I am having troubel with My 15 !!!!

JerrieAnn - posted on 03/25/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Iam having trouble with my 15 year old son. He is very respectful.. to everyone but me. I have tryed every thing. All I hear from his trachers is how well behaved he is, even when he is at someone else house.They say is they wish their son was like him. And all I can thank is I wish I was them, just so I can see that they see.I know alot of it is him being 15 and a boy. I just wont some of what eveyone else gets.Anybody got anything that might help me.

JerrieAnn

JerrieAnn

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BRANDI - posted on 03/26/2010

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I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM.I HAVE FOUND TAKING AWAY DRIVING PRIVL.IPODS PLAYSTATION 3 SPORTS TIME ANYTIME HE ENJOYS DOING HIS STUFF IS REPLACED BY CHORES AND HELPING AROUND THE HOUSE MORE FOR HIS MOUTHYNESS AND "KNOWING IT ALL"I JUST EXPLAINE TO HIM FOR EXAMPLE BECAUSE YOU SEEM TO KNOW EVERYTHING IT WOULD BE BEST FOR YOU TO CLEAN THE TOLIETS BECAUSE YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT THEM THEN I DO OR WHEN HE IS BEING A JERK TO HIS LITTLE BROTHERS I WILL TELL HIM TO GO DO A CHORE TO WORK HIS ENERGY OFF AND IF HE IS BEING PHYSICAL LIKE FLICKING THEM OR PULLING HAIR ETC.HE LOSES DRIVING PRIVLAGES FOR A WEEK AND DOES LOTS OF EXTRA CHORES AND DOES ALL OF THE ONE HE HAS HURT FOR A WEEK ITS CHILDISH BUT IT WORKS I WILL NOT ALLOW ONE PERSON TO MAKE OUR HOUSEHOLD SO MISSERABLE SO IF IT TAKES GETTING ON HIS LEVEL AND TAKING EVERYTHING HE ENJOYS AWAY FOR HIM TO GROW UP AND RESPECT PEOPLE SO BE IT!!!!!!!!!

Kristin - posted on 03/25/2010

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He's testing his boundaries with you. You are safe and will love him unconditionally. However, you do not have to tolerate his behavior. Perhaps the "if you are going to act like a 3 year old, I will treat you like a 3 year old" talk needs to happen. As a not quite adult, sit him down and tell him what you expect from him. Tell him what he can expect from you. The car or folding laundry is a good time to start much of this as it takes the pressure off.

Teenagers are mercenaries, so you can always hold them hostage through money and privileges. Good luck.

Lisa - posted on 03/25/2010

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A lot of teen boys go through a phase where they are trying to start "acting like a man." I have four boys and so far two of them have gone through this in one way or another. Inexplicably, it seems to include rudeness to the woman in charge - Mom. This seems to happen right around the time that they realize they are stronger and/or taller than you.



I think that some boys think that they cant be a man if a woman is bossing them around. I KNOW that sounds silly to a grown up, but acting like a man is serious business to a 15 year old boy. They are getting lots of conflicting signals from society, not all of them good.



There is no real magic bullet to fix it, but here are a few ideas that, over time, seemed to work for me.



1. Arrange for him to spend some time with a male family friend that he respects. Ask that friend to initiate a conversation about how much he respects you, how lucky your son is to have a Mom who works so hard to provide a nice home, etc.



2. Try to catch yourself before you do anything to treat him to "kid-like." Give him the "as you get older, you will get both greater privileges and greater responsibilities" speech. Then praise him every time that he behaves responsibly by telling him that he is being very mature. Reward responsibility with privileges that before now, he was "too young" to do.



3. When you have him trapped in the car, initiate little conversations about things you think he will need to know when he is an adult. Driving rules, checking accounts,the adult way to behave in different situations, whatever comes up.



4. Don't let overt rudeness pass unchecked. Think like an Alpha. "Look bub, I work my butt off all day to pay the bills around here, if you aren't mature enough to respect that, you don't deserve (fill in the privilege here). If you let him be rude with no consequences, you are admitting that you are weak, and he doesn't need to respect you. (No yelling or hysterics, just firmness.)



You may help the situation by letting him think that you see him as a proto-adult, rather than someone who still sees him as a child.



It won't happen overnight, but in time he'll get the message that part of being an adult means respecting the people in charge and behaving responsibly.



Good Luck, Mom!

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Misti - posted on 03/25/2010

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i feel your pain....my son is 15..he acts the same way....i wish i could help, but maybe know you are not alone.....

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