How to handle the ex playing mind games w/ my 4 yr old..

Sherry - posted on 04/18/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My ex & I were together for 6 yrs. I had no family, no friends, no life with this man. We are both fighting for custody of our 4 yr old little girl, I wanted to do 50/50 because we had her together, we should both be apart of her life. I have tried being fair, & honest, & civil, but he tells her not to like my friends, my new boyfriend, and even family members. He tells her i tore our family apart! It's sickening...I know! Now this joke of an ex has got us going to parenting classes & wasting my $$ on lawyer costs. I'm so tired of him polluting her mind.......

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[deleted account]

Sherry that's so pathetic! He sound slike he's acting like a child! And I think to pass the class participation should be essential!

Sherry - posted on 04/20/2010

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Jennifer, I AM trying!! So hard, I'm glad someone has noticed, too bad he doesn't catch on. LOL! We had parenting class yest & again today, he was the only one in class that didn't participate. But what sucks is u don't have to participate to pass the class, all u gotta do is show up & pay. The teacher even said Silence is just as bad as arguing. I couldn't agree more. He just won't communicate with me at all. i think he's bitter because I have moved on & have FINALLY started living MY life- instead of his!!

Sherry - posted on 04/20/2010

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Kel, actually he is still married. I didn't find out until 3 yrs into our relationship while i was pregnant with our child. We have had an on & off again relationship, & yes, he is trying to say i cheated all the time, which so isn't the case. In the county i live in, they are more for 50/50 parenting, which i agree with & want. he is just being a hard head!!

Carolee - posted on 04/19/2010

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Go for full custody and child support. Make sure your lawyer knows that he is polluting her mind.

Jenn - posted on 04/19/2010

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My ex is a loser who doesn't pay his court-ordered child support, and only asks to see his his about every 3 weeks - for an afternoon! He has no job - so why can't he see him more? Grr! Anyway, I know how you feel as I'm the same way - I would never take my son away from his father as I feel it is important for them to have a relationship, but it's hard when they want to play dirty. The only advice I can give is to stay true to who you are, and KEEP NOTES! Keep a record of everything - things he says or does, etc. This could be helpful in court to show what sort of father he is being. I know you want them to maintain a relationship, but sometimes an influence like that isn't beneficial - and truth be told a 50/50 deal rarely ever works in reality.

[deleted account]

Yeah I can see that you are a very good mother and strong woman and that you only want what's best for your daughter. My parents divorced when I was 13 and they had joint custody and have always been civil about it. It seems that he wants a battle and will do anything to turn your daughter against you. Do what you think's best.

Kel - posted on 04/19/2010

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You should have no problems becoming the primary custodial parent. The courts are definately slanted in the mother's favor. Your ex will have a tall order to prove you as an unfit mother. The only loophole I've heard of to sway the court in favor of the father would be if he had physical evidence that there was an infedelity on your part during the marriage.

Sherry - posted on 04/19/2010

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I am trying, but I'm putting out all this $$ just for paperwork! I don't want to take her away from her father, but I want the BS to stop. I was trying to be a good parent by NOT going for full custody & yanking her away from him, but since he tried to do it to me- tit for tat! Right now we r in the process of the custody battle, but I don't want to battle.

[deleted account]

The best advice I could give is why not try getting full custody? At this young age she can do without the childish, pathetic mindgames and it means that when she's older she can decide for herself whether she wants a relationship with her father.

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