how to get my husband to help more

Melissa - posted on 09/19/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am a STHM and it gets tiring after a while.. I get up with my 10 month old @ 7 am and get up with her all hours of the night also.. My husband thinks its the easiest thing in the world.. How can i get him to understand and help more.. Granted he works all day but i need a break sometime my job as a STHM is 24/7 365 and he wont help with the baby how can i get him to help sometimes...

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Tracie - posted on 09/20/2012

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The first thing you need to do is stop thinking about it as "needing his help." That implies that it's solely YOUR responsibility but you can't manage it so you need him to step in and help you do it. Parenting is BOTH of your responsibilities. What you actually need is for him to stop shirking his half of the responsibility onto you.



He works at the office all day doing whatever. You work at home all day raising your child. Once he comes home, all remaining household and childcare duties should be split 50/50.



If he can't grasp this concept, then perhaps what he needs is a week in your shoes. Go away to visit family without either of them. After he spends a week working the hours you've been working, he will understand and start to pull his weight.



Good luck to you!

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Emma - posted on 09/25/2012

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If he wont help with lil one make him do the chores, grantd he works bt hes stil a parent to that one doesnt stop so with chores ur meeting im alf way then x

Tracie - posted on 09/22/2012

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Glo - good for you!!! And Melissa - don't forget to tell him to make sure all the laundry is done and the fridge is full and dinner is on the table when you get home!! ;-)

Glo - posted on 09/22/2012

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Tracie Dumm has the right idea! I know it worked for me. I went thru the same thing with my husband when the kids were little. One day I got tired of hearing him say "I worked all day!". "What did you do...stay at home and do nothing?" That's when I started to plan a trip with a girl friend that was going thru the same thing with her husband! And it didn't include kids or my husband. We went on a nice relaxing trip out of town for a week leaving our husbands home with the kids. Both of us missed our kids a lot but we knew we had to do it if they were ever going to have a dad. Not just a father, but a real dad! And a real husband! Needless to say by the time we got home they really understood what it was like to stay at home all day doing nothing! After that week if I needed help or even just a few minutes away from the kids he was there to pitch in.



Give it a try. It can't hurt! And it might help. Good luck to you.

Cleaver - posted on 09/19/2012

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i get no help from my husband and he works at home let me know if i you figure out how

Sabeen - posted on 09/19/2012

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Talk to him politely...tell him wat u do all day long,tell him just to share dont accuse him for not helping.men r like this usually with first baby,try to involve him with ur child.he will definitely be more sympathetic if not helpful.

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