Husband and a new job

[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )

My husband has been miserable at work. Work has basically taken over his life. We can't do anything (and I mean ANYTHING) without him getting a text or call about work. Some of it makes sense to call/text about, most of them don't.

So he's been looking for a new job. No big deal. I'd rather have my husband back. The problem? his work now told him that he has to give them a date to step down. So that means, if he doesn't find a job in time, we can't pay our bills or rent. He doesn't plan on quitting, since the kids get almost free swimming lessons and we get a free membership. He will not only be taking a cut in hours, but a huge cut in pay ($2+).

I now kind of wish he had kept his mouth shut at work about it.

I did ask him if he wanted to switch, and I work and he stay at home. Child care is not an option. It is way to expensive and I like my kid's not being tyrants and not learning bad behavior from peers. He is afraid to since he thinks that no one will hire him later, even if he goes to school in the mean time.

Right now I'm the one who has to do his job hunting, and sending out resumes. He honestly doesn't have the time. When he's not working he's eating, asleep, or in church.

I have no idea what to do at this point. We can't break our lease and move in with family in the time frame that his work wants his final notice. I'm starting to have panic attacks over the idea that all of the money I've saved up so that we can do fun things or get necessities for the kids will have to be set aside for when he doesn't make enough.

We did it once after he go laid off after our daughter was born. We barely got by with a huge amount of help from family.

I know that if I am freaking out and stressing like crazy that he's feeling even worse. So I don't feel like I should vent out all of my anxieties to him.

I realize this is long, and not really asking so much for help, but venting it out somewhere might help me collect what bits I can, so that I can make some type of half assed plan.

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[deleted account]

I don't have anything to put up for collateral for a loan. We don't own a home and our car still has payments left. I don't want to leave us with debts if the business fails.

Kelina - posted on 07/28/2012

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If it means income for you guys then why not take out the small business loan? As for his work, they sound like jerks to me but maybe if he can take some time off then he can look for work himself? I know I sent out a ton of my hubby's resumes when he was looking for work but he found work a lot faster himself. People tend to respond better when you go in in person.

[deleted account]

I really didn't mean to offend Michelle, it is more of me feeling so over whelmed that I'm a bit pessimistic. Which is unusual for me. I know a number of children who are well behaved and went to daycare. It is more a fear of mine than something I believe to be fact.

I know I'll need to try to find something, job wise. But if his hours are still unpredictable I wont be able to. His schedule last Friday changed 5 times in a 24 hour period. Even if he steps down he can't guarantee he'll be home by a certain time. Otherwise I'd have a night job now. With one car and a bus system that is worse than bad, I really don't have a choice but to wait for him.

I did work in retail before, but that was over 3 years ago. It isn't something I want to return to. But I will, if I have too. It peeves me a bit that this happened now, I have been saving up a bit to start my own business. Now once again that has to go on the back burner. I am trying desperately to start it up without getting a small business loan.

Amy - posted on 07/27/2012

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Is there anyway he can tell his employer that he's changed his mind and that he's happy? You're right he shouldn't of told his employer that he would be stepping down because now they are going to try an protect themselves to ensure they have another candidate in place. We don't do daycare either because of the costs. Right now my husband is currently unemployed but we work opposite shifts both full time. He works evenings 6p-3a and takes care of the kids during the day and I work as a retail store manager so basically whenever I'm needed.

You may have to get something part time to supplement your income if he's forced to step down, or if you won't work he may have to get another part time job to make up the loss of money. It's a tough economy right now and hard to find a job, let alone one that your happy at.

Michelle - posted on 07/27/2012

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Maybe you could find work for the days/times he will be home so you can suppliment the loss in wages.

I also didn't like the comment about kids becoming tyrants by being in daycare. That's not true as all 3 of mine have been in daycare at one time or another and they are very well mannered and well behaved. It does depend on the daycare they go to. I do agree that it can be expensive though.

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