How to I get my husband/ Father of my girls to step up????

Mandie - posted on 03/23/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )




My husband and I have been married for 4 years. We have 2 girls, one age 2 and one age 4. All my husband ever does is go to work, come home, and hop on whatever game system we have at the time (right now it's the PS3). He completely ignores the girls except to tell them to sit on the couch, ALL THE TIME. Our oldest child is in speech therapy, and he never gets involved in it. I want to know what I can say or do to make him open his eyes and realize he has 2 little girls that are starving for his attention and want to play with him!! They see me all day, why can't he step up?! What can I do? HELP ME OUT!!!!!!!!


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Sabrina - posted on 03/23/2010




He may just not know what to do with them. My husband had a hard time relating to our oldest son when he was younger. He told me he can't sit and play the games that our son wants to play. Now that our son is older my husband is very much involved. Try to sit down with him and the girls with a fun activity. Show him things he can do with the girls. Show him without him realizing that you are showing him (hope that made sense). It is better if he thinks it is his idea, and you two don't fight constantly over the subject. Good Luck!

Sarah - posted on 03/23/2010




when he gets home and starts playing his game stand in front of him and get his attention. tell him you wanna talk about things that envolve his family. but if he shows he doesn't care then, well i am not exactly sure how to help you there. if you have tried so many times. when is it ever enough? if it keeps happening then YOUR going to half to think of serious steps to do for you and your little girls and whats best and i don't think anyone can tell you what you should do. just follow your heart and do what you think is best. i hope he pays attention soon :)

Alexis - posted on 03/23/2010




Well after 8 years of marriage I have learned that you can't change someone. However that doesnt mean you dont do anything or give up. An idea is to sit down and calmly explain your situation--don't expect him to change or agree just simply let him know how you feel. (Try to do this by not putting him down, only tell your feelings). Then give positive reinforcment and appreciation any time he does do anything with the kids, no matter how small! I know I know it sounds like your raising another child by doing this but it has worked in other areas of my marriage. Dont critizie but appreciate, but also make your feelings heard. This may or may not work and if it does its going to be over a long period of time before you start seeing him come around. Good Luck.

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