I feel so alone, anxiety gets the better of me I think

Lindsey - posted on 05/05/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I'm afraid I have PPD. I constantly feel so alone. I have anxiety attacks over how clean our house is (never clean enough for my husband's standards). I feel guilty even taking time to enjoy my daughter because it's time I'm not cleaning. And then I take the time and feel guilty not cleaning. And the worst part is my daughter is a dream child!! She sleeps and plays so nicely by herself and doesn't make a peep till she needs something and she's 8 months old! I get so anxious about him coming home from work every day and nothing being done right that I can't concentrate on one thing. I find sometimes I have walked from one end of the house to the other holding something and don't know why or what I was planning on doing when I got there. I don't know who to talk to or what to do.

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Jennifer - posted on 05/06/2013

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I hate to say this, and I am no doctor...but I don't think you have PPD...I think you have a case of *-hole Husband, lmao. Not up to his standards?? Seriously...if you doesn't like it....he can pick up a mop and do it himself. Give a husband like that 1 week of doing what you do...and he will crack.
You need to realize you are missing out on the time with your beautiful baby! Before you know it....they are grown up and you missed it! Who cares that the dishes aren't cleaned when he gets home. Do cleaning when the baby is napping or sleeping at night, or for 1 hr a day. Whatever you get done is done...and that is it. Don't stress about what he wants or thinks. If it really is a huge issue...you need to sit down and explain how you feel. If it cant be worked out...go see a marriage therapist. You need to be happy and healthy. Please don't stress about house work...do the best you can, but don't miss out on your child. You'll regret it. I hope that helps you in any way. Good luck :)

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Alicia - posted on 05/13/2013

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lindsey dont worry about your husband tell him that if its not up to his standards then he needs to do it him self. men just dont get it. spend all the time you can with your daughter. this is the most important time of her life. and yours. i dont think you have ppd but ask your doctor or see if you can find a baby group in your area to get out i think that you have what i like to call cooped up stress. your so worried about what your husband wants that you forget your self. talk to him and let him know that you are going to spend more time with the baby and not cleaning.

Andi - posted on 05/06/2013

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Lindsey,
I am so sorry you are going through this. It does sound like you may have PPD. I had very high anxiety after my first child was born. I was terrified of something happening to him. I was a bit obsessive about cleaning then too., although not for the same reason as you give. I was terrified of making my baby sick. If I dropped a receiving blanket, (on my own clean floor!) I would re-wash it. It was over the top. I suffered for months before I finally went to the doctor. I did not realize it was PPD because I wasn't "depressed". But that is what it was-and I did not get better until I started talking about it. I urge you to go see your doctor. Your OB would probably be a good choice as he or she should be very familiar with PPD. I am hoping that your husband is not as demanding as your post makes him sound. With PPD it is common to "exaggerate" (for a lack of a better word) things in your own mind. (as I did by thinking a dropped blanket was "contaminated") If that is not the case with you and he really does expect you to keep your house totally spotless with a baby in tow, then I would encourage you and your husband to get counseling. This is such a special time in your baby's development...and it is such a shame for you to miss out on her just because you feel obligated to clean all the time. Best wishes to you- Hang in there!

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