I am in desperate need of help moms!

Kellie - posted on 11/08/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )




Okay so I am a full time stay at home mom with three kids and currently working online to get through college. My soon to be husband works full time about forty to fifty hours a week. Works extremely early mornings and works into the evening. So in the beginning I made a lot of mistakes with my third. Once my son was 6 months old he started to hit a patch where he would not sleep in his crib anymore. It seemed no mater what I did he would not sleep without me. Than by 13 months it got to the point that I would have to stay up till 2-4am till he crashed out. Than finally now at 16 months he just wont sleep alone period. I am with him 24/7 always have been. My fiance has helped but does very little either always working or always tired. He helps where he can and with the two oldest as well. I have not slept in bed with my soon to be in a very long time. Someone please help me get my life back. I love my kids dearly. But I need to regain my adult life. The biggest problem I have is I have for about a year and a half been used to staying up till 2-4am. So now my sleep schedule all messed up. My two oldest go to bed when their suppose too thankfully. But it seems it is always me and my son. I love him but I feel like were smothering each other. So my question is anyone please give me suggestions on how to get the sleep schedules back on task first and foremost and also to get my son back into his crib and lastly get to the point where I do not need to rock him to sleep or wait it out. I feel he should be going to bed on his own and to be able to soothe himself back to sleep if he should wake up and whine. So what has worked for you ladies? Please any help at all is greatly appreciated! Thank you.


View replies by

Jennifer - posted on 11/08/2009




Consistancy is very important, once you choose to change a routine you have to stick with it wholehearted and can't give in! You could try gradually making the change from your bed to his own. Decide what time you want his bedtime to be make a routine at night so he knows what is coming (bath, story or quiet time). Take the side off his crib and place it against the side of your bed and make him sleep in his bed with you on your bed. He will still be right next to you and you can even hold his hand and touch him so he knows that you are there. If he tries to get up or get out of the bed you consistantly place him back in his own bed right next to you. This may take several days or even weeks depending on how stubborn your child is. Once he is sleeping there for a few days then you can put the side back on but still right next to your bed and able to touch you and see you through the side. Once he has mastered that then move the crib away from your bed, he can still see you but not touch you. Then put him to bed with you not in the room and eventually make it into his own room. It may take a lot of time and a lot of sleepless night to get it right, but consistancy will pay off in the end. Good luck, I hope this helps!

Lisa - posted on 11/08/2009




take him to his bed and take him at the time the other ones go to bed make it like a wee family routine and make a fuss of it and for the first week u lie with him or sit were he can feel you there until he sleeps dont talk to him its just so he knows that u r there now when he does wake up he will come into u but u must lift him and put him back to his on bed do not give in or its back to square one. then the 2nd week dont lie with him just sit in the room then just the third week u put him down and stay at the door and the forth week dont stay in the room just put him down and walk out he may cry but you have to be strong. u can change that to a few days per stage. when u take him to bed even read him a story then lights of and then start. it helps if he has a favourite teddy or something that he can hold as well.

that is what worked for me it does be a little hard if they start crying but you stick to it and it will work.

good luck.

Elisabeth - posted on 11/08/2009




Supernanny would say the same thing! Look her up on you-tube. It will feel very draining to retrain him (and you) but it will be worth it.

Melissa - posted on 11/08/2009




1st i would contact my health visitor for support!! and the i would clear my diary for 3/4 days and see if the kids can stay at a friends or parents so its just you and your son!! stop any form of nap after 3pm and then start with a bed time routine dinner play bath and bed, and keep telling him that,thats where he is going and put him in to his cot at a time that suits YOU and not him,then sit on the floor and let him winge it out,he then knows you are right there and your not going anywhere,make the whole thing intresting bed time story soothing music lights down low,you are the adult....you can either sit there with him not talking to him just gentle shhh noise or leave the room and keep going back and reassuring him you havent left!! it is hard and i appreciate that some may not be able to do,it took me a long time to do with my 3rd but in the end it was ruining my life and effecting me and my hubby i was always moody through being tired,you have to weigh up whats more important!! pandering to your son or your sanity!!! good luck and i hope it works out for you he will cry a lot but he will go off eventually and each night will be a bit easyer the 1st 2 are the worst,get your partners support and help on board!! i say have a week of hell and a life time of good sleeping!! the thing is the other 2 can do it and you did it with them you can do with this one!! good luck xxx do ring the health visitor and listen they do help xxx

[deleted account]

I have a simular problem with my daughter because my hubby is in the Army and not home alot... she is afraid to be left alone cause she thinks daddy wont come back for a long time she is about 15 months old. We found a movie that really caught her attintion... *SP Fixed her a smoothie of bananas and milk in a cuppy and let her cry it out the first night.... I know its hard at first (it might last a few days) but once she realized all her comfort items were in there and me or daddy would get her in the morning (we have a wake up song to make her laugh) she is doing much better! Also look at his nap schedule and make sure he isnt napping too late in the evening... also again it might be hard but sometime crying it out is the best way... they end up waring themselves out... my daughter crys sometimes cause she is just bord so we try to stimulate her constantly... just try and see... every baby is different u have to find what works for your child and you! GOOD LUCK!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms