Husbands friend/wanna be mother in law

Christina - posted on 07/22/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )

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I have this major issue with my husbands friend/wanna be mother. She always treats me and two of our daughters like crap. Last time she was here for a visit she made a few comments about my 2 yr old, and was making rude comments about me, in front of my husband. For the past 3 years I have done my best to ignore it and just smile, but this last visit left a bad taste in my mouth. She tried to get my husband to open a joint account with her, and then wanted his signature only on the house deed. She paid off his car loan, and right in front of me said that he's the only one to be on the title. She comes here and tries to act like she's his wife and completly pushes me out of the picture. I've had her tell me that I had no self worth, self respect because of the type of job I had. Money is money, not like I was out on a street corner, I was cleaning houses for heaven sake. Every time she visits we have to take her around, and then she say's I had a great time with you Joey. Hello! I was told about her visit for Aug. I was like wtf! I told my husband to call her back and let her know that Aug is not a good time. He simply told me " if I do that, then she'll know that I talked to you about it." well hello, I'm your wife, I'm supposed to have a say, right? Besides, I'm the one stuck with her all damn day long, not him! Any advice on this, I seriousily need some. Plz don't tell me to beat the crap out of her, that's what I already want to do.

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Kat - posted on 07/25/2011

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Um, honestly, you need to draw some boundaries for her. I have no idea why YOUR husband is signing any financial papers for her. That makes no sense to me. You need to tell him that you are uncomfortable with her level of presence in his life and that you don't want her in your house around your children, and if she is in front of you, I recommend sticking up for yourself if she says anything disrespectful to you. No offense, but clearly no one else is going to stick up for you and your children. It sounds to me like she wants to play house with your husband and you need to make it clear that her behavior is unacceptable and unappreciated. As much as I'd love to see you knock her out, she'll be flabbergasted if you take the "high road" and lay down the law calmly and confidently in front of her and (especially) the hubby.

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Stuck in the middle of his wife and a "friend". Hell no, id do myself and him a favor and get him unstcuk real quick. And the hellllllll if my husband female friend would come stay at our home, pay his car note?, and disrespect.me. Sorry but theres more to this story than being told.

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Sorry to say but if it were me Id seriously be reassesing a relationship like that between my husband and female friend. Your husband is not supporting you and your wishes about this woman, is letting her say what ever she wants, theres something off about that.... she doesnt have to like you but she does have to respect you and your marriage.

Kelina - posted on 07/22/2011

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well why would he set up the visit without asking you frist anyways? what if you'd made plans? doesn't he know how you feel about this woman? and doesn't he find it odd that she's giving him all kinds of money and wants to open a joint account with him? how far away does she live from you guys? If my husband were ever to do that he would be in some serious shit. I don't even put up wth that kind of stuff from his family and I expect him to stick up for me. I'm his wife, he chose to join his life with mine and have children with me and your hubby should be thinking along the same lines. I would tell him if he wants her to come visit for august then he needs to entertain her, she needs to find a hotel, and he sure as hell better stick up for you. Family, I'd sayt grin and bear it. friend? not a chance.

[deleted account]

Well... who is this woman and why does she act like she has a right to behave this way in your home ? If its like that every visit I would be putting a stop to it. Nobody has a right to go into your home and like your not even there or like they run things. And its kinda weird that your husband doesnt support you about it. As for working, cleaning homes is an honest living dont ever feel like its low or not enough, work is work and in this economy today you take what you get get for the most part. Im not even on my husbands bank account... I have no need or reason to be, but id be damned if some one else tried talking him into adding them, I dont care who it is!



And yes you do have a say as to who is in your home, If I were you Id call her myself and tell her and then tell my husband to either grow a set and support you or you will handle visits from now on.

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I agree with Elizabeth! There is NO WAY come hell or high water that this would fly in my house! He has a choice to make. You and the kids, or her. You need to sit him down and set him straight.

Christina - posted on 07/25/2011

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I have told my husband many times that this bothers me and that he needs to say something and do something about this. Every time I bring it up we end up arguing. He feels like he is stuck in the middle. I told hime to just imagine how I feel. And then he starts this pity crap, like it's all my fault. I told him, yes it is your fault. And I ended up sleeping alone last night, and he wouldn't talk to me this morning. As for her being family, no she is not. They have known each other for years, and I do believe she is very jelous .that I ended up with him. I found out that my husband didn't go a head and do the joint checking account with her. I thank you all for your thoughts and help in this matter.

Stifler's - posted on 07/25/2011

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BAH. Who is this bitch, is she even related? I would be furious at my husband for letting this shit carry on.

Jennifer - posted on 07/24/2011

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If you have kept your mouth shut about all this, how is your husband supposed to know all this is bothering you? It sounds like you really need to sit down with him and explain everything and your feeling about what has been going on. He's probably thinking that since you have never said anything, that you are fine with the way things are. It's obvious to you, that this woman has over stepped her boundries, but men sometimes just don't get it.

Corinne - posted on 07/24/2011

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Woah nelly! Something sounds really off here. Why is he putting this 'friend' before you and the children? I've had the same thing but it's the M.I.L and I gave my husband a choice, grow some or pack your bags and go live back home. You need to stand up and make it known that you've had enough and it stops - now.

Amie - posted on 07/22/2011

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I agree with Brandi. There is no way, ever, that I would allow this to happen. No friend of my husbands (female or not) would treat me like such crap. They don't have to like me or spend time with me but when in our home, they do have to respect me and our family - which includes the kids.

I'm also not above smacking around someone who gets snarky about our kids though. Don't mess with the babies, ever.

He needs to start acting like your husband and she needs to be gone, for good. It sounds like that is the only way this won't end in ruin for your relationship. Especially since it keeps getting worse.

She sounds like she is after him and jealous that you got him. That's just what I see from the two posts though, there may be something I'm missing??

Christina - posted on 07/22/2011

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I have said many times that I'm tired of her coming all the time. She's not family...I have kept my mouth shut out of respect for my husband. They have been friends for a long time. But I can't do it any more. I told my husband that she needs to stay at a hotel and rent her butt a car. i don't have room for her crap anymore. It makes me mad that she's allowed to say whatever about me and his two daughters. She's never liked me from the get go. And omg...thank goodness she is in California.His family and I get along great, his mom is wonderful. But this lady is ruining our relationship.

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