Husband annoyed by baby's crying

Rose - posted on 06/11/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




So my husband seems to be really annoyed with our 3 month old daughter when she's crying or being grumpy. Thing is, he never picks her up and if i don't he either tells me to or he shows how annoyed he is that her whimpering is disturbing his game. He never admits it, he just says "no i'm annoyed with something in the game...".
If he does pick her up on occasion - even when she's calm - at the smallest cry he hands her to me and says she needs her mommy...

I'm so tired of being the only one taking care of this baby.. I love her and love to take care of her but once in a while i need a break - i never get that unless my mom comes to babysit once in a while...


Elena - posted on 06/11/2015




Hi Rose, guess you're tired and exhausted and also it is stressful to have a new baby. Life has to adjust completely. My partner had to deal with our crying daughter because I had huge health issue and could not hold her, lift her, etc.
But he was getting very angry too. I was shocked as he is really good guy. He would get really violent in his expression. I had to order him to leave the baby alone.
WHen I could relax, I started looking at men's psychology and understood that men feel helpless If they can't do anything. This frustrates them. ALso they might feel useless if don't know what to do.

Also there is special connection between mom and baby and dad might feel isolated and excluded.

What I did (a year or less ago):
1) I explained that if things go the same way it will be me and the kid and he will start being more and more excluded and soon it will be family disaster. SHould be me and him together for baby. And like that in life. We are the team, the partners, baby joins, one day baby leaves.

2) I explained very simple tips of baby body and physiology so he understood why the crying, how to hold her, etc., that he could do something - what exactly. I showed I am struggling too, so he does not feel stupid, etc.

3) we got baby carrier and sling with ring - I showed him pics of cool dads and famous people. he could sit in front of the laptop with baby sleeping hanging from him.

Now, 13 months old daughter, he says - she is so cute, we have great baby... he is confident dealing with her. at times he is better than me 'cause babies like to wine with moms...

I am sure it is about personality also but I really hope some of the info helps :) HUGS

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