How to deal with inequality?

Christina - posted on 03/04/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My fiance believes he can do and go wherever he wants and he has no reason to tell me anything. I can't do that otherwise I am every name in the book. How do I make him realize that he is not being fair?

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User - posted on 03/15/2013

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I don't think you can! He's obviously been brought up to believe women are not his equals and will carry on like that until life teaches him the hard lessons! You can try, but if it doesn't work just leave. You will be the first of many until he learns to change. Unfortunately some men are like that but guess what, we don't have to put up with it!

Desismith - posted on 03/13/2013

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I don't think that age difference makes a difference. What does matter is how he views your relationship. If he had respect for you or for your relationship and now your family you might not have these issues.

Christina - posted on 03/05/2013

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I tried putting my foot down soooooo many times. And all he tells me is that I am being insecure and that I need to trust him. How can I if he doesn't trust me? He tells me he is going to go do something and he will be back in about an hour and he doesn't do what he says he's going to do and he does other things. Or he will do that and a whole bunch of other things that he didn't tell me he was going to do and he is gone for hours. I try to text him.............no response. And then he gets mad at me when he sees that I have a bit of an attitude. When he doesn't answer my instinct is to start worrying. I have told him many times that it is not fair. It just seems like he doesn't care.

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Laura - posted on 03/16/2013

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That is a red flag. If he is doing that now, he is most likely not ready for total committment. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you, but like another mom responded...if that is how he believes things should be, the marriage will be unhealthy and it will hurt your self-esteem. Me personally, have made it clear that we are equals. I have been blessed in that respect. Remember, YOU make the choice to stay or go. :)

Christina - posted on 03/11/2013

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LOL........that is why we are not married yet. And I have told him that things need to change before we get married. I am 32 going to be 33 in a couple of months.....he just turned 27.......so I am sure that makes a difference.

Sally - posted on 03/11/2013

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He doesn't sound mature enough to be in a relationship. And why do you have so little opinion of yourself that you put up with it? If the two of you don't figure out this is wrong before, it'll only get worse when you get married.

Christina - posted on 03/05/2013

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It's not even that he is going out at night.....99% of the time he is home at night.....it's during the day.

Desismith - posted on 03/05/2013

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Put your foot down. Tell him he cannot come and go as he pleases. He and you share responsibility and if he is not interested then it's time for him to leave! Calling you names is not showing you respect and is certainty not teaching the child to respect you either. He needs to get it together and you're the only one who can demand respect.

Aleisha - posted on 03/05/2013

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If he is going out at night returning home without stating where he has been. Then he seems to be the one with the problem! Calling you every name in the book! Huh sounds like guilt. You have to make a stand either way. Either your going to allow this to continue or you going to put a stop to this revolving door.

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