Husband said I'm lazy, but am I really, I'm doubting myself!

R - posted on 07/11/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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In the morning had an argument with husband and he just said I'm lazy because I woke up 8.50am today! Basically I don't work, I stay at home. I have two kids, one is 4 and the other is 2/1/2. Before I used to breastfeed till my 2nd one was 2, she wouldn't stop so houseworks weren't been done. Her sleep routine was upside down. She would be awake at night and sleep during the day. I had to drop older one to nursery, come home, cook and do some cleaning, laundry etc. but for husband it was never enough. Looks like he wanted spotless house. Before I would ignore it but now we moved to a new house, everyday I get up 5.30 am or 6am but no later than 6. I get ready the kids lunch bags, have a shower, by the time the kids gets up, I'm still running around. I'm still late. I feel like I'm not doing something good. It's not like the kids get up late. Older one gets up latest 7am. My second one latest at 8am, we recently found out she's autistic. So if she's ready and she can't wait she'll take off everything and I have to keep doing it. Nowadays I found husband saying to me I think her pads need changing and even though I'm in the middle of the cooking I have to leave everything and come and change her. He will just go away. Expecting food to be nice. Autistic child doesn't sleep through the nights so my one gets up several times. I go and sometimes I'm with her 2-3 hours all nights. Basically what happen yesterday my 2nd one got up and I asked husband to go and be next to her instead of me because if it's me it will take hours. He did went but already slept. So little one got up from bed and I took her in our bedroom as hubby was sleeping on the mattress on the floor in my little one room. In the morning he got up and came to our bedroom I said come and sleep I'm going anyway. He left and said no and to leave him to sleep on the mattress. I didn't realise he was angry. And me I was thinking to tell him sorry I woke him up and that what for the first time, I woke him up to go to our little on bedroom. My belly button was so sore because little one will keep scratching it until she sleeps and that's the reason I said it. In the morning I said to husband are you tired and about to say sorry. He just said that I went to bed at 9pm which was a lie. Because we had dinner at 9.30 and had a chat till 10.30. I fell asleep on the sofa at 11.30 I still remember as I always look at the time before I go to bed. That I'm lazy etc. I just kept quiet and left. And now kept thinking all day, where did I go wrong. My kids everyday have a bath and clean pj on. Everyday clean clothes on. Everyday fresh food cooked. Everyday laundry is done. Everyday toilet, kitchen are clean properly because my little one goes everywhere. Everyday I have the tantrums of my little one as she's autistic. Lately I had panic attacks I didn't know I was having them for a year. The last time I had it the ambulance came. So it looks like no matter what I do nothing is good. Do you ladies do all your houseworks properly everyday? I don't know what to think anymore.

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Samatha - posted on 07/22/2015

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Being at home is ridiculously hard word. Having an autistic child sounds very challenging. Any way you two can get out for a night? Maybe have a date night away from the kids?

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