much money!

if that doesnt work then im sorry im outta ideas. haha good luck!

Sarah - posted on 03/28/2010

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Money is always his worrie yes you do need money to raise a family but we have everything from our 1st child and handme downs from the family. all we would pay for for now would be formula and dipper. Im a stay at home mom again since iv been layed of almost 6months ago. Id rather have another child now and be a stay at home mom and go back to work when the baby (if we have another) gos to kindergarden or before

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Having money does help. But you will always find a way.. Besides, having babies is FAR greater than having money.. :-)

Sarah - posted on 03/28/2010

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Thanks Kassi. We have had the talk but he is so worried about providing for 2 kids with cars and ins and college and all that stuff. Its so far away we start saving now.... Where theres a will theres away. I just don't know how to start to talk again everytime we have I just ask him why he doesn't want another and he says the world he messed up and i don't want to add another child and all the money problems that we will have. No one is $$ ready for kids at all. How do I back my self up and start the talk.

Kassi - posted on 03/27/2010

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i was in the same situation for a little bit. i just sat him down and told him why i wanted another one and then i let him explain why he wasnt sure and we both desided that it was silly not to go ahead and start trying! hope that helps u! good luck!

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