how long after having your baby did you & your partner wait to have sex again?

Amanda - posted on 04/28/2010 ( 48 moms have responded )

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My fiance is so excited for April 30th to come because that is the 6 week marker & the okay to start having sex again but I'm not sure. There's still pressure from the rip & stitch. I'm going to ask my doc about it on April 30th but would still like some insight from some veteran mothers.

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Tanya - posted on 04/28/2010

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I had a c-section and started again about a week later. My doc said that was fine as long as I wasn't in pain. I think you should listen to you body. If you feel like everything is fine then go for it.

Sara - posted on 05/03/2010

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I had a c-section and we barely waited 2 weeks, even though the doc said 6. He was getting ready to leave for a month for more army training and he was going to wait, but I was ready. For some reason, my next drive was crazy when we got home. ;) It was a little tender on my stomach and we had to go slow, but otherwise everything was ok. Like other people have said, I think it's up to you and just ok easy at first.

Sherre - posted on 05/01/2010

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I had a c-section so I was in pain and was scared to move for fear my incision would rip open but I waited exactly 6wks AFTER my docs appt and it was good.

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Sarah - posted on 05/11/2010

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I had a c-section with both of my daughters so we just waited until I had stopped bleeding it was about a week with my first and two weeks with my second daughter.

Kelli - posted on 05/10/2010

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I waited 5 weeks after my c-section, it didn't hurt too bad, however I didn't throughly enjoy sex again until about 6 months later (ACK! I know how bad that sounds!!!! I'm sorry) But regardless, if it hurts DON'T DO IT! And if your fiance has a problem with it, tell him to run out to the nearest adult bookstore and buy a gadget doojabby to help him out, b/c you're still out of commission. LOL If it feels fine, give it a shot, but don't be afraid to say stop if you need to. My husband was very supportive, sad, but supportive after we had our son, you're body just put in a lot of work, it needs the rest. Good luck girl!

Gina - posted on 05/10/2010

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After our first,we waited a full 8weeks,more him then me. He saw our daughter come out and almost fainted in the delivery room. So when we got the dr.s OK he was more hesitent then I was..." I saw what came out of you! I'm not sure i wanna go there just yet." Come to find out,he just didn't want to hurt me (how sweet) After that first time, he was fine.
With our 2nd, he kept asking me is it time yet? when's our green light?

Jessica - posted on 05/04/2010

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I started 4 weeks after I had my daughter naturally. I tore a little bit when I delivered and I was in worse pain when I sat to use the bathroom than pushing my daughter out. When we had sex I tore my stitch and I had some blood from the tear but it ripped and healed and it never hurt to sit on the toliet again. Go with your body and what your doc says. Best of luck.

Susan - posted on 05/04/2010

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I had a natural birth with both my sons and was back at it day 7 with my first and day 6 with my second as i healed really quickly but it is all about you feeling ready you dont want it to be a chore it supposed to be fun x

Amanda - posted on 05/03/2010

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i had a C section on April 6th. I felt that I was ready for sex 3 weeks after. I just couldn't wait, I was so excited to spend that intimate time again after such a long break...after all, it's hard to go about it when you look like a beachball, right?! It did hurt a little, and I did bleed a little, too, but we took it slow and honestly there was more kissing and cuddling than usual (bonus for me!!)

Nanette - posted on 05/03/2010

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I say when you feel comfortable with having sex. If he can't wait, then he is not being considerate of your feelings.

Irma - posted on 05/03/2010

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its was about 5 weeks after my daugher was born..its soo up to u and when ur ready..jus let ur partner kno what ur thinking im sure he'll understand..

Latasha - posted on 05/03/2010

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i had a natural birth no rips or anything for our son we waited about 4weeks bout the middle of the week and we had no problems no bleeding no aching or anything! just do it at your convience!

Karla - posted on 05/02/2010

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My boyfriend would count down the weeks until we could have sex,i had a normal birth but i was cramped up for weeks after whilst my body was getting back to norma.I was also scared that it world hurt or i would get pregnant again,i think we did it about 7 to 8 weeks after having my daughter,if u feel scared just tell your partner so he knows to do it soft

Alice - posted on 05/02/2010

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i waited till i felt comfortable and when i when to the toilet it didnt hurt any more u dont want to put urself through the pain!!

Cindy - posted on 05/01/2010

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It's gonna hurt, but it's safe. :) I don't know any other way to put it than honestly :) But it gets better, and better. Be careful, and communicate with him. Tell him you're nervous.
Have fun!

Sarah - posted on 05/01/2010

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i had sex at 4 weeks doc said 4 to six weeks and for along time my husband was scared to finish because he didnt want more kids lol he still scared of kids if he has any dreams of me prego he wont touch me for days lol.it really is up to u and when you feel that u r ready

[deleted account]

ok here is my story we waited till after we got the green light from our dr .( our son was a fertlity treatment baby) and the dr said if we wanted to have any others we would have to come back for more treatments. So we were some what careful not always plus i was breast feeding so you hear that you dont ovulate during breastfeeding well. not even 11 weeks later we were back and pregnant. my son was born nov 12th 2008 and my daughter was born sept 17th 2009 so after my daughter was born i have not really been in the mood plus i had a tubal just to be safe cause well we have 4 kids ages 9 boy girl 9 boy 17 months and girl 7 months never want to gamble like that again

Melanie - posted on 05/01/2010

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Think it depends really on the birth and how you feel.With my 1st we didnt try till 3mths!!i know but i had a hang up about it and i didnt have stitches!!my 1st had me up alot at night so also tried!!My 2nd was once i was cleared!!i had stitches from 2 degree tear!!odd really!!!but i felt ready and he slept better at night so wasnt so tired.

Crystal - posted on 05/01/2010

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A c-section you recover from sooner. We tried to let her come out vaginally, but she got stuck, lol, so we had a c-section, but because of her being in the birth canal for so long, I had to recover from both. I felt back to normal at 5 weeks, so for us we tried at 5 weeks, and it hurt too badly, and then we tried again at 6 weeks, and it still hurt but not as bad. I just say you know your body better than anyone else, so if you are ready, then I say go for it, but if your not then don't. your doctor will also tell you if you want extra time to wait a little longer.

Amanda - posted on 05/01/2010

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thanks for all your advice!! I had a very easy birth...only pushed 25 minutes and only needed one stitch..yet still painful after. I went w/ my body and definitely took it slow but once i lost grip of my fear all was perfect & there is no more sexual frustration ha ha. Again thanks for all the advice!! :) and Happy Mother's Day!!

Carmen - posted on 05/01/2010

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there is no wrong or right time ive had 3 kids my first i didnt have stitches we were together in less than 2weeks my second child scratched me and i had 1 stitch and waited about 4 weeks my last daughter i had no stitches but found the birth a lot more stressful i had pressure pains for weeks it took me about 3 months ,its more about what ur body is tellin you not what your partner or doctor thinks dont rush if your not ready ,im sure ur partner will understand

Elizabeth - posted on 05/01/2010

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Me and my husband tried having sex at the 6 week point and had to stop because it hurt so bad, i had an episiotomy so it made it worse and when we did go on to having sex it was still painful sometimes for about a month. Just listen to your body,

*Lisa* - posted on 04/30/2010

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We tried at the 8 week mark but it was horribly painful (I had heaps of stitches). I still have pain even when I'm walking sometimes so back to the doc for me I think. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Go very slowly. Good luck :D

Flick - posted on 04/30/2010

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I had a c-section and was cleared after two weeks, but we didn't do anything for about three months. I just wasn't really feeling it, too tired etc. Hurt the first couple of times (as I was having twins we were told to stop after the second trimester) but then it got better.

Jessica - posted on 04/30/2010

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my boyfriend and i waited only the six weeks necessary. Before we did anything i warned him to be gentle and stop if i said to. i was nervous as all get out cuz i also had a small amount of lingering pain. but it didnt hurt too much, tho it wasnt exactly comfortable. but after that the pain was completely gone. i spotted for a couple of hours afterward tho, nothing major, and the only time i spotted for that reason after giving birth.

Rachel - posted on 04/30/2010

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Completely listen to your body. Your fiance will understand. As long as you feel up to it & are ready, then go for it.

Nikki - posted on 04/30/2010

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I had a vaginal birth and had to have a 4th degree episiotamy, which is extremely painful! At my 6 week check up my doc told me to wait another couple of weeks since I was still sensitive down there. We did and it hurt pretty badly when we tried to have sex again. Its been about a month later and I am still scared to try again. Don't feel like you have to have sex right away. We gave birth and deserve all the time in the world to heal and decide when its time to get back in the sack :)

Julia - posted on 04/29/2010

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first just because your appointment is april 30 doesnt mean you are ready, your body may not be. however if it is its got to be something your comfortable with or its not going to be any good. I was ready right a way but my sister took an aditional 2 months before she could have sex.

Jane - posted on 04/29/2010

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i would have waited forever - both times! the best thing about the HIPPA law is - nobody knows what your doctor tells you. tell him whatever you want! i just didn't have any interest after either kid that early. i told him that i still wasn't healed as well as i should be. then when i started to feel guitly, i gave in. lol! it's just that my focus changed, i was all mom. the interest comes back but not in 6 weeks, for me at least. this time around, the only way he got any action was to tell me he wanted another baby - smart man.

Iris - posted on 04/29/2010

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Well there is other ways of having sex , then intercourse. After I had my son, my dr told me as soon as I stopped bleeding that I could have sex, but to use protection because I can get pregnant easy again..With the rip and stitch, have u been having sit baths to sooth it ?

Brittnii - posted on 04/29/2010

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with my first we waited 4 weeks cause the bleeding stopped after 4 weeks...and there was no pain....
with my second it was the full 6 weeks cause my stitched were hurting so bad...
if ur body doesnt feel right yet then wait...there are other ways to please him besides sex :P

Nicole - posted on 04/29/2010

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I was cleared at the 6 week mark but I was still in a lot of pain so my husband and I waited an extra 2 weeks. It just depends on your body and how comfortable you are. Not having sex isn't fun, but you want to be able to enjoy it when you start again.

Lucy - posted on 04/29/2010

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Although medically 6 weeks is the usual mark when the doctor will give you the all clear to have sex, it doesn't mean that it's compulsory!

There may be lots of reasons why you don't feel ready, mostly emotional, hormonal and psychological, so don't let your husband's excitement about the big day put pressure on you if you're not up for it.

With my first baby I tore badly and the stitches got infected, so although we were told 6 weeks would be fine, my husband was very patient and full sex didn't happen for about a month after the 6 week mark. With our second, no stitches and an easier birth meant that I felt ready after 4 weeks, so it really is down to how you feel and your husband being tuned in to your feelings.

If you don't feel ready at 6 weeks, remember there are lots of ways you can be intimate without penetrative sex. But if you are raring to go, take it slow and don't forget the lube!

Louise - posted on 04/29/2010

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We waited about two weeks with my first child even though I had stitches I felt ready. With my second son about the same but with my daughter I had an emergency c section and I really did not feel like it for a couple of months. I think really you will know when the time is right, it is not painful to start again and if it is then stop!

Jacqueline - posted on 04/29/2010

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we waited about a week after both births.I have had no stichers and my doctor said whenever you feel ready.

Sunny - posted on 04/28/2010

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We waited about 2 weeks after a natural birth, no stitches. I'd say get the ok from your doctor than listen to your body :)

Devin - posted on 04/28/2010

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i had a c-section and we waited for 5 weeks...i wasnt medically cleared yet but i felt it was ok...it took alot of foreplay and like the others said being slow and lubricant but really u juss have to pay attention to ur body and u'll know when ur ready

Heather - posted on 04/28/2010

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With my first i had a C-section and as soon as my staples came out we were back at it, however with my second I had a all natural vaginal birth with much tearing/stitches. My doc didn't clear me at 6 weeks b/c my stitches hadn't completely dissolved but said as soon as they were gone we were cleared. I wasn't able to for another month or so due to very sensitive scarring. But like most other mommas said you have to make sure it's right for you and your body is ready and let your fiancee know how your feeling. Good Luck!

Courtney - posted on 04/28/2010

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If you feel up to it, try it after your 6 week check up. You'll probably be really sore still...but after a few trys it'll be back to normal! lol

Rebekah - posted on 04/28/2010

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I tore and I couldn't have sex for 2 and a half months. We tried after the doctor said it was okay and it was too bad we had to stop as soon as we started.

Rebeca - posted on 04/28/2010

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I had a natural birth for both my children but my first child was a 36 hour very complicated labour and it took me about 3 months to be able to cope with actual penetration, although we did fool around, and just built up to it slowly I guess.

My second child was born in 19 minutes and I was out shopping 3 hours after the birth, so I think it only took about a week before penetration and it was fine.

I agree with the other moms, as long as you are medically cleared, listen to your body and go for it as soon as you are ready. Just let your fiance know that he will need to be very gentle and take things slow, and if you need to ask him to stop because it is too painful, well there are other ways to keep men happy...lol

Good luck, and Congratulations on your little miracle.
Rebeca

Sarah - posted on 04/28/2010

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With my first daughter we waited like 7 weeks... and it was a little painful. With our second we waited about 4 weeks. It really is up to you & your body. Good luck :) and I agree with the go slow comment.

Kristin - posted on 04/28/2010

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You will be medically cleared for sex most likely. However, don't feel you have to jump back into it if you don't feel ready. Definitely go slow, LOTS of foreplay, and maybe pick up some lubricant (especially if breastfeeding). Oh yes, don't forget birthcontrol. Lubricated condoms are a good choice since it makes penetration easier. Again, take your time. There are lots of ways to be physically intimate without penetration. You may need a few rounds of making out before you get back into it.

Early morning helps, your levels of testosterone will be higher then. Arousal will come more quickly, or so they say. At six weeks, all I wanted was to sleep. Most important, talk to your fiance about how you are feeling both emotionally and physically and be honest with him.

Good luck and enjoy.

Brianna - posted on 04/28/2010

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I had a natural birth and also had a rip/stitches. At my 6 week appt they told me I was cleared to have sex. We waited a day or two. Just make sure that he goes SLOW!! There is going to be discomfort and probably a little pain when he enters but once you get going it should be ok. Use lubricant the first few times it helps. The longer you wait the harder it is going to be to try because your mind will make it a big deal so once YOU are ready, go for it.
My best advice is talk to your fiance before hand. Tell him how nervous you are and that you need to take it as slowly as possible. He should understand that, there was a lot of stuff going on down there the last few weeks :).

Heather - posted on 04/28/2010

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My husband was also excited for the 6 week mark too. :) We did have sex after 6 weeks and I did bleed a little bit, and it did hurt slightly too, but it didn't do any damage or anything like that. The next time we did have sex I think I still did bleed just a bit, but it was a lot less. So, yeah I would say just do what feels right to you.

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