How do you tell your hubby ... ??

Crystal - posted on 11/16/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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How do you tell your hubby that you no longer want anything to do with his Mom? My MIL has always caused tension in my marriage. Whether its her asking us for money (and we support 4 on 1 income), asking my hubby to mow her lawn or fix this or that at her house, or coming up with every excuse in the book to why she can't come to visit. I've been married for almost 10 years and have had to deal with her drama since day one, and when my kids were born (ages 6 & 4) she was so happy, or seemed so. Anyhow, so after years of her BS, I've come to the realization that I'm out of patience for it, and just don't want the stress in MY life any longer. My true biggest complaint about her is that she doesn't put our kids as a priority in her life. She's a work-a-holic and complains about her job all the time. She lives 45 min away from us and the kids see her maybe twice a month. She calls my hubby a few times a week to bitch about her job, and hardly asks to speak to the kids. She has to come to our house because we are not allowed there so her landlord doesn't know she has a dog. Which brings me to the newest complaint and last straw.... My hubby is suppose to help his sister move out of her Mom's house on Friday. His mom is taking the day off (in her words) to watch the dog, to make sure he doesn't get out while they're moving things out of the house. (they have a kennel by the way) This infuriated me because when we asked her if she could take a few hours off work to watch our son while our daughter was in the hospital for testing, she flat out refused us! She said, "I can't take time off, you know that!" I'm just so beyond angry and am wanting to say enough is enough. My kids deserve better. I no longer feel like I can be comfortable around her acting like I like her and every thing is ok. So ... how do I break it to my hubby without causing friction in our household? It doesn't so much affect us daily if I dont want to see her since like I said before she only visits a couple times a month, if that, but with the Holidays coming up, I just don't want to be around her. Any advice?

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Medic - posted on 11/16/2011

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Just tell him you want to spend time with JUST your family and you have chosen not to subject yourself to unwanted stress. Just calmly explain how you feel and how you hurt for your children.

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Crystal - posted on 11/17/2011

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Veronica -I've had a fall out with my sister-in-law already, and its taken months for her to be comfortable to even return to my house to see my kids. I don't think I can go off on her like you said out of respect for my hubby, and I think if roles were reverse and he were to ever go off on my mom or dad, I would flip out on him. I just think it's his respnosiblity to mediate in a way. I dunno. I'm just at a loss, I've just had it with his family entirely. I wish we could all just move away, it would make things somewhat easier because they wouldn't be close enough to visit. ;) Thanks for the support ladies!

Veronica - posted on 11/17/2011

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I had the same problems until one day I went off on my MIL really bad! I held everything in for so long out of respect for my husband. Im not proud of what I did but after that she had so much respect for me! Sometimes it takes a fallout to get back on track.

Stifler's - posted on 11/16/2011

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are our mother in laws the same person? just tell him that you want to stay home and be with your immediate family and not her as she annoys you.

Tamara - posted on 11/16/2011

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Open honest straight forward communication is the key to any relationship. do beating around the bush or sugar coating it. Makes it easier and for a healthier relationship

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