i am a pre teen mom, when it's time for the talk ,how will i know

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sarah - posted on 01/28/2010

3,880

14

1082

I would say around 9 yrs. I was talking with my doctor and she mentioned that some girls get their periods at 9 yrs. I was shocked it was that early! I was thinking 10/11 was early. So, as a mom I would want to talk to my daughter to let her know what will be happening BEFORE it does. Then spinning off that talk I would talk about sex. To me the "sex talk" is not just one talk, it is a talk that goes on throughout their pre-teens and teen years. You start at a beginning point and then go from there. Let your child lead, but also keep in mind that it is better coming from you first versus someone else. So there will be some things you will want to talk to her about sooner than later with allowing her to then ask you questions about what you have talked about. My doctor recommended the American Dolls book about changing bodies. I found it at Barnes and Noble. It is a fun book that a pre-teen would have fun reading. My daughter is 8 yrs. and has asked many questions about where babies come from and what is sex. We watched a show on Discovery Channel that goes from conception to birth. We missed the conception part (which I was glad about at the moment, she had not asked about what sex was). It was a good show that was done very well. We watched it together, so she could ask questions about what she saw. Each child is different and going to be ready for different information at different stages. You know your child best so go with that. Usually schools start having the changing bodies/sex talk by 5th and 6th grade, so I would start talking before then. Then again when they have that talk. As her body changes you can also talk about things again. Don't overdo the talking but don't underdo it either. You do it too much and they start to tune you out. You do it not enough and then the feel they can't come and talk to you (even if you say they can always talk to you).

Paige - posted on 01/28/2010

195

29

13

I would start sooner rather than later. It seems like little girls are growing up SO fast now days. I have a friend whos 11 yr old daughter started her cycle. 11!! I imagin it was tragic. You just don't want to be caught off guard. I think it was around 10 I started with my daughter. Good luck.

Maria - posted on 01/28/2010

43

88

0

It's important to do it early. Allow it to be a normal part of your personal conversations. Educate her on each subject (periods, sex, puberty, liking boys) as apposed to sitting her down for one big "talk". It'll be less uncomfortable for her when it's a learning thing in between Mom and Daughter. Make sure she knows that it's not taboo to talk openly with each other about anything. Teens are prone to hide things when they think they might get into trouble for certain things they may be curious about. Best of luck!

This conversation has been closed to further comments

12 Comments

View replies by

Deb - posted on 12/19/2011

54

0

2

I agree with Maria Delgado. I have 3 daughter at home and its a normal part of the conversation around here, which the men haven't been to thrilled with at times, the girls are so comfortable with it now, they don't care if their dad and brother are in the room during what they want to discuss or not and that is has been good because the men in the family are learning that women are different and have different feelings, needs and concerns than men. It has caused a new respect for women. It is good for kids to know how both men and women react differently to things. giving them a positive image now, will build stronger relationships relationships in the future.

Jackie - posted on 01/29/2010

623

44

93

The talk should start from birth. So you need to get on it already you are a few years behind. Just be honest and open. If you don't know the answer admit it and research it. Do not pass on misinformation if you can avoid it.

Jennifer - posted on 01/28/2010

178

12

18

my oldest is 6. i guess all her life we've been talking about that stuff to some degree. little bits of info in response to her questions. use their questions as a guide. you are better to give a little info at a time rather than one big talk. it's too much all at once.

[deleted account]

age nine... tell him everything do the sex talk and the puberty talk. you dont hve to be super detailed with sex talk as he gets older you can add anything you think is important. You want to be the first person to tell them about these things not their friends. If your kids are older than 9 you may have to straighten out anything they have heard just make sure they have the correct info.



i have an almost 13 year old girl and i started talking to her when she was 9. Now she asks me questions about what she hears at school and I tell her the truth. I am just happy she is comfortable talking to me about that stuff.

Theresa - posted on 01/28/2010

1,310

22

236

Our school gives the "changing bodies" class at the end of 4th grade. They say by then many girl are getting their periods already. I thought it might be a little early, but viewed the class ahead of time and had my boys both go through it. They didn't get into sex really, just how bodies change. I would start about 4th or 5th grade. Start talking lightly and see how your child responds. Some aren't ready at the same time others are. Some want more detail, some less. Take ques from your child and make sure he/she knows that they can come to you with any questions. Remind them that it may be emberassing for them and for youtoo, but it's best if they learn the truth from you instead of possible wrong info from others. My oldest son is a very private person. I told him I knew it was emberassing and I told him that honestly I was emberassed too, but I wanted him to get the facts from me, no one else. I think knowing that I was emberassed as well made him feel a little more comfortable. Hope thank helps, good luck.

Honesty - posted on 01/28/2010

4

9

0

my daughter is turning 10 next week and we talked about periods about 2 yrs ago mostly because I started when I was 10 I just wanted her to be prepared and she was always checkin out my tampons. Then just a month or so ago she started getting a little more developed in her chest so we went and picked out bras to gether and talked about "growing boobs" so now she's cool with it and she has 3 cute new bras. So next will be boys, then sex talk doing it in stages seems easier and more comfortable for everyone. One step at a time LOL! I will add we are a very open and tightknit family and want to keep it that way.

Jennifer - posted on 01/28/2010

223

59

11

Probably now is a good time, even if she is not "developing" yet, chances are that one of her friends is and she will be learning information from others... I didn't develpo until I was 14, but all of my friends did at 11 or 12, so by the time my mom chatted with me, I had already learned everything from my friends.

Maria - posted on 01/28/2010

43

88

0

It's important to do it early. Allow it to be a normal part of your personal conversations. Educate her on each subject (periods, sex, puberty, liking boys) as apposed to sitting her down for one big "talk". It'll be less uncomfortable for her when it's a learning thing in between Mom and Daughter. Make sure she knows that it's not taboo to talk openly with each other about anything. Teens are prone to hide things when they think they might get into trouble for certain things they may be curious about. Best of luck!

Michelle - posted on 01/28/2010

485

19

95

I am not there yet but I would start talking as soon as her body starts to change, I would talk about a womens cycle and simple stuff. It might be easier to talk in the car or someplace like that. I would also let her ask any questions she may have, let her know she can ask you anything or if she wants she can talk to a doctor. Let her know the her friends may not know everything and it is best to ask you or a doctor.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms