How to tell family YOU are the PARENT???

Carrie - posted on 09/18/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I have an issue that is buggin the mess out of ME...My parents and grandparents both treat my son as their own...Whenever I am around I tried to correct him and they always see to take over and say what they think should be...They also try to correct him before I can even get a word out to him about what he is doin...I have even told my son before we go around them I AM YOUR MOM YOU LISTEN TO ME...but that seems not work...



They only do this to him i have 2 other children...WHat can i say or do to make this stop? How do I say it in a tactiful matter without flying of the handle???? PLEASE HELP!!!



Because of this issue I dread goin around them or doin things with them...

9 Comments

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Treva - posted on 09/22/2009

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I have the same problem with my inlaws. My inlaws try to be sneaky about it.You just have to tell them to back off or you cant be around them anymore. Your mom and it's your God Given Right to discipline your child the way you want to. Sorry not trying to yell. I just hate it also when my inlaws do the same thing. I'll pray for you. God Bless!

Bethany - posted on 09/18/2009

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Sounds like you need to just tell them plainly to back off. Tell them they're confusing your son, and that he needs to have his parents be his only authority... not them. And, if they don't listen, you may have to see them less. Whatever it takes, your husband and children are your highest priority. This situation is obviously not good for them, so you need to handle it.

Carrie - posted on 09/18/2009

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I think i am goin to just come out and say what you said...and I stay to myself too for this reason also...

User - posted on 09/18/2009

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Sorry, tact goes out the window for me......I would just plainly state "He is my son, I will take care of it" They may think you are being a butt, but hey you have dealt with enough......I already told my mom and my MIL that I am the mom, and my child is Not theirs.....Sometimes you have to just quit taking the BS. They can either respect you, or they will get over it. Good Luck I think I have been sticking to myself for this reason.....my mom is always doing the same thing and my Alexa is only 5 months old.

Carrie - posted on 09/18/2009

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That is just it Crystal when we are at their houses OR out in a restraunt they still seem to take over and correct him...because of this issue we may see each other once a week if that...where as before it was more...it has even got to the point when my hubby is around that HE cant even be a FATHER because of them...something got to give...WE ARE his PARENTS no one else is...God gave him to us to raise NOT them...

Crystal - posted on 09/18/2009

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How often are you around them? I had a similar problem. My inlaws kept my oldest son until he was almost three. After I had his brother I started staying home with both of them. They let him do whatever he wants and get upset when I get on to him. It was driving me crazy. Finally I decided that when we are in their home it can be their rules(or no rules) and when we are anywhere else it is my rules. This has saved me alot of stress. I let them correct him at their house. It gives me a break and everyone is happy. Good luck.

Dawn - posted on 09/18/2009

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Oh, I see-because they used to keep him some, sounds like they think they are "entitled". That is so frustrating & discouraging! Stick to your guns & hang in there! Will be praying things get better with the situation.

Carrie - posted on 09/18/2009

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No actually he is the oldest out of all the grandchildren and he is the only boy...i dont think it help much when i was a "single" mom that he was with my parents alot due to me workin NONSTOP and REFUSE to put him in a daycare....boy if i knew this was goin to be the outcome I would have put him in a daycare and not worked as many doubles i did...I have sat them down more then once but guess they dont think i am serious guess it time to get ugly about the situation...although i HATE for it to come down to that...

Dawn - posted on 09/18/2009

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Sounds like maybe he's the baby? So diffulcult when your family undermines your parenting skills. I would suggest calmly. talking to the parents/grandparents when your children aren't around (or occupied). Stress to them that there are certain behaviors, values, etc. you are trying to teach your child & that you would appreciate their help and support in doing this. Let them know it only confuses the child mom says one thing & granparents say the something else. Tell them consistency is important in order for your child to learn discipline and self-control. Sounds like your child has already learned he doesn't have to listen to or mind mom if the grandparents are around, because they will let him do whatever. If they still won't support you, when this happens again you could always remind them you need their support or tell them & your child that because teh child is doing/behaving this way & the grandparents are allowing it you will have to go home (when this happens). It may take a few times, but they will start to catch on that you are really serious (I hope), and support your decision.

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