husbands

Latisha - posted on 02/27/2010 ( 65 moms have responded )

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Is your husband still interested in you after having a baby?

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Breanna - posted on 03/11/2010

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my cousin in law, she and her husband barely had sex in the 1st place. when she got pregnant the condom broke(i know one of those) well after she got pregnant they didnt do anything the whole time, then after she had the kid she did once, they ended in divorce, he left, sex isnt all of it but it is a big thing, its a way of knowing your partner as more than just a friend, i suggest you talk to him about why he doesnt want to have sex with you, flat out conversation and if hes an ass like my man i understand it is hard but you have to let it be known that it is ruining your relationship, mabey he knows this, he may even be going throught that flight syndrom where hes scared to be a father or he really doesnt want to chance getting you pregnant again, i didnt mean to scare you with my last message but i was enraged when i 1st wrote it, this would be the better thing to do 1st, just gotta handle it and be strong for yourself because you are important to and your needs need to be met as well, and a horny post partum woman is one not to be reckond with

Andrea - posted on 03/06/2010

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I guess I have a great husband because he was. Even when I was 220 pounds cuz of the baby he was. I did have a problem about my weight and being around him naked. So I guess I was mainly the one with the problem because of the way I look, but he tends to reassuse me that he didn't married me because of my weight.

Judy - posted on 03/04/2010

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I've been married almost twenty-five years and survived three kids. Sex drive comes and goes in a marriage. Sometimes you can look at him and think what the heck??? and other times you can look at him and think va va voom as I'm sure is the case with him towards you. The key to success is talking and compromise. It can get you thru the lean times and the lusty times.

Vickie - posted on 03/02/2010

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My husband and I have always been this way. After the birth of our first two he was very ready, and I wasn't. But it always seems like when I am in the mood he isn't and vise versa. It has taken us some time to deal with this, Now I must admit that there are times that we both feel like it is more of an obligation then for fun! Just make sure that you make time for each other, try not to push it at first, start over with an occasional date night (hard to leave the baby I know but you will find it will help your couple relationship). Sometimes it takes getting away from things for a couple of hours once a month or even everyother month to get things back between the two of you. We find if we go to long between our dates we get into a rut and don't even talk much when we are around each other. Hope this helps, I can fully understand where you are coming from! Good luck and God Bless.

Kristin - posted on 03/01/2010

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Yes, I just wish I had the same drive. Unfortunately I feel "touched out" by the end of the day because I am home with our two kids. Men are funny in that they get excited from the groin up and women get excited from the brain down. So, I constantly have to remind him that I need more than 5 minutes of foreplay followed by 5 minutes of ... to get me even in the mood. I need to reconnect with myself before I can be what he needs me to be for us and him. Good luck.

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Candice - posted on 03/11/2010

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My husband is attracted to me the same as before I was pregnant, and was pregnant. After having bub, I didnt want any intimacy until I felt right. Took 7 weeks and I gave in thinking it can;t be too bad - it was HARD as I felt so ugly and not right but once I gave it a try I felt better about myself. When I was pregnant we were intimate about twice. He hated it. I was always so tired - i dont know where he gets the energy from always.As for time for ourselves, we have my mum and dad who look after our baby when we want to go out for the night. Done it twice in 2 weeks and it's just nice being able to spend time together doing what we used to do before our life was dramatically changed :)

Amanda - posted on 03/10/2010

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He seems even more interested in me now than ever before. It's funny how having a baby actually seemed to strengthen our relationship. We weren't expecting to be able to since I have medical problems that have kept me from getting pregnant, so it was a huge surprise. He misses my belly I think more than I do, but having a little one has seemed to only strengthen our love for one another.

Breanna - posted on 03/10/2010

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i had a natural child birth, my fiance said it was grossly fascinating but since i waited the 6 weeks (wich he counted down to) im extremely tight, like a virgin again tight, so at first it hurt but he was so nice i got to redo the whole horrible 1st experience from when i was 15 and drunk, we used to just have sex, now its more like making love and that is totally new to me but im not complaining:-)

Breanna - posted on 03/10/2010

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i am so sorry that your husband is such a dick latisha harper...he acts as if you repulse him...my man is a bit off an asshole too, hes more inconsiderate of my feelings than anything but he constantly tells me that im beautifull and that he loves me so thats reasurring but to be told that all he can think of is that, is just cruel and im not the one to say you shouldnt stick it out but in this case i am, that man soounds as if he'll never want anything to do with you and if he doesnt now, then he either never will or wont for a long time, it all depends on what your willing to take. plus the ever lasting if he's not getting it from you, he's getting it somewhere else wont leave my head on this one

Wendy - posted on 03/09/2010

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My hubby and I have a similar date night thing going Heather! Once a month also, but we drop our son off with a sitter for the night and go out. We don't always have to spend money, somtimes we just go back home and spend the evening/morning together. Doing whatever we want.

Heather - posted on 03/09/2010

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I know how you feel, you go from being able to spend however much time you want with each other to barely getting five minutes alone time. My husband and I have recently begun "date night" Once a month we pick a night and once the kids are in bed we spend quality time together. Each month we take turns picking what we are going to do, it has actually helped us to become more intimate with each other again and has improved our relationship immensly. I did not think that it would make much of a differnce but I was surprised! Just being able to connect emotionally again helped out a lot.

Wendy - posted on 03/09/2010

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My husband is definitely interested still, and we are 7months along with number2. Things slowed down a lot after our first child was born, but that was all me - he tried a lot! I was just too exhausted (honest!! =D) But things have picked up again, and he has never lost interest.

Maria - posted on 03/09/2010

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Yes, indeed he is. Before having a baby, whilst being pregnant and after. Its not easy having 3 young kids and making time for eachother, but you should try. Men feel neglected too!

Ericka - posted on 03/09/2010

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yes, he will love you more...and every inch/lb of fat u gained while having his child..don't worry

BobbiDee - posted on 03/06/2010

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My husband seems to be even more interested since we had our son and he cant wait to get me pregnant again lol

Jessica - posted on 03/06/2010

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Yes! And counting down the days until sex again. Unfortunately for him, it took me three months to heals. I felt guilty, especially because sex was the very last thing on my mind!

Danielle - posted on 03/06/2010

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it took some time and after a 4 or 5 months we were back to our old selfves. we were both just so over whelmed with being new parents and how to juggle everything else there wasnt much time for us really.

Jenna - posted on 03/06/2010

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My husband is one of those guys that is so not interested in me when I am pregnant..or afterwards either! We have 3 sons, 7 years ols, 2 almost 3 years old, and 15 months old. He was deployed when our youngest was 13 days old...so we missed that 6 week mark! He has been home for a few months now and we just can't seem to get back to the way we were. I lost almost all of the baby weight...but that still makes no difference. It seems as though each time I was pregnant he would stray..not ever physically, but mentally. He started chatting with other women online and messing around on dating websites, but swearing on everything that he was still happy. Of course it took a toll on our marriage so we have been going to counseling since he got home...does not seem to be helping though. I am home all day with the kids while he is working, then I have school after he gets home...we just don't have the time for eachother. I'm hoping as our boys get older more time can be made for us...

Shirley - posted on 03/06/2010

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While my husband showered my with affection and love, he was so afraid of hurting me and me being uncomfortable, after especially the first.while we're buisy pushing and breathing, he's seeing the action. It's alot for a guy to take in. alot of blood, pain and tears.Men can't stand to see the women they love hurting and in pain. It takes a bit of time for them to get past all that. but they do.just as we remember only the moment they hand you that beautiful baby.

Melanie - posted on 03/06/2010

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not at first. but mine thought i was dying last time. sooo . maybe hes just freaked at the possiblitly of anothe one.

Zatonda - posted on 03/06/2010

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yep all day. I find they may have a issue if they seen the birth, but they soon get over trying to make another one. lol your mood may change so it may change his mood.

Charlotte - posted on 03/06/2010

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i havent got a husband just a boyfriend but yeah hes still interested just wants to go out a night wich then i feel unwanted but just tell him how you feel x

Bethany - posted on 03/06/2010

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Yes he is! I just had my second a couple weeks ago, and my husband is definitely still interested. :) So am I, and I probably won't wait the 6 weeks. Actually, I know I won't make it. Right now I'm just waiting for the three-week mark to make sure the minor "skid marks" are healed.

Kristina - posted on 03/06/2010

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My husband was more interested in me after i had our son! It was actually kinda exhausting our son is eight weeks old and he still is all over me all the time and he gets worse when it is time to feed our little guy. but i guess i am breast feeding so that could be why!

Marcy - posted on 03/06/2010

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Of course he is. You yourself have to take time for him also. Involve him in your schedule.

Kelly Louise - posted on 03/05/2010

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i have three boys ages from 13 to 6 and yes my hubby just loves to loves me everynite and sometimes i can't wait for that time of month... my first child had alot of medical problems so wasn't as often as it is now .... now he gets antsy after two days... i keep telling him use his imagination... i mean you can get off on the images that go through your mind.... but nah he wants me... hehe sorry i can't help you... at times when we are doing the act i say to him "are you done yet?" because sometimes i don't really care about that part of the relationship... just want him to sit and talk to me like i am human and a person that has views.. and not just a bed partner... and do you know what the scarey part is now??? we have to slip the deed in between when the kids are asleep... i mean we sometimes have neally gotten caught... and that's a convertisation i don't want to deal with at the moment...kelbel

Katie - posted on 03/05/2010

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Not really. It sounds like we have a few things in common. We weren't very intimate while pregnant. He said he was afraid he would "hurt the baby" blah blah blah. I wanted it more than I ever had in my life. After our son was born (22 months ago), his interest has not peaked much since. I try to talk to him about it and he seems uncomfortable talking about it (the first time ever!). He says he is tired or his body hurts from working or whatever. I will spend what energy I have massaging his back or whatever I need to do to make him feel better and hopefully help spark a mood. Unfortunately, it doesn't really help. He is twelve years older than I am. I don't know if he is on the other side of the peak than I am or what. It is very frustrating. I understand what you mean about "not feeling like a couple". Whenever I am feeling really down about the situation, I try to remember that this kind of thing happens - sex drive goes up and down and it can only get better from here... right? I love him very much and I know he loves me. We still have plenty of fun together doing other things and that is very important. It helps me through times like this. God bless you and hang in there. Hopefully it will pass quickly for you and things will be better soon.

Myra - posted on 03/05/2010

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Most definitely. That's how we ended up with the new bundle of joy after Starr came along. ;) Still interested after this one, too (5 ks old tomorrow). I'm the one not interested, though. I don't like being pregnant...but I'm at that age where biology starts doing it's job and tells my brain to shut up, and I want children.

Derika - posted on 03/05/2010

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no, but then i was told when i was 8 months preggo that he wasn't interested in me sexually anymore....needless to say things have been rough.

Amanda - posted on 03/05/2010

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Yeah for some reason it seemed like if I would have let him he would have pounced on me the day after we had the baby. He said he wouldn't like that with his first child so I took it as a compliment.

Joanna - posted on 03/05/2010

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For men, or rather my husband, the only way he can feel close is by having sex with me. He is more interested in sex after our second one. He says he likes my changing body. Puke. I still look 4 months pregnant. Most nights after he works a 12 hour day he'll fall asleep with our daughter and I have to wake him just to come to bed. But when he's in the mood, he finds that energy. He's 49 and says he finds our sex life more satisfying then ever. (Sounds bogus huh?) My husband is not a very good liar. He is brutally honest! I've learned NOT to ask if I don't want the truth!
Sometimes I jsut don't feel that I could turn anyone on. My belly is still big!

Gina - posted on 03/05/2010

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yup i have to beat him off with a stick! but i love it! he also wanted me tons when i was prego he couldn't keep his hands off me even when i was hugely prego. we've always had a great sex life.

Ashley - posted on 03/05/2010

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No, My son is 3 now and my sex life and my romantic has almost come to a screatching holt......My husband works alot and Im home with my son so it kinda hard for us to get some serious alone time. Hes always so tried. So by the time my son is asleep and we have a chance to spend some time together my husband already fast asleep.

Latisha - posted on 03/04/2010

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I guess i just expect a man to want sex. To me it's weird for him not to want it. Im alot younger then my husband and i wonder if that has anything to do with it. I still have the raging hormones

Christy - posted on 03/04/2010

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I have to beat him off with a stick! I am just tired and he is definitely not. He also counted down the days, but I had to just tell him I was not ready.

Cheraki - posted on 03/04/2010

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My hubby counted down the days also... until my 6 weeks was up..
My cousins have said after thier wives gave birth that they weren't interested in having sex with them.. When I asked them why because they wanted thier wives enough before they had the babies.. They told me this.....They seen thier children being born vaingal and they said after seeing how big a vagina can stretch it scared them to thinking that they couldn't satisfy thier wives anymore.. I told them to talk that over with thier wives and that they should understand things eventually go back to normal.. But it could take a little while..

Good Luck and Best Wishes

Diane - posted on 03/03/2010

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All men are different. Some have such high sex drives that they want it all the time whether you are pregnant or just delivered - Which is both a blessing and a pain LOL!Others are afraid of hurting the baby, and the lack of sex throughout pregnancy becomes routine and normal. It may seem that he's lost interest in you, but really all he probaby just needs a little reminder of what he's been missing...

Melissa - posted on 03/03/2010

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I think a OB/GYN Dr. who knows you're history would be better to ask about that big of a body change. Its not fun if it hurts. We need to reassure our partners of that affection (in love making). You might have an issue that needs attention! please make an appt. asap! good luck!

Karan - posted on 03/03/2010

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me and my partner used to be intamate all the time but now we have to book to make love but after out 2nd child its starting to hurt is that normel?

Melissa - posted on 03/03/2010

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My husband said he was (wanting me) even more than before. I think it was because he was seeing me in a different light. or felt as though he was second fiddle now. (better get what i can before i loose a turn)!!!!! lol

Toni - posted on 03/03/2010

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Yes, way to much. He would be ready anytime, he works long hours but he would go to work with no sleep if I wanted to. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy that he still loves the way I look, and is still "hot" for me, but it does get annoying.
We have 4 children, 7,4,2,and 5 months. So I am up at 7 to get my oldest to school, and he is not home until 6-6:30, and sometimes he is out od town for a week or two, so yes, I am tired, and when they are in bed all I want to do is sit and relax.

Ieasha - posted on 03/03/2010

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Yes Ink Ette a little change helps a lot, you feel good they love it change is GOOD.

[deleted account]

For the longest time he was NOT interested in me! When I was about 3 months pregnant and starting to show, his job mysteriously got to be a HUGE demand on his time. He would come home late and crash on the couch... not even wanting to SLEEP in the bed beside me. By the time I was 6 months pregnant he had arranged himself his own 'room' to sleep in, not even a pat on the butt at the coffee pot!
After the baby was born, things didn't change. He kept on sleeping in the other room. Of course we would sit down and have huge talks about it. He finally told me AFTER the baby was born that he had been afraid of hurting me or the baby. (he weighs 275lbs I weighed 160 at my worst)
He continued to sleep in the other room.
When the baby was 9 months old, I got my hair done. It was a bit of a drastic change, I had always worn my hair straight down my back.. long, with not even bangs. After the baby started to grow, he used my hair like Rapunzel... and would lift himself to standing by pulling on my HAIR! So I got it cut off. My best friend talked me into a few highlights... to hide my grey ;) I got home from that and felt really off kilter, because my hair looked dynamic, but I'm standing here in jogging pants and a tshirt with a yellow stain over one boob. I went and dug out my pre-pregnancy clothes.
Do I even need to say that I 'got some' that night? He moved back into our bed, sleeps with me every night... and the nookie is regular, like it used to be :)

Sarah - posted on 03/03/2010

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my kids are 4 and 5 and we are only just getting to 'date' again. it takes alot of time and patience to get the marriage back on track after the kids invade. I find it helps if we are both on the same page with our parenting and we make it a point to never argue in front of the kids. This actually works better for us coz we have to wait til they are in bed to have it out and by then we are calm and talk instead of yell. Dunno if sex will ever be the same again (doubt it after this long!) but we are intimate in different ways, lots of hand holding and cuddling and thats all in front of the kids!! :)

Nadine - posted on 03/03/2010

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If we had our baby we did drift apart. I had a c section and went through pretty bad post partum depression. then after a month of the c-section a had my gallbladder removed. He was wonderful about it, but I just wanted to run away from everything. I also felt ugly and fat, and exhausted. although he never made me feel that way. It takes time to heal after such a life changing experience. Eventhough it wasn't true, i felt like he didn't want me anymore. I believe that most men will want to you more and feel closer to you after you have a child of them. It makes you feel like a real family. although after firt giving birth you may think he feels differently. remember our hormons at that time are going crazy.

Jessie - posted on 03/02/2010

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I just love this post! I am a mother of two kids. However, I am the one who's always wanting to 'play'! He doesn't, which makes me feel terrable. I gained 40 lbs in 3 days with my first pregnancy. I had pre-eclampsia and was very ill. I sill have most of that weight and wonder if that's the problem. He says it's not, that he's just not always wanting it....REALLY, you're a man!

Cheryl - posted on 03/02/2010

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hormones play a BIG role in these feelings, I believe its gods way of keeping you from getting prego AGAIN so soon, my hubby is still trying to find his place with the 3rd one on the way, he still feels left out and I haven't played into that much, I don't have the time or I should say the ENERGY, if he did more housework, I would be more likely to spend more quality time with him but I know that won't happen and then I get a little resentful and I think that has a lot to do with intamacy as well. Hang in there, sometimes the ONLY thing to do is have a date night and if its on the schedule it might actually happen and sometimes its just what you both need, it connects you and thats the missing link with marriage and carriage, you NEED to have a daily connection even if its 5 minutes or a hug, mainly some type of touching to feed your emotional needs.

Latisha - posted on 03/01/2010

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yeah men don't seem to care about foreplay. that's what gets you in the mood. guys don't get it. we feel bad enough about our body after having a kid. we don't need them to reject us it just makes you feel worse about yourself. Anna luckly i had to have a c-section but my husband saw them cut me open and he says that's what he thinks about so he doesn't want to be near my hoo-haa.

Wendy - posted on 03/01/2010

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Anesia, I am with you! My husband was ready to pounce after my 6 week check up and I didn't want anything to do with it. I was the same way after our first daughter. It takes me almost a full year to get my hormones back in order and regain my "want" again.

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