hubby hates it when i give time out to my 2-yr old.

Payal - posted on 06/03/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

77

0

10

he criticises my method of disciplining my daughter when she is throwing a tantrum or throwing phones or books around. i generally pick her up after a couple of warnings and then put her in our room which is a safe place for her to be in for 1-2 minutes. mostly she cries her heart out but i let her do it. after that i open the door and sit down with her and tell her what happened and why. she immediately stops crying and says sorry. my hubby says his heart breaks to see this. am i wrong in anyway. pls. tell me as i feel very let down by him not trusting my method when i am the one sitting at home with our child.
thanks in advance.

5 Comments

View replies by

Christel - posted on 06/04/2010

6

7

0

My husband tried to complain about my discipline methods without offering any useful suggestions as to what I should do instead. So I stopped doing what he didn't like. It took about two months and he was complaining about what a problem our son was. I told him he couldn't have it both ways. Either he helped, or he stayed out of it. You are doing EXACTLY the right thing. Tantrums cannot be allowed, and the sooner you stop them the better. I would let him deal with your daughter for a day or two, and let him do everything his way. It won't kill her to eat weird or miss a nap or two, but it will enlighten him about what you go through, and he might be more supportive.

[deleted account]

You are doing the right thing! My husband USED to go and pull my son out of a time out until he saw where that got us...nowhere! Now he still complains or will go outside for the two minutes (soon to be three...one minute per year). Better a time out than a good old fashioned a_ _ whooping :)

Kristin - posted on 06/03/2010

1,645

40

305

You are doing exactly what you need to do. I say you let him be the main disciplinarian for a day and see how he feels about it after 24 hours are up. But, he also has to be in charge of ALL the other stuff too.



I would tweak the routine just a little. Tell her why she's in time-out as you are putting her there. In 2 minutes (one minute per year), remind her why she was there and that it is not okay to do that. Then hug and move on. As mine have gotten older and can talk more clearly, I ask them at the end why they were there. If the can't tell me, I remind them and tell them I do not want to see that again. A word of praise fromt time to time when she's behaving will work wonders too. Just don't do it all the time, or it ceases to have meaning for them.



Disciplining kids is one of those weird areas of parenting, couples for some reason don't want to talk about it and all the work falls to one or the other. Talk with him about it and tell him that this is a very gentle method of teaching her correct and incorrect behaviors. You are doing a great thing by teaching her good behavior. Keep up the excellent work!

Jane - posted on 06/03/2010

1,488

32

227

you are completely correct. daddy's don't like to see their daughters cry. they don't get that it is our job to prepare her to be successful in life. if he's gonna be okay w/her throwing things around the office once she gets a job, then tell him he can do the disciplining. she'll fail in life if you do it his way.

Kelina - posted on 06/03/2010

2,018

9

235

No you're not wrong. In fact you're doing exactly what i just suggested to someone else, and it's a method that works really well for the daycare i used to volunteer at. Now that she's two though, i wouldn't limit it to a time. She's still crying. When you put her in her room, what happening is you're taking the attention off of her tantrum which is what she wants when she throws it. Now she should be old enough for you to tell her that when she can use her words, then she can come out. Then sit outside her bedroom and wait for her to tell you she's ready to use her words in whatever form she chooses. The tantrums will die down and as soon as she catches on that when she stops crying she can come out, she'll stop really fast! As for your hubby, I would sit down and talk with him. Let him know how you feel when you are the one that has to sit there and listen to her! A lot of the things that are good for our kids when it comes to discipline will break our hearts but that doesn't mean it's not the best thing for them. If you were to give in every time she threw a tantrum you'd have a right little brat on your hands. But since he doesn't like your method, see if he has an alternative one! He might have something else just as good. If not, explain to him why you think this is the best way. Good luck!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms