I dont know what to do!!

Jackie - posted on 05/15/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )

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My son is 20 months and will not stop biting! How do i get him to listen? I yell at him all day long and he will not listen i have tried everything!! Time outs wont even work! Please help!

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Danielle - posted on 05/23/2010

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She was prob between 2 and 3 years old. I'd try it if I needed to! (It's not like she broke skin or anything. My mom is a good mom. It was just enough to show her that what she was doing hurts!)

Susan - posted on 05/17/2010

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Just something to consider but could the biting be a sensory issue? Some chidren like the feeling/pressure that biting gives them. If you google chew toys they have a range of toys or possibly try some deep pressure therapy where you press the head and teeth (not hard but hard enough to satisfy the sensory need) I tried that with my son who used to bit everything and it eased the biting. Good luck

Danielle - posted on 05/17/2010

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My sister was a huge biter until one day my mom bit her back! Hard! She never did it again!

Marie - posted on 05/15/2010

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Of course it is hard to know what is going to click with your son and be what works, and I hope I did not come across mean.
I'm sorry that you're feeling frustrated, it can be so hard. I know that I feel frustrated a lot. My two year old has recently started hitting occasionally.. not fun.
Something that I think is important is positive reinforcement. If you are yelling all day at him for doing "bad" things, then he may think that is the only way to get attention. Be sure to praise the good things that he does, I don't mean that you have to praise every little thing that he does, just make sure that he knows that even though he bites, he still does other things that are good!
I have always thought it was important to explain, even though they were young. Removing him from the situation, redirecting his attention.
Perhaps your son just wants attention. Everyday I spend "special" time with each of my kids. The get my sole attention- no interruptions. Some times it even is just snuggling, but they feel like #1.

I think it is extremely important to be consistent. Whatever you decide to try, you need to do it every time. It may take several days, a week, and trial and error. Just remember, if you were doing something bad, how would you like to be treated?

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[deleted account]

Ok, I'm not trying to be rude but if you don't want to be judged then don't post in a public forum! I think it's wrong and I'm entitled to my opinion also! I won't go on and on about how well behaved my daughter is but I will say that all I have to do is say, " NO! " and start counting....before I even get to 3 she's stopped what she's doing! I've never even had to use a time out and I'm sorry but biting a child because they bit you is NOT the answer, IMO of course!

To each their own!

Danielle - posted on 05/23/2010

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Bruises are one thing but a lesson learned is another. I do not know a child who only responds to time outs and "no no"! They are good for the first few tries but it doesn't always work. Please do not judge others for their style of parenting. It's just plain "not nice"!

Angel - posted on 05/23/2010

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You think its wrong and are therefore appalled. I have no shame for my actions and put them out there for others to see. Its called a discussion board for a reason :)

[deleted account]

I'm appauled....WOW! I wish I'd been there to see that happen, ladies! I can't believe you'd admit that...

Angel - posted on 05/23/2010

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For two years my son bit. At daycare, at home-anywhere and anyone. Tried distraction, removal from playtime, cold chewies, hot chewies everything suggested here. My husband and I even took him to the dentist to see if there was anything going on. These all failed. When at four, he bit me on the shoulder and broke the skin enough was enough. I bit him back. I didn't break the skin and I didn't even leave a mark but from his reaction the world had ended. He never bit me again and slowly he stopped biting everyone else. Some kids bite and it sucks, just remember they will stop eventually! LOL

Jessi - posted on 05/23/2010

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He will grow out of it my daughter was the same way. I tried yelling at her putting her in time outs and even biting her back that didn't even stop her. I'm not saying don't discipline him 4 it. I told Chessi "No Bite" after i popped her mouth and eventually she grew out of it.

Chelle - posted on 05/17/2010

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Sometimes biting can be a sign of frustration, anger, defiance or teething. We used to call our little one a pirahnna when he first started teething as he was lunging at everything with his mouth open. If he is teething, then rusks and there are a number of teething rings or toys that can help to soothe and relieve pressure as well as teething gel.



Loch did start to bite a little for a while when he didnt get his way but thankfully that seemed to be nipped in the bud. He knows how to blow kisses so whenever he did start to look like he was going to bite, i would say in a very stern voice, that would want to be a kiss you are giving me, and he would always change it into a kiss, to which he would be praised. I dont know if you could apply a similar strategy, like ask him to make it a raspberry instead, just so he learns that raspberrys have positive associations but biting does not. Now that he is 18mths too, when he is naughty and has been warned, if he continues with the naughty behav he gets a smack on his hand, it doesnt have to be hard, but he knows that this something he does not like and gets upset about having it done. Let me know how you go, good luck!



Oh one other somewhat controversial suggestion that apparently my mum did- was bite me back. I apparently had started biting so she bit my finger and as the story goes, i never did it again because i realised how much it hurt.

Christina - posted on 05/17/2010

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i worked at a day care and we had to shadow kids that bite we would see what caused it most kids have a reason... it sounds like its a at home day care which can be hard for the kids that live at the day care/home its all there stuff even if it isnt and your his mommy and sharing all that is hard... maybe some extra time just the two of you will help with a little extra reinforcement when he does good things... DONT BITE HIM BACK... its not even a funny joke!

Jackie - posted on 05/15/2010

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What kind if approach should i try marie?? I just want him to stop im so frustrated... Rebecca he does have his own toys seperate from the daycare there is no reason for him to bite them he just does it especially if he wants the toy that they have...

Marie - posted on 05/15/2010

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"I yell at him all day long..."

Please try not to take this the wrong way, but perhaps you could try to stop yelling at him all day long. At that age, kids are not going to respond to constant yelling, it's only going to make things worse. Try to take a nicer approach.

Rebecca - posted on 05/15/2010

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Remove him from the situation for sure. I do childcare and a child did this like i stated above. I had results within a week because he didn't like being separated while the kids played. it can be very frustrating for sure to have the kids have bite marks. By chance does he share his toys or are these toys just for your day care. My son yells at people if they play with his toys...even his own baby sister but if she has HER toy he's fine. Try defining what is HIS and what is for DAYCARE.

Jackie - posted on 05/15/2010

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Thnx for all the suggestions, one problem is hes biting the day care kids not me.. Also ive tryed seperated him from the kids and that doesnt work! I cant ignore him cuz i cant have the day care kids havin bite marks all over them =\

[deleted account]

Bite him back....LOL! I'm sooo JUST KIDDING!



I know it probably hurts but I would try and ignore it as much as you can.....he might be more interested in the reaction he's getting from you then ACTUALLY wanting to bite!?? The only other thing I can suggest is designating something for him to bite on.....children's aggression is normal and they need an outlet.....I would suggest finding something appropriate for him to bite!



My daughter is 20 months also; thankfully she's never doesn't bite, YET!! LOL! Good luck!

Rebecca - posted on 05/15/2010

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They are looking for reaction...if you don't give it to them they will stop. But you could do as Kristin suggested. By saying ow loudly and removing yourself from the situation they will see they can't bite or they wont have anyone to play with. I used to take a little boy i watched out of the play area if he bit another kid and told him we didn't bite we had to play nice and our mouths for saying nice things not biting. He didn't bite again after about a week of me removing him from the situation.
Good luck:)

Kristin - posted on 05/15/2010

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When one of my boys would hit or bite or whatever and timeout wasn't working. I would yell OW! Then I would say that I wasn't going to play with him if he was going to be mean to me and then I would go do something else. It took a coupld of times, and he did sob, but it stopped.

It's something to try, but if it seems to harsh for you... then modify or don't do it.

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