i don't want to become my mom!! :(

Nayuribe - posted on 07/19/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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my mother was a SAHM, she did EVERYTHING! she cooked, cleaned, picked us up from school to take us to swimming every day, and by bus!! she is a good mom. she did all that, and much much more, except one thing: she was emotionally unavailable, i guess she was so busy doing everything else that she didn't stop to think how she felt.
and i guess i learned that from her, when i was a kid, i kept all my feelings inside, i didn't even smile for pictures! i had a hard time during my teen ys, even ended up in the hospital once, i was a couple of months away from turning 18 so they didn't put me in the spique ward, they released me to my parents with the promise that i wouldn't be back for the same reason EVER. so far, i've kept my promise. i was in therapy for many ys, i learned to deal with my feelings, and to recognize the symptoms.
recently, i've noticed that i'm not all there for my kids, i'm becoming my mom!! i do everything in the house, for my kids and my bf, but when the time comes to sit with my girls, i can't do it, i'd rather do dishes, or laundry, or scrub the bathroom, how crazy is that???
all my life i've wanted to be a mom, and i thought i'd be a fun mom, but i'm not, turnes out i'm just a stressed, tired mom, i'm 28 but feel like i'm 40. it makes me sad! :((

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Take a day off. Take your kids outside to the park or something. Be a kid again by playing with them. When you are done ask them how they felt that day. It will make is easier for you to say "yes mommy felt happy when we did...." Sometimes as Moms we do forget that our children need to have emotions expressed and we get tired and stressed. I find taking a day or even a few hours helps me to refocus on my children. It reminds me of WHY I do what I do and try so hard for them. I hope this helps. Not really sure it is what you were looking for.

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Ashley - posted on 01/29/2012

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My mother was the same. I find that trying to be not like her I end up having the same traits. I find some moms are made to be stay at home and some enjoy to go to work so when they do see their kids they really want to be with them. It's hard to force yourself to be perfect in every area. I think you need to set goals out like every aspect in life. Set time aside to take him or her to a play group. Take time to just sit on the floor with him. Take time to read at certain parts of the day. Get him involved in what your doing. All these things count and add up. Don't be to hard on yourself. I always feel like I'm not doing everything I should but as long as you but in effort. Hope things get easier for you. Your a good mom, remind yourself of that!!!!

LaToya - posted on 01/29/2012

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Wow, sounds like something I would've wrote. Crazy thing is I was just thinking the same exact thing today. I'm a SAHM. I play with my son and teach him new things everyday. He is 20 months old and absolutlely the love, joy, and inspiration of my life. However, whenever I get a little "time to myself" (because lets face it we love and adore our kids BUT we do need me time every so often) I too find myself, cleaning, dusting, organizing, picking up after people, cooking etc. The only time I actually use my "me time" is when I shower and thats not always dedicated time to me. I sometimes take my son in there also because it is easier for me to clean him and I at the same time instead of individually. I'm also 7 months pregnant and still "ticking away" I guess I should slow it down. I dread the Nesting Stage...lol

Katrina - posted on 07/20/2011

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no one is a perfect mom. My husband always tells me that its not the amount of time you spend with your children, its the quality. I wanted to be a fun mom too, but I'm not the mom I want to be & I sometimes feel guilty. I try to make a few min a day to just focus on my daughter...I know its not a lot, but our time is when she goes to bed. I'm a sahm too.

Stifler's - posted on 07/20/2011

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I feel exactly the same. I have no idea how to chill out. When the kids are setltled I'm like SHOULD HANG OUT THAT LAUNDRY/strip the beds and wash sheets, scrub the shower etc.

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