How to end cosleeping for naps with stubborn 11 month old???

Meg - posted on 01/14/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My little man wont nap in crib...Have put the crib right beside my bed and he will sleep at night after a few tears, but daytime naps he will scream and cry endlessly unless held. I'm a single mom and will be having another baby. We have done attachment parenting, but now he is over attached, and throws a fit even if I go to the washroom without him. How do I foster his independance without doing any emotional damage while I prepare him for a new sibling in the future? I can rock him to sleep, but he wakes every time he is put down, and would cry for hours if I'd let him. Its becoming a heart breaking battle, any sound advice very much appreciated!

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Val - posted on 01/17/2012

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I have a 2 1/2 yr old and a 1 1/2 year old and have the very same struggle. I havent actually figured it out yet but i can at least share this. I would let your baby cry it out at naptime and every day will get slightly less (probably like you did it at bedtime). The reason i say that is once you have two, naps become brutal as u cant cuddle with both at the same time (my problem!). My children are both overattached too so i definitely know what you are dealing with. Being firm and consistent with naps is the only way. My husband and i have both slacked off and as a result today i spent 2.5 hours between the two kids just getting them to nap. Good luck!

Bette - posted on 01/14/2012

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Are you pregnant, or simply planning another babe in the future? If you are pregnant, your 11 month old might be feeling a difference in you. That you are tired or less attentive to his needs.



You foster his independence by making him feel safe and secure. You ease his fears until he is emotionally mature. If kids aren't comforted, they hold onto the fear and it grows with them.



I have a very demanding and needy, yet highly intelligent and kind 3 year old. He was 1 1/2 when I got pregnant. We worked together as a little team when I got pregnant. We took naps together and ate little meals (morning sickness picnics) on the living room floor or in the front yard. He was my buddy. I varied his days and wore him out. I read him stories about becoming a big brother and told him everyday that even though there was another baby coming, he would always be my special big boy. I told him everyday about the baby that was coming and how he was someone for us both to love together. I make special big boy time for him even now and I do the same for the little one. He is a great big brother and we don't have jealousy issues with sharing momma, just toys.



Your routine will fall into place with the two of them. It will feel overwhelming going into it, however, when the new baby is here, it will feel natural and while you can't imagine your life WITH the new baby right now, when they come, you won't be able to imagine your life withOUT them.

Brittney - posted on 01/14/2012

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Sounds like separation anxiety to me. Minimize separations as much as possible and take your baby along if he seems to feel anxious. Your baby will learn that when you leave you'll return. Try being more casual instead. A simple "see you later, alligator" followed by a quick hug and a kiss can do wonders for an anxious child. Your actions show her that leaving isn't big deal and that you'll be home again soon.

As for the cosleeping... if its only for naps you could lay down with him and when hes asleep you can get up or put him in his crib. I hope this helps, sorry, I don't have much experience with co-sleeping.

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Does he have a stuffed animal or blanket he is attached to? I would try to get him attached to what we call a lovey. My oldest is almost 5 and still sleeps with he Dollar Store monkey named Mo who has been around since she was 6 months. My other daughter who is almost 3 has a doggie she loves and a small blankie and my son who is 1 has to have his suckie (a blanket with a stuffed bears head on it). Maybe it he feels something close to him or like its his he will feel better. Good luck.

Edna - posted on 01/18/2012

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I don't know much about the separation but my son has never had a mid day nap in his cot and neither did my daughter (he's 17 months and she's 8yrs) they both did the sleep where you drop thing, and it is literally that if they fall asleep on the floor or the sofa then thats where they stay as long as they are safe then there getting sleep whats the problem, my daughter was even known for sleeping on the floor in resturants if we went out she'd flake out and we'd leave her there as long as it was safe and pick her up when we went home. so does he really have to sleep in his cot, if he's asleep he'll still think your there even if you've nipped off to do some jobs or anything else.

Jaime - posted on 01/18/2012

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I've been having a similar problem but just re-assure them that they will be alright... I used to leave the living room and my daughter would freak out but I would keep reassuring her that i'm right here and she's gotten better... she used to nap on me for about an hour but if I moved her to let her sleep alone she would flip out. I started wrapping her in a blanket and letting her sleep on me for about 10-15 mins and then taking the blanket with her and putting it on the floor so she thinks i'm still next to her and that works. I've also recently been taking her to her room and rocking her in the rocking chair and then putting her in her crib. she talks for a little bit and then goes out because no one is coming to get her and she sleeps for about an hour then i go up and get her... gives me a chance to clean up or shower or exercise... hope this helps!

Meg - posted on 01/18/2012

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Thanks for your help ladies. Night time is now no problem, still a battle for naps. My sister has suggested trying pick up/ put down method for naps...all I can do is try!

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