How to talk to your kids about cancer and should I?

Danielle - posted on 06/15/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

605

13

21

I found out recently that I have to have a hysterectimy due to the presence of abnormal cells and possible cervical cancer. I won't find out for another week whether I actually have cancer or not but my Dr says that its more than likely. I don't plan on saying anything at all until I know for sure. But when I went to the Dr my kids (7 and 4) had to go along and saw that I was upset and have been asking q's. I don't condone lying and don't want to lie to my kids but I don't want to scare them either. I know when I go for the surgery they are going to have alot of q's. Neither of them are really old enough to understand what is going on. They just know something is up...I really need advice on this one

4 Comments

View replies by

Jawaka - posted on 06/20/2010

70

9

3

I have to agree with everyone else in letting them know that mommy is sick and that you will be going to the doctors so that they can help you get better. As for the other family and friends, you need to tell them exactly what you will be telling your children and explain to them that this is all they need to know for now, if things change then you will be sure to let them know so that they can be supportive to you and your family.
I hope that everything works out for you.

Danielle - posted on 06/15/2010

605

13

21

Thnx for the advice and I'm gonna do it. And I guess I will play it by ear when it comes time to answer q's. The main thing I'm worried about is me telling them and playing it down to being nothing and then them asking someone else (like fmly or friends) and them just blurting out what's going on and scaring the crap outta my kids. But I think I'll just give strict orders not to go into details, and hope they listen to me. Thnx again

Jessica - posted on 06/15/2010

250

0

59

I agree with Lisa-Marie. Just let them know you're sick and you're trying to get better. They really won't understand more than telling them your sick, so I'd just leave it at that. Just remember they're kids and they don't need to know everything, but they need to know something is wrong with mom. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Hopefully it'll all turn out just fine.

Lisa-Marie - posted on 06/15/2010

110

21

16

I am so sorry that you have received such bad news and I really do hope that it works out ok for you. If it were me I would just be letting the kids know that mummy is sick and that you will be going to hospital so the doctors can help you get better. Most children don't need to know details - just the basics but if they ask questions try to explain it as simply as possible. It is also important to stay positive for both you and your kids but it should also be ok to let them see that you are alittle upset. If they get sick they get upset and frustrated so there should be nothing wrong with mummy feeling alittle sorry for her self too. As you said you are not sure at the moment so there is no need to scare them - or yourself at the moment (I know it's more easily said then done)
Good luck and as I said I hope for the best :)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms