How much do your husband help with things around house if they work full time and you're a SAHM?

Suzanne - posted on 11/01/2010 ( 50 moms have responded )

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Hi Girls! My husband works full time during week and drives hour and half to and from work each day....leaves around 6:30am and home at around 6:30 or 7pm. I always gave him slack because of his drive and have tried my best at cooking,cleaning up (which he seldom helps with) and bathing and putting kids to bed ..I pretty much do EVERY night.

so just wondering how much do your husbands pitch in when they get home from work? We have been looking for a house closer to his work for almost 5 yrs now :( wow !! I know crazy......but I keep hoping one day we will get a house and he will be closer and then I will get a little more help.

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well tonight for example....hubby just got home (10 pm my time) and the kids have been in bed for hours. He left for work at 9 am --- so I did it ALL today. That means got everyone up and ready for school or whatever activity; cleaned up from all the Halloween mess AND my baby's 1st birthday party on the weekend; went to the school to pick up my sick son then had to take all 3 kids to the babys' DR's appt. then all back home with the sick son, cranky baby who just had shots, and over-tired 3 year old from too little sleep and too much sugar. Needless to say they had chicken nuggets and french fries for supper. then bath and put everyone to bed. Hubby would never, ever, ever have to endure a day like today.....at least not on his own like I always do. But to his credit, when it's his day off this week, he will pitch in....because he Knows he never has to endure days like today and believe me, he is grateful. Everyone always makes the SAHM feel like she should be on her knees in eternal thanks that HE works so hard so she can stay home. Well, an enlightened man would at least consider the possibility that perhaps HE'S the one that has a pretty good thing going. So pitch in every now and then and how about showing the SAHM that you appreciate all she does. Works both ways in my opinion.

Iysha - posted on 11/10/2010

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My husband leaves the home at 6am and gets home at 10:30/11pm most nights M-F, one night a week he comes home at 5:30. On weekends, he comes home at 12 noon. So, needless to say, i am the one doing ALL the housework....it's the least I could do with him working so much. i even get his clothes ready for him in the morning and make his lunch...and get his sleeping clothes ready for when he comes home. i dont find it hard to do everything...just boring....I am a planner and my whole day, everyday, is planned out to make sure I have time for my daughter, time for cleaning, time for cooking, time to go out if we need to. Very rarely will he come home to a messy home...sometimes to a laundry room with clean clothes in garbage bags and a few toys/books on the floor, but never a full on mess.



Oh, on weekends if he's hungry and I'm busy, he feeds himself. lol. he also does the dog washing/grooming. When the snow comes, I think that I am going to have to learn to shovel snow....there's no way he's going to have time for that =[



I also want to note that the time he is home, he spends with us. From watching a movie together or picking out movies/books at the library to playing with our daughter and laying with her and falling asleep.

Nicole - posted on 11/25/2010

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My husband and I have had arguments about this I agree with Samantha the men are Father's 1st husbands 2nd then employee, yes a job is important, but it is also important for my son to spend time with his father, and for me to spend time with my husband to be a healthy family we all need that. most of what I ask is that he come home and play with him. that gives me a bit of a break, maybe give him a bath, and get him ready for bed...I can take it from there. We all need help, they get a break from work, why can't we get a break at home. I love being able to stay with my son! I wouldn't trade it for anything, but it is important for men to help out. Also the kids will see that as they get older (I speak with experiance) dad's not doing anything he must not care! So yes I think it's important!

Andrea - posted on 11/18/2010

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My fiance leaves the house at 7am and has a 45min drive to work, he gets home around 5.30pm. I work part time 3 days a week 11 am to 6pm. I do ALL the cleaning, washing etc and I do 99% of the looking after of our 1yr old son. I think it's a man thing!! Just try and focus on their good points... lol.

Lauren - posted on 11/04/2010

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OMG he thinks that since he works full time and Im a full time mom I do all the laundry all the dishes, cooking and feeding the dogs that all he should do is the trash. Really! ugh drives me crazy.

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Samantha - posted on 02/24/2012

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Mine doesn't help at all. We have our own business (he works outside the home and I do the bookkeeping in home) and I take care of the house, kids and all the pets.. There's not enough hours in the day for me to accomplish in the day. If he would just pick up after HIMSELF it would definitely make my life a lot easier!!!

Jessica - posted on 11/26/2010

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My husband will take the boys out so I can do things around the house on the weekends. But other than that, just helps with bedtime, i do everything else.

Erin - posted on 11/24/2010

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My husband is a very special guy. As soon as he's through the door he kicks of his shoes and goes straight to the kids. When he works those longer days, that's all I expect of him. I'd rather her spend time with the kids, especially when they're going to bed in a couple of hours and that's all he'll have seen them in the whole day! I actually feel a little sorry for him and the kids on those days. My house isn't in immaculate conditions, but it's clean and tidy just the way it needs to be. If my kids are happily playing with their dad, I'm not going to interrupt them, the dishes can wait till tomorrow when I've recharged because honestly, I'd rather be playing with them too! But on the weekends when I'm out making a cheque, he's doing the laundry, feeding the children, doing hid "dad" chores, doing dishes...generally the house is how I left it. And I don't really get to see them at all on the weekends. (Trying to make it so I don't have to). So really, it's quite balanced for both of our work loads. But if I were home the whole time and not working on the weekends I wouldn't expect nothing more than to be there for the kids and myself having fun being a family :) (in an ideal world ;))

Fiona - posted on 11/14/2010

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I am lucky as I have a hubby who pitches in a lot around the house. I have a disability so he is very much appreciated. He works full time with 12 hour shifts and a 1/2 hour drive to work each way. What helps for us is that he works 3 or 4 days on and has the same off. Approx every 4 or 5 weeks he has 7 days off in a row. His shifts are 7-7. He gets home in time to say good night to the kids or to take the 2 youngest to school. My kids are now older (7, 8 and 12) so they help more now too. His biggest contribution is laundry as I can't carry it down stairs or even up again. We plan all the heavy chores for when he is home and I get my down time during the day because after school it is running with kids activities. My house may not be the neatest but it isn't dirty and my kids are happy and healthy. My hubby and I came to that agreement long before we had kids. I love my hubby and sometimes feel guilty for all he does but if I push myself and do too much, I pay with pain and everyone else pays when mom can't do things like get them to their soccer games, cadets and Brownies. It is a juggling act that couldn't be done without the help of my loving hubby!

Cassandra - posted on 11/13/2010

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my hubby works just across town and we live in a small town. he only gets one day off a week. He is super sweet, I also do 90% of the work in the home, cleaning, bathing, bed ect. My honey is too tired when he gets off work or has a day off, but if I let him know im feeling a little overwhelmed, he pitches in wherever I need him to. He's really understanding.

Morehu Te Manawanui - posted on 11/12/2010

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Mine does everything and anything to make things easier for me. i dont need to ask him to help or give me just 5min to myself. he just knows and always a smile and postive encouragement daily. He works 7 days aweek and always comes home for lunch always has a smile on his face to greet me and our 4month old baby boy.we have 2 teenage boys and live with my 80 yr old father whom i care for. it is a pretty full on lifestyle but you learn to adapt and i wouldnt change my life for anything.

Patricia - posted on 11/12/2010

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Hey Suzanne, my husband(father of 5) works from 5 am to 6pm he comes home and helps put supper on the table, rinses dishes after dinner, with 3 over the age of 18 now it is mainly the 2 younger boys(6&8) they take turns taking showers and that is daddy duty we take turns reading them books at night or them reading to us I usually already have their homework done. on weekends he lets me sleep in till 9 and he has started the laundry already. it helps with us having a date night every Wed night our 19 daughter babysits we get groceries then go for dinner. Gary has always been a hands on dad and enjoys it.

Laura - posted on 11/12/2010

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My husband works from 9-6, five days per week. We have a one year old son. I'm not truly happy with the amount of help that I get from him (or the quality of that help lol, but that's another story) but I know that he tries very hard to remember that when he gets home it's not just time to relax while I continue to take care of the kid. He helps change diapers, he helps feed him and he "watches" him if I need to go to the grocery store (we only have one car, and his "watching" is just keeping him in a playpen while my husband watches tv). Look back to the way that your husband's father behaved and strive for something better than that. In my husband's household his mother did EVERYthing. More, even, than she needed to. She waited on her husband and kids hand and foot. So I knew right off that it would be a challenge to get him to help out. The bottom line I think is that men are like kids. They do what you expect/allow them to do. If you aren't happy with the help that you are getting then try explaining that you have accepted the amount of help that you get up until now because you felt like you should, but that it's just too much for you. He loves you. He doesn't want you to be unhappy. However, it's not his fault that you're unhappy IF you don't tell him. If you don't try to change things then your resentment will just build, silently but surely, until it becomes an issue that he will feel blindsided by when it explodes.

Karen - posted on 11/10/2010

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Ok let's face it, grateful for him for getting z money to cook dinner, pay z rent and OCCASIONALLY buying something for me, but being a mom IS A FULL TIME JOB, at least he has a weekend and days off unless i who have to do the same job of taking care of 2 kids (3 yrs & 4 months which am very grateful to have bzw) everyday!!
i wouldn't mind switching roles would love to work 8 hours a day and come back to finding my dinner ready, my clothes ironed and all i have to do is play for an hour with the kids before it's their bedtime!! so no i wouldn't expect much help suzanne instead i learned to do it all by myself it's more acceptable to me to know he won't help instead of being angry every time the day passes by without some extra help!!

Amy - posted on 11/10/2010

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My husband makes it a priority to help with the kids several nights per week. They have a great routine in place and it's a time when I can wrap up some projects and just enjoy hearing stories and giggles in the background. It lightens my heart to hear it!
And I think that's something mom's need to help the dad's remember. The house clean-up, meals, etc are something that gets done -- the kids are fed, the dishes get washed... But watching your kids grow kind of sneaks up on you and you need to treat it as the precious thing it is. So...I don't view what my husband does to get the kids to bed as "helping me" so much as quality time with the kids. Whether it takes him 10 minutes or an hour, that bonding time is important and should be encouraged (if he's not actively participating) and protected (if he is). I'm also careful not to criticize how my husband does it. The basics are in place (brush teeth, use toilet) and beyond that I don't interfere.

Randi - posted on 11/10/2010

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I'm lucky, hubby not only works his bum off full time, but he helps out in the house and with the kids. He does dishes after dinner, since I cook, and on the weekends, he will help me with laundry. He helps bath the kids and get em in bed too. Since I'm home cleaning, and "teaching" all day. He does help at night. I dont expect it, but he does help and it makes it so nice. :)

Andrea - posted on 11/10/2010

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I'm a stay at home mom and I think that because my husband's job is outside the home, mine is inside the home. Its my job to do things around here, but I do get frustrated and tired sometimes. I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for help every once in a while. You're human too. If you do everything all the time you will more than likely become resentful. Nothing is worse than feeling resentment towards your spouse. Understand too that he isn't a mind reader. You will have to tell him if you need help. I learned that the hard way. lol.

Megan - posted on 11/09/2010

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im a young mum only 23 and was really worried about my me and my partner settling down and having a baby casue he is really the women does everything im at work all day i deserve to come home and relax i dont mind cooking and cleaning the house and taking care of our daughter as long as i know that when i need help he is there which he is now when he gets home he will either bath or feed her and put her to bed but always plays with her as soon as he gets in the door he cooks more then me as he loves to cooks i do complain a bit i think i need to be a bit more understanding as someone who had the biggest social life and no barely has one and does not see any of his money i appreicate that he doesnt complain about that when he is home he is a great help i let him relax casue i know at work he doesnt relax as when im at home i atleast get 30 min to just sit every man is different for what i have leanrt i belive the only way is to let them deal alone with the kids for a day and they can see that stay at home mums dont just sit on there like so many people think

Claudine - posted on 11/09/2010

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I can't complain... In fact, I almost feel guilty... My husband works full time and when he comes home, he will tackle all kinds of things. I may be a SAHM, but he is always more than willing to cook, clean, do laundry... whatever he sees that might need to be done at any given moment. And, now that I am pregnant and always nauseous, he cleans the bathrooms for me and even the kitchen if it has any strange smell from somebody not rinsing their dishes. I consider myself a very lucky woman!! But, I think that he does what he can while he can because he is in the Navy and while on Sea Duty, he will be gone so much that I will be like a single parent and not have the luxury of him helping out at all!

Frances - posted on 11/09/2010

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i'm quite fortunate. my husband works swingshift. he doesn't leave for work until 1:15 in the afternoon and comes home at 11 pm. he's home with me most of the day and he KNOWS what its like to be a stay at home mom. he's seen the house get clean and then magically 5 minutes later, seen it get completely trashed. if i'm cleaning, he usually will find something to do, even if its just a pick up a few toys off the floor (which happens to be amazing for me since I am currently 36 weeks pregnant and don't tend to do a lot of that lol). He's stayed home while i've ran errands and knows how obnoxious the kids can be and he goes grocery shopping with me almost every week so he knows how crappy that can be, too. I know my job could be a lot worse if my husband didn't pitch in so much, and I am thankful that i have it as easy as i do. I think its really sad when the out-of-home working partner doesn't appreciate and try to understand the stay-at-home working partner. i've been a working mom and i can honestly say the staying home job is much more taxing.

Christi - posted on 11/09/2010

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After much training (ie screaming matches and getting pissed off because of the lack of help) my husband helps out, and even volunteers to do the things he knows I hate. He takes out the trash daily for me, offers to change and bathe the kiddo if he isn't working night too (he has two jobs) and helps me with laundry on the weekends. He is also now able to pick up after himself, yay! He may still leave his dishes in the sink, but I am just happy he takes them in and rinses them off, lol. It took be being in the hospital for a week for him to see how much I do, on top of our son's therapies three hours a day, every single day, plus the cooking, cleaning, errands, shopping, bills, ect.

Kell - posted on 11/09/2010

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I'm very fortunate to have a hubby who is very 50/50 about housework (or was I just wise to marry a man who feels that way? LOL!). While I was pregnant, he took on more and more of the housework gradually so that by the time Xan was due, he was doing it all and continued doing it all till Xan was a good 6 months old so I could concentrate on Xan (I breastfed till he was 14 1/2 months old). After that, I gradually picked up my share of the housework again and now we're back t 50/50.

When I worked full time in an office we were 50/50 and I don't see why it should be any different now that I am a SAHM. The way we see it, my "daytime job" is the care of our son. If that means the dishes don't get done till teatime then so be it - housework will wait, but Xan will only be a kid for a short time.

We don't spend all day every day at home either - we're out and about more often than not, either at the park, or taking walks, or in town meeting friends or on playdates (either here or elsewhere), and at home, Im' very hands-on with Xan's play (we're about to make sock puppets as soon as we're finished brekkie - he's still eating which is how I have a few minutes on the computer - LOL!).

Natascha - posted on 11/08/2010

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I'm in the same situation that you r. My husband leave for work at 430 in the morning and does not come until 730 at night. He has shift work so one week he works days and another week he works night. If i get him to do something in the house it would be a miracle.

Heather - posted on 11/06/2010

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My DH works about 70 hrs a week, he has his own seperate living room, he keeps that picked up, and he will cook 1x per week, but me being a stay at home Mom...I do home care for an elderly lady 8 hours a week, I don't expect him to help with house work at all, he is very southern and very traditional...It is my job to take care of the house.

Olja - posted on 11/05/2010

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Oh, I'm one of the lucky ... My husband and works and helps me with housework. I worry about children, cooking, washing and acquisition, on the vacuuming, dusting, washing windows ... Its very mean to me assistance and I am grateful to him for that. In any case I appreciate the help, especially now when the children are small. I love him most in the world:)

Karlin - posted on 11/05/2010

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My hubby is self employed and drives a truck and trailer all day. He leaves the house at 6 am and if I'm lucky he will get home in time to put the kids to bed. Lately with Christmas coming, he has been getting home later and later, sometimes 9pm. Having said that, he tries his best. He will put the girls to bed most nights but at the weekend, I make him take over. I do the washing and cooking but he does the dishes and takes control of the girls. It is hard and somedays I find it difficult to cope and blame him, but then I need to think, If he didn't do the work he does, we wouldn't have a house, the things we have, good schooling for the kids, cars and the little bit of spending money left at the end of the month.

Just a suggestion, maybe you could ask your other half to take over during the weekend even for a few hours so you can have some time to yourself, but don't forget, family time is just as beneficial as alone time. All the best.

Heather - posted on 11/05/2010

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My husband leaves early in morning (commutes 45 mins each way), when he comes home at 6pm I make sure that dinner is ready and he has time to play with our son. It's easier for me to cleanup the dishes if I don't have a small child pulling at my pants. Than we bathe him together and I put him to bed. I know my husband works really hard to provide for our family. I run the household and pay the bills. He helps with bigger things: steam cleaning the carpet, winterizing, and such.

I did have to remind him that when he is home, we are both in charge of looking after our son and I shouldn't have to ask him to watch him while I cleanup after dinner or go to the bathroom. He has been much more appreciative of the house being clean since we talked.

Stifler's - posted on 11/04/2010

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My husband is the same and I always have everything done before he even gets home so there's not much left for him to actually do. I put Logan to bed because I'm good at it then go for a shower and I feel he should stack the dishwasher so we can sit down together after I shower and Logan's asleep but he hasn't yet.

Sarah - posted on 11/04/2010

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I am very blessed. My husband works 8-5 m-f and still helps out alot when he gets home. He will basically do whatever i ask him to do (although sometimes i have to ask him a few times but it eventually gets done lol) He helps out with cleaning, makes us dinner every night, does all the yard work, does his own laundry, bathes our son, and does any night feedings our son might need. Children are both parents responsibility whether one works outside the home or not. Yes i am home with our son all day so its really nice to have help around the house when he gets home. My hubby probably wouldn't do as much if i didn't ask him to, but we help each other out. We are both tired at the end of the day but there is always something that needs to be done. We are a team :)

Corinne - posted on 11/04/2010

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I've just come out of a nightmare 3yrs. When our first born hit 1yr old, my husband decided to go back to uni and get yet another qualification in the hope of finding a better job. Cue 3yrs of him working full time, 10-12hrs, 5 days a week, plus 10hrs at uni 1 day per week, and his 'day off' spent in the library writing up assignments and dissertations. Now, 3yrs and another child later, he finally has a better job, closer to home. He still works long, erratic hours, but if he's about for the school run, he does it; if he's home for tea, he cooks it. He helps with Mia's homework, he'll put the washer on. If I ask him, he will do it. Don't get me wrong, we've had 'the talk' especially when he mentioned the possibility of going back to uni again, but I made him see that his priority was his family and another degree wasn't worth much if his kids didn't know who he was. :)

Gerrie - posted on 11/04/2010

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it's called spoiling them but at the same how dare we bother them with chores when they have the stress of bringing home the bacon so it's tough situation... but he can throw the dirty clothes in the hamper as opposed to next to it lol :)

Carisa - posted on 11/04/2010

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I expect my husband to help out 50/50 when he gets home. Yes, he has been working all day, but so have I (taking care of your kids is a job) We share in the bedtime routine...it is his special time with our baby when he reads her stories while I'm reading to our 4 year old.

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He doesn't help much lol. I'm the stay at home mom so its my job to take care of the house and our daughter. Its just the way it is around here. He pays the bills and I get to stay home and raise our daughter. I don't have to worry about money so its a good trade off. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Aime - posted on 11/04/2010

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Yes they take crap from people they don't like, but at the same time, a lot of days we are taking crap from the little people we love, and I think that gets to be a heck of a lot more stressful. I don't think they should do ALL chores, but it's nice to have a break when the hubby gets home. You haven't had a break all day, he's already had at least 2. Being a stay at home mom is like working 80 hours overtime every week if you think about it. Yes it's fun a lot of the time, and you love your job a lot of the time, but that doesn't mean you should still be the only one doing all the work when the day ends!

Amalea - posted on 11/04/2010

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I am in the same boat as you are, my husband drives over an hour and a half each way, leaves here at 450 am and gets home from anywhere to 630-8pm, depending on the schedule. Now, I am a SAHM, so I cook full meals, clean, and take care of my son. Its kinda unfair to ask them to come in and wash dishes after full work days, but my husband does help with things like washing a couple loads of clothes, and he does the 'outside chores' on his days off. I kind of see my chores as my job, and its the best one out there. Think of how exhausted they are too, and try to understand. I know that beign SAHM theres never a dull minute, never privacy,and its like its on repeat. But theyre going out taking crap from ppl they dont even like just to make a paycheck. Just give him love and support, and hell return the favor. Hope things work out for the best.

Stacey - posted on 11/03/2010

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my man works 12-16 hours every day,the only thing i want him to do when he gets home is spend time with our babygirl which he does. i take care of everything around the house which i dont mind. sometimes he gives her a bath which is nice.



when he does take a day off here and there he does help out a lot.

Aime - posted on 11/03/2010

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I am a very lucky woman. My hubby is more than willing to help out after he gets home, especially if the day at home has been "one of those days". When he gets home sometimes I will go to our room and read a book for a while, or play a game on the computer, and he deals with the kids. It's nice to have that time right when he gets home to just be..to not have to be in charge for even a moment. He helps with dishes a lot, and even does laundry sometimes. It was never in my plan to be a stay at home mom, I had to quit working because of daycare costs, so it's nice to have him there to help keep my sanity! Love my babies but I miss the adult interaction I got when I had a full time job!

I don't know how understanding some of your husbands are, but maybe if you just tell them you need a few minutes of alone time after he gets home, you'll see it can help tremendously. Amazing what a few minutes of quiet can do!

Sheri - posted on 11/03/2010

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the only thing my husband would help with my 10 months son are getting the bottle, playing with him abit and carrying him abit if i need to eat or taking shower. my husband was very helpful for our first daugther. he would jump in help me with everything from putting her to sleep to diaper change. now he got so freakin busy at his career and i guess first time is always fresh/funner than second one. he never change a single diaper ever since my son's first month !!!!

Gina - posted on 11/03/2010

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My hubby is a farmer, so he works 24/7 and i get little help. If I really need something then he will help but for the most part i do it myself.

Tam - posted on 11/02/2010

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My husband is a dairy farmer so he works from 6am-6.30pm most days and our daughter goes to bed at 7pm. So I do everything for her. I don't resent this because he makes the money for me to stay at home and look after her and I'm sure he would help if he had any time to do so.

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I take care of the house. He makes the money to allow us to have said house. Our work is equal.

BUT (and a big BUT) we are both parents. Of course, I take care of the kid when he's working, but he'll jump in and do everything for her the second he gets home.

He'll also cook on occasion (he enjoys cooking) and help with household duties when I'm feeling a little overwhelmed.

Diane - posted on 11/02/2010

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how you doing? yes i can understand what you are going thru. my husband makes the excuse not too help. i ALWAYS TELL HIM I AM HIS WIFE AND NOT HIS SLAVE OR THE KIDS SLAVE. I HAVE 4 CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 8 AND THE TWO TODDLERS AGE4 AND 2. THEY REALLY MAKE MORE MESS. BUT I ALWAYS TELL HIM" HEY I GET TIRED" I WISH I CAN TAKE HIS SPOT AND LET HIM STAY AT HOME AND UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS. SO I GOT REAL FED UP, I GOT OUT OF BED GOT FRESHENED UP AND WENT OUT TO THE STORES AND LEFT HIM THERE FROM BREAKFAST UNTIL BOUT 7 THAT EVENING. I LEFT A NOTE AND STATED IF ITS NOT CLEAN I WONT COOK. I AM SO GLAD I MENTIONED THAT BECAUSE HE APPRECIATED AND UNDERSTOOD. SO INSTEAD OF ME COOKING DINNER WHEN I GOT HOME. HE B.B.Q. OUTSIDE WITH THE CHILDREN. AT TIMES AS MOTHERS WE NEED AND HAVE TO PUT OUR FOOT DOWN. OUR HUSBANDS USE THE EXCUSE TO NOT PITCH IN. BUT THEY NEED TO DO SOME KIND OF APPRECIATION OF THEIR WIVES. HEY WE DONT LEAVE DIRTY BOXERS IN THE LANDRY HAMPER AND SAY WILL YOU WASH THEM.WE DO IT BECAUSE WE APPRECIATE THEM. HOPE THIS IS HELPFULL. BLESSINGS

Tiziana - posted on 11/02/2010

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My husband does not help @ home, mostly because I dont mind doing everything since I'm home all day. He does play with our son when he gets home so that I can get dinner done and afterwards clean up the kitchen, and that is a great help for me cause otherwise it would take me forever.

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my husband plays with the kids when he gets home so i can cook dinner... he'll help me cook when i need him to, he bathes our daughter usually about twice a week (our son is still a newborn and i bathe him during the day right now or else he'd bathe both of them at the same time lol) he almost always puts our daughter to sleep. i get a lot of help from him, but i was really stressed a couple weeks ago when our son was first born and our daughter was being a little hellion (shes 16 months) and i broke down and bawled and he figured out i needed more help. he can be lazy some days when he had a hard day at work or is really tired but for the most part hes pretty good at sharing the evening responsibilities

Amanda - posted on 11/02/2010

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I guess I have always been of the opinion that whether or not either parents works outside the home, that the time they spend at home is to be dedicated to the house chores and children. It is a parent's job regardless of who works where or at what time to care for their family in their 'off' time. Most people that work outside the home think they deserve a 'break' when they come home, when really they should be starting their domestic duties immediately. So many men have been slacking on their job as fathers. They seem to think that all they need to do is bring home the paycheck and the rest is the mother's responsibility. As a SAHM, my job never ends. I do not get a 'break' nor do I expect one, but I DO expect him to contribute. I do whatever I can in the time I have, and he helps me whenever he can. If he starts getting lazy, I let him know. Mind you, he is only the future stepfather of my daughter, but we come as a package deal. He needs to take care of both of us like I take care of him. And he is a fantastic man! He take great care of us, and I am very thankful for that.

Kelina - posted on 11/01/2010

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My husband has school four days a week right now and works two of those days so two days a week, he leaves at 7:30 in the morning and gets home at 10 at night. Those days SUCK! Especially with a cranky baby. He has three days off though so i do ask him to help around the house a little bit. WE have an agreement, I do the dishes during the week and he does them over the weekend. (Lol his mom came over for dinner the other night and gave him hell cause he didn't do them one week and I had a meltdown the day he went back to school.) I also ask him to take out the garbage and recycling on their respective days and haul in wood and chop kindling for me since everyone gives me hell if I end up doing it. All in all it shouldn't take him long, but he doesn't often do these things, so it drives me up the wall. I'm happy that he's doing well in school and likes it, and grateful that he's working, but at the same time, I could happily kill him somedays. It doesn't help that he unintentionally teaches our 20 month old bad habits that i then have to correct during the week. But when he gets home from school during the week I'm lucky to get him to do our sons bedtime routine. It definitley drives me up the wall sometimes but i love him anyways!

Kerstin - posted on 11/01/2010

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My significant other works full time as well and works all day long. By the time he comes home and washes up and eats it's like an hour or 2 before he goes to bed. It can be tough at times because i don't get a break to just take a breather and relax. He has 2 days off a week and helps out then when he can. I just require him to spend time with our 7 month old son for a little bit every night. I''m very grateful for the fact that I am allowed to stay home with my kiddo but as most SAHM's know it's a full time 24/7 job itself and we can be just as tired as them. They atleast get a break from there's! Even if its a little thing just make sure he helps out a bit and let him know you appreciate him. I made the mistake right away of always being angry because I don't have any help outside of him. Unless my mother comes over for an hour when she gets the chance ( she works 2 jobs.) It made our relationship bitter for a bit and we fought a lot. We finally talked it over and have learned to appreciate each other somewhat. It still feels unfair sometimes but you got to lay down the rules and share your feeling with them. good luck to you!

Samantha - posted on 11/01/2010

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My husband is self employed and he works long hours and seems to never be home. When he is home he is doing nothing. My thoughts are they are a Father/Husband/Emloyee in that order. His drive atleast gives him time to unwind before he walks into the crazy house. I don't think they will ever help as much as we want. I try to show my husband how thankful I am for him and what he does for his family and I ask him to do the same for me by helping me at the end of the day. Remember they get to leave their JOB and us SAHM don't.
I hope God blesses you with a home close to his work!

Ali - posted on 11/01/2010

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My man does what he can when he can. But i dont push it he works full time and i think of it like this withput him i wouldn't have this nice house to clean this food to cook with and these clothes to iron :)

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