i feel like a fat frump at the age of 20!

Kirsty - posted on 07/18/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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since having my daughter i have put on weight and cant shift it.... just seems like im getting bigger and bigger and i feel really down and depressed about my weight but the trouble is i love my food and i cannot stick to a diet..... i try talking to my fiance about it but he just says im being silly as he dont think im fat... i need help as i dont even feel comfortable in my own body anymore and each day my self loathing gets deeper... i want to be a yummy mummy not a fat frump at the age of 20!

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Jenni - posted on 07/22/2012

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Yup, I know the feeling. I've been so up and down with my weight since becoming a mom. I gained around 60lbs with my first. We planned on trying for another one when my son was a year. So I worked my buns off to lose the weight. After the initial 15lbs weight loss post birth, it took me about a year to lose an additional 35 lbs. I've been so lazy since having my second, I haven't even started trying to lose the weight again (another 60lbs from pregnancy) for 2 years since I had my daughter until recently. I did lose 20lbs post birth this time and stayed around the same weight for the last 2 years but recently gained another 6-8 lbs. So I finally said enough is enough. I changed my diet about 2 weeks ago and have already lost 5 lbs (course my husband who is also trying to lose a bit of weight lost 15lbs! Not even working at it as hard as me, men!)



So this will probably be a bit of a read but I have some great pointers for you. My mom works out and eats right hardcore. She is 51 years old and weighs 110lbs and is muscular, she works out with a trainer. So it's great to have her to turn to so that I'm armed with knowledge on weight loss, healthy eating and exercise.



1. I'll recommend Sparkspeople.com. It's free. It's great for keeping a journal of what you're eating (a must!), your daily exercise, making an exercise routine for yourself, creating weekly goals for yourself (which is great when making lifestyle changes rather than taking on too many things at once and setting yourself up to fail), and of course plenty of weight loss resources, calculators etc. I love it! Really keeps you on track without taking on too much at once.



2. Second, drink only water and make sure you're getting your 8 glasses a day. Keep track. The only other thing that I would recommend is green tea. I'm in the process of weaning myself off coffee (which I tend to use cream in) to flavoured green tea. Don't get me wrong, coffee by itself won't make you gain weight. It's usually the things we add to it that does. But green tea is just healthier and I don't need cream in it. It's also been shown to help you lose weight.



3. Make sure you're eating enough calories. So many people think to eat less you'll lose weight. Especially for women this can actually make you gain weight. We are naturally built to put on fat to prepare for pregnancy. So eating too little will cause you to go into starvation mode and turn anything you do eat into fat. So you really only want to eat 200 cals less than what is recommended for your height and weight. It's about *what* you're eating, not how much or how little. You also have to be careful with this if you're exercising. My mom's trainer use to always harp on me that I wasn't eating enough for the amount I was exercising and that's why I was hitting a wall in my weight loss. She adjusted it to an amount that fit my exercise regiment.



4. Absolutely measure your portion sizes.



5. Eat 5-6 small meals a day. Around 200-300 cals per meal but you can divide it up depending on your rec. daily allowance.



6. Eat a small serving of protein with every meal; good sources of protein incl, grilled chicken, some types of fish (salmon and tuna), cottage cheese (low fat), plain yoghurt (low fat, low in sugar), egg whites.



7. Eat healthy grains; wild rice, rye bread. I try to keep my grain servings small.



8. Eat more veggies than fruit. Fruit is high in sugar. Califlower and broccoli are not! Try not to eat more than 2 servings of fruit a day. I usually have 2 strawberries and half a banana in my yoghurt for breakfast. Sometimes an apple for one of my snacks. I always have a salad with my lunch and dinner. You can add a couple grapes for flavour and some different veggies. Grilled chicken salads are awesome! With a little bit of creamy poppy seed low cal dressing (measure it, don't just heap it on).



9. Avoid condiments; margarine/butter, mayo, salt, cream cheese, dip, (light salad dressing only, my mom prefers vinegarettes), ketchup. Try and eat clean and plain. If you do use condiments, use them sparingly. Herbs are a better way to go for flavour.



10. With meals and snacks, try to include 2-3 different food groups.



11. Don't buy into temptation. Go to the grocery store after you've already eaten so you're not tempted to buy junk. Keep anything you shouldn't be eating out of the house. Eventually, you stop craving those naughty foods that have been tempting you.



12. Cut the salt as much as you can. You will lose 5-10 lbs of pure water gain if you do!



13. Always read labels at the grocery store. You want to stick to things that are low in fats, low in sugars/carbs, and low in salt. I also have the rule that if I can't understand what some of the ingredients are, I avoid it. The list of ingredients in foods should be short and things that you actually understand what it is. Of course, avoid everything processed. One rule I've heard that rings true is to stick to the outside aisles of the grocery store.



14. It's ok to have a small treat once a week, but don't go crazy.



15. You will reach certain points in your weight loss where you hit a wall. Don't get discouraged, this is completely normal. All it means is you have to up the ante. Add some extra cardio to your routine, a new exercise, tweak your diet a bit. This is another reason why it's good to make small changes over time and treat it like a marathon rather than a sprint. That way you can always be challenging yourself a little more. If you lose weight to quickly, you're bound to put it back on. So about 1-2.5 lbs a week is what you want to aim for if you want a permanent solution. Plus, this will help prevent your body from going into starvation mode and working against you.



16. CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN. If you're stuck in the house as a SAHM, exercise can be difficult. So instead of sitting on the couch watching a show or going on the computer. Stay active. Make your cleaning routine, your exercise routine. While you're cleaning over emphasize your movements, dance even!



17. Take your child(ren) on walks in place of sitting around the house. To the park. Play on the equipment with them. Chase them around the backyard, if he/she is old enough... play some soccer with them. Join a mommy/baby exercise class. I'm going to assume your daughter is young. So become a baby carrier. Carrying the extra weight around from your daughter will help.



18. Get active the moment your feet hit the floor in the morning. As tough as it is! I always find this gives me more energy for the day. If I just suck it up and push myself first thing in the morning, I feel totally energized for the rest of the day. If I take my time waking up, sit down and have a coffee and watch the news or whatever, I feel like a lazy bum for the rest of the day. If you do pick up some cardio, try to do it in the morning.



19. Onto cardio. After you get your diet in order. You can challenge yourself by adding some cardio to your routine. Cardio must involve getting your heart pumping and deep breathing for it to be effective. If you're not use to the exercise, just start off small... the first week, try your best to do 7 days a week of about 10-15 mins heavy cardio. Add an extra 5 mins every week as one of your weekly goals. A nice cardio routine would be to work your way up to doing 45-60 mins at least 5 days a week. While trying to stay active the rest of the day. Ideas for cardio; jogging outside or on a treadmill, an elliptical trainer, zumba is a great workout, aerobics (you can buy some dvds), getting a gym membership and using their equipment, swimming if you have a pool, or if you want to get creative just turn on some music/music videos and dance your heart out.



20. Once you get your cardio down. You can start adding some weight training. The website I recommended earlier has some nice basic exercises to get you started. An exercise ball is a nice affordable addition to your weight training routine. As well as some 3lbs-5lbs weights. Sparkspeople will ask you what type of exercise equipment you have and will develop a routine for you or you can choose your own. Again, don't take on too much at once. You will use your weekly goals to add more reps or switch up your routine. It really is an excellent resource for changing your lifestyle gradually.



21. This one ties in with diet. Plan your meals/snacks ahead of time. That way you're not going to the fridge hungry and just eating whatever is in front of you. Plan your next meal at least 30-60 mins before you eat it. Don't let yourself get too hungry either. If your tummy starts growling, you've gone too long without eating. That is the beauty of smaller, frequent meals, your body won't go into starvation mode and you wont over eat because you're not super hungry.



Ok. So that's all I can come up with for now, but I'm sure it's plenty to get you started. Arm yourself with knowledge on healthy eating. But basically it comes down to; eating right (not less), exercise, and not taking on too much at once. Get your diet in order first and try to find things to stay active, slowly introduce some cardio into your routine and then start introducing some weight training to tone up so you're not stuck looking loose and flappy after you lose the pounds.



I swear after the first two weeks, you will feel so much better about yourself, more accomplished... higher self-esteem that you will *want* to continue. Not only to look better but you will feel so much more alive, strong and full of energy. I already feel tons better about myself in just 2 weeks, my clothes fit nicer, I got my hair cut and high-lighted, I've been putting on make up more and taking time to do my hair as well as other beauty measures I've given up on.



Best of luck to you! If you have any questions at any point in time, you can add me to your circle and I will answer them as best I can. Or if you just want to brag about your progress. Feel free. :)

Aurora - posted on 07/20/2012

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Im 22, and my sons 51/2 monthes old, im trying to loose weight one goal at a time, after i had my son i lost 22lbs. but gained 9 back due to unhealthy eatting (trying to eat quickto focus on my son he cried a lot in the begining and is a light sleeper) and decided that i didnt want my weight to keep going up and up, so i took charge and i set myself goals i weighed 202lbs (im 5' 1") after i hadmy son i weighed 180lbs 10 days after having him, then i gained 9 back by my 6 week check up. my son was 9 weeks premature and it was a very stressful situation, he came home from the NICU when he was 7 weeks old and i didnt start focusing on my weight until he was home for about 2 monthes, so its been about 6 weeks since ive been watching what i eat and ive lost 7 lbs so far. it doesnt sound like a lot but 1lb a week makes a difference over time. My first goal is to reach my prebaby weight of 170lbs. by my birthday in september, then i want to go from an obese BMI to just an overweight BMI which is 155lbs, then finally to a normal BMI, my overall goal is 120lbs, and im going to take my time getting there, but still work to get there.
i plan all my meals 1 month in advance, i dont buy soda unless were having company, i only drink 1-2 glasses of juice a day, and for snacks i buy only 1 snack a week (be it pretzels, chips, granola bars) and i only eat 1 serving a day. i dont even eat a snack anymore unless im hungry because of how i spaced apart my meals, and for dessert i either have an ice pop or fudge pop, and for dinner i use a smaller dish now and eat only 1 serving, in the begining it was hard but after i had my son none of my old pants fit, and i bought 2 new pairs that at the time fit snug, and now fit loosely.
i only weigh myself once a month because there arent always going to be good weeks. i feel that as long as my weight doesnt go up im doing something right.

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Stifler's - posted on 07/22/2012

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I am the same I love food and hate exercise. The best thing to do is just do it, exercise. JOin the gym and go. Or buy some exercise equipment. When you exercise you want to eat less and not undo all your hard work.

[deleted account]

What kind of exercise routine are you on? Sometimes when loosing weight, our metabolism will adjust to our exercise routine and diet and the weight will stop coming off. To avoid this, switch up your routine every few months.



Here is a sample of mine.

In the summer, I do a lot less, focusing mostly on swimming because it's HOT here. J is big enough to play while I swim laps now, so I do 50 laps in our neighborhood pool while he plays--focus is on cardio. When he was smaller, I put him in his water seat and used water weights to tone muscle.



In the Fall and Spring I run. J is in school now, so I can do it after I drop him off, but when he was little, I just did it before dh left for work. I walk 5 minutes to warm up, then run 50 minutes, then walk 5-10 to cool down. I would get back just in time to kiss dh goodbye and wake up J. You don't have to run everyday, in fact, I would start with only every other day, then work up to 5 to 6 days a week. It's always good to take a day off now and then.



In the winter I have very, very, very little motivation, so I sign up for classes at our gym. It helps to have people expecting to see you there, and an instructor to force you to keep going. I try to mix the classes up, doing a cardio 3 times a week, and a strength 2 times a week.



Year round, I have a short weight lifting routine I do at home with my own free weights--5 and 10 pounds. This doesn't really build muscle, it just keeps what I have toned. I work arms one day, legs the next, tummy the next, then start over.



Also, during nice weather, I always plan physical activities for my family. We hike almost every weekend, and we ride bikes together every evening after dinner. We also enjoy whitewater rafting, kayaking, and canoeing, which gives our core a great workout.



You can eat whatever you want to, just in moderation. There are apps for your phone that help you count calories as well. You just enter your height, weight, and goals, and it will give you a "calorie budget". Think of it like money--you have 1800 calories for the day, what do you want to spend them on? You can choose a ton of strawberries, or a handful of chips. Think about what foods give you the most energy and enjoyment for the least amount of calories. There will be days when those chips are well worth the calorie splurge, so enjoy them, just cut back in some other area. Also, you can earn extra calories by doing extra workouts. Running, for example burns like 300+ calories per hour, so if you add an extra 30 minutes to your run, you could give yourself a treat, like a can soda, or an ice cream.



ETA: but you cannot borrow from another day--like if you only eat 1200 calories on Monday, you cannot eat 2100 calories on Tuesday. Likewise, if you go way over and eat 2000 calories on Monday, you should not try to eat only 1600 on Tuesday. It is best to consume about the same amount every day, otherwise your metabolism will slow down.

Sarah - posted on 07/20/2012

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This is probably not 'healthy' advice. But i am the same, i love food!

I have figured out a good way too lose weight that suits my own self lol.

I drink coffee..... ALOT . I have splenda sugar and low fat milk (splenda doesnt have that chemical taste too me) and the milk i am use too now.

I don't weigh myself, i still eat takeaway and eat healthy and exercise when i can, i have just simply replaced when i crave food with coffee (i have a normal dinner) and i try too snack the least i can - and its working :)


NB - there is good and bad with everything. Im just letting you know what i do :D

Karla - posted on 07/19/2012

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have you tried Weight Watchers? I just want to encourage you if I can, I weighted 227 (I am 5/2'') after having my son and then I discovered butter and cream. We do not have disposable money either, I signed up when it was free joining and then it is $20 a month which is a lot for us. I began the program and saw a lot of success, I love to eat so it was really changing about what I ate. I started the C25K (Couch to 5K) program and with those both lost 30lbs. We just found out we are pregnant with number 2 and now it is about staying healthy. You can do this, for yourself and your family and you deserve to feel comfortable in your body. Take the first step.

[deleted account]

I found that focusing on exercise first was the best approach for me. I've found that I often eat less and healthier when I exercise on a regular basis.

Diets never work, at least not in the long term. What does work is portion control and snack control. Don't buy snacks or soda (diet is worse for you than regular). At the same time remember to treat yourself. I'm a major soda addict (although not as bad as my husband). So I only ever get soda when we eat out.

Making homemade versions of things you like to eat when out is also a good way to loose weight. Tomato sauce can be really unhealthy from a restaurant, but you can make it easily from scratch at home.

User - posted on 07/18/2012

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I am also 20 and feel like a fat frump! my daughter is 8 months old already and im still very far from my goal weight. i LOVE my food too which is my problem. What i'm trying to do, and what you could try too, is just a little at a time... decrease your carbs and sugar. Not cold turkey, but decrease them. Eat your dinner earlier. make it a goal to go for one wwalk a day. If you are really beginning too selff loathe then its time tto mmake changes!! You can do it. :)

Jennifer - posted on 07/18/2012

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It's tough dealing with the bodies we get left with after having kids. After giving birth to 4, my body is in no way close to what it was before I had kids. One thing you have to do is make sure you are healthy. I have been working on myself lately.One problem at the moment is working out. Unlike a lot of people, I get a lot of joy out of a good gym workout. I just can't afford a gym membership right now, plus the cost of chidcare so that I can work out. I have started being more active with my kids though. If we go on a walk, I pull the youngest in a wagon, and let the older ones take turns climbing in with her so that I get a little more out of it than just walking. If I take them to the park, I climb on the toys with them. This has helped some. I still am getting really caught up with food also. I started adding a large salad to every lunch and supper. I make sure it is just veggies (no meat or cheese) and I use very little dressing. This has helped, because it fills me up faster and I don't scarf other things that aren't as healthy.

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