Husband soon to return to work.. but mom is legally deaf and scared

Sherry - posted on 03/01/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

305

59

9

There's a good possibility that after a year of being unable to find work that my husband/partner may have a change of luck. Unfortunately, this is kind of freaking me out a bit. I'm a new mom and I have a very very severe hearing loss. Once my hearing aids come out at night I hear nothing... and I do mean NOTHING

What if my baby starts crying? or wakes in the night for a feeding and I can't hear him?
what if my signalling system craters so my lights don't flash to indicate my child is in destress or needs me? What if, because of my deafness my child (who is hearing at present) starts talking with deaf speach (I don't have a pronounced deaf speach but it's there sometimes). How will I know when he's getting into something he shouldn't? What if we have to move hrs away from my present support system? Who do I run to then when I need a break because my boy just won't stop crying?

I'm nervious and admittedly a little scared.. and lately I can't get rid of this aweful feeling like the S**T is going to hit the fan and all hell is going to break loose

Anyone else as paranoid as this mom is? how do you cope?

12 Comments

View replies by

Robin - posted on 04/06/2010

8

0

0

thats what we have, an alert master - you can find it on the Harris website as well :) it can either make the lights go on and off , and the bed vibrate during the night.

MaLinda - posted on 04/06/2010

30

16

1

I am deaf and know many deaf families where both the parents are deaf and they have happy and healthy children. You may want to look at a website called Harris Communications http://www.harriscomm.com/ which makes many products for deaf parents and babies. A sonic boom alarm clock along with a baby cry signaler is a product where a vibrator is placed between your mattress and it will shake you awake any time your baby cries. No hearing aids needed! :) You could snoop around and you may find many products that will help you ease your fears of being home alone with your child. Its Understandable you want to protect and take care of your baby as best as you can.

I am a deaf mom and my husband is deaf as well. We have a happy little one and a half year old. It may help to learn some basic sign language so you can talk and communicate with your little one easier. Reading the lips of a one and two year old is not easy. As well as speech you can look into local speech and hearing centers they often allow hearing children with deaf parents to take speech classes to help if the parents can't talk.

Taralee - posted on 04/06/2010

190

27

27

hi Sherry,



You were speaking of assistance dogs....which will change your life, and improve your comfort and confidence beyond belief. As for quality of life with one of these little creatures, if you explain to your local PADS or Dog Guide organization, they can train a smaller dog to go in a litter box for you or an indoor grass unit. Although, naturally you will have to take them on walks, but for emergencies they can go in the litter box. Also, the three year waiting list is a general guide line, it may happen soon if they don't find the right match for someone. Also, check around because their are a growing number of private organizations which are doing the same training, however the cost may be higher.

Robin - posted on 04/06/2010

8

0

0

i totally understand what you are talking about. Both me any my husband are deaf and I'm currently having my baby sleep in his crib, but in our room. You are right there is only so much a monitor can do. When our baby is crying or even talking through the night our bed vibrates and the lights used to flash. We found the lights woke him up even more, so just changed it to the bed vibration only. The only problem is,, being deaf i can't tell the difference between a "i'm hungry cry" ,or i'm just talking in my sleep, dont pick me up and i'll fall back asleep cry". Everyone asks me why my baby isn't sleeping in his own room yet and I would like him to but I'm scared that if something happens and he's so far away I'll be too far. At least when the bed vibrates and his crib being in the same room i dont get up all the time, i just watch him until he falls back asleep, but I'm scared of him being in another room. I know eventually he will definitely be sleeping in his room. My doctor says I should put him there and if he wakes up let him cry and he will put himself back to sleep. Easier said than done, deaf or hearing mom! The other day we had family over for supper and he was napping and crying but the light in the kitchen wasn't going off - which it is supposed to if hes crying. so everyone said to me the baby is up and crying you know and i looked at the light and it wasn't flashing.. then i said to them - that just made my point - you are all telling me to rely on the light to flash during the night if he wakes up in his room and it just proved it doesn't always work,, so get off my back about moving him out of my room, haha. Anyway,, I am scared of moving him... i know he's probably ready, but I don't think I am. Can anyone offer words of wisdom. So Sherry yes, I am as paranoid and I totally understand... and coping,, well I hope i get some answers as well and thats why i even googled the topic. :) oh and regarding the hearing aid.. i wore mine to bed for the first 2 months when he was in his bassinette, but i have to tell you guys, it's very uncomfortable and when you sleep on it, it gives feedback like covering a microphone so very annoying. i tried sleeping with just one in and staying on one side,, never works,, haha always seem to roll over and then buzzzzzz i'm awake. Also when you wear your aid to bed,, you hav eto listen to your husband snore. We have been together 5 years and i've never heard him snore at night since i always had my aid out, then the first two months, it was incredibly loud because i was wearing it to bed to hear my baby. I thought wow,, have you always snored this loud, haha.

Sherry - posted on 03/03/2010

305

59

9

I know kinda makes things complicated doesn't it? LOL right now going with the flow seems to be the best bet.. I've asked my man the last few days (since he's left really early) to put my son in bed with me so at least when the baby wakes and starts the usual morning kickdance I'll get wholuped one and probably wake up.. So far so good, it's definitely started putting my mind more at ease... though if I can ever get this kid to sleep before 10:30 or 11 (which means a more likely early riser) that might prove a little more difficult since mom is notorious for being a late riser... LOL on the other hand-- my boys last evening bottle seems to be putting us both to lala land lately... we can keep our fingers crossed! Would definitely help me switch my schedule around..

[deleted account]

Buggrit :( sorry! Maybe check out the local craig's list or other online sites for second hand baby video monitors - might be able to pick some up super cheap, or at least see what you might need to budget for. Good luck!

Sherry - posted on 03/02/2010

305

59

9

LOL your right girls I can get an assistance dog for the deaf/hard of hearing. But we're in an appartment presently which makes qualifying for one of these special animals next to impossible. The waiting list is also 3 years.. but I have been thinking of approaching P.A.D.S about getting my name on that list. With any luck by the time those 3 years rolls around we'll have a house and a backyard...



Unfortunately, being on a low income right now the video monitors aren't possible. A good thought though! Something to keep in mind for the next one...



Hearing aids no matter what matterial they're made out of are uncomfortable ... I do sleep with mine in but it usually wakes my man up.. so I've been trying not to-- unfortunately that doesnt' mean my signalling system wakes me up either (oy-- I know if it's not one thing its another grrr)



thanks for all the encouragement ladies.. it's much appreciated

[deleted account]

I'm not hearing impaired, but I once saw a programme where they trained dogs to help hearing impaired people with their daily lives ("hearing dogs")- the dog would come and nudge the owner if, e.g. the doorbell rang, and other daily activities that needed a back up - e.g. the phone light flashing, if the smoke alarm went off. Am not sure how you'd find such a helper dog, but it might be worth asking around your community? That might set you mind at rest if the dog is trained to come and get you if your baby is crying. But other than that, the suggestion to wake up every 2 hours in the beginning is a fair one. One last question - is it possible to get hearing aid(s) comfortable enough to sleep in? Forgive mefor my ignorance if that sort of thing isn't feasible! I used to find myself waking up naturally anyway, because I breastfe(e)d my baby, and back in the beginning, your boobies get very full when it is time for your baby to feed - used to wake me up before he did!! Oh, another random thought - could you put up those baby monitors in your house with video screens too so you can actually see what your baby is up to if you're not in the room with him (e.g. he was in the nursery for a nap, and you did something in another room, and he woke up, you'd be able to see on the monitor that he's awake.

Kristin - posted on 03/02/2010

1,645

40

305

One take a deep breath. You are a mom and much stronger and more resourceful than you know. First, is your husband deaf? Second, is he going to be working nights? If he isn't, then you are stressing about a non-issue. Again, take a deep breath.

I don't mean to make light of your situation, but do try to take these things one step at a time. Can you get an assistance dog? I've heard really positive things about them.

Your child is going to sound like an alien for the first couple of years of speaking, so don't worry about that. When he goes to school or preschool, much of that will disappear. As for getting into things they shouldn't, that's what they do and why we baby proof our homes. You will just need to be a bit more vigilant. If you have to move, you will create a new support system and keep some of the old.

You are a new mom and it is totally normal for even the non blind, hearing mom's to be nervous. Have faith in yourself and your husband, you will figure out what works for you. The S**t will hit the fan, but you are a mom and you will do just fine. Your methods may be a little unorthodox, but if it works.... Just don't forget to care for yourself in all of this. Peace and good luck to you.

Amber - posted on 03/02/2010

23

11

14

I dont know about being deaf, but i am considered legally blind... i went totally blind when pregnant due to my preclapsia but got some of my vision back ... enough so i can take care of my child... and let me tell u one thing... when i was blind i had no idea what to do... everyone that was there for me had to work in the am's so i was doing it all alone.. and it was hard at first but then i got use to it... if u are worried put ur alarm on for every two hours ... a normal baby wakes between then for a feeding... good luck!!!!

Erin - posted on 03/01/2010

15

9

4

You are a Mom, you will see that light through your closed eye lids. Don't worry, it will all come to you!

Good LUCK and by the way, I felt that way! You are not alone but you have to stay strong for your little one!

Erin - posted on 03/01/2010

15

9

4

You are a Mom, you will see that light through your closed eye lids. Don't worry, it will all come to you!

Good LUCK and by the way, I felt that way! You are not alone but you have to stay strong for your little one!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms