i have a 10 month old son and expecting number 2 will i cope with 18 months difference

Danielle - posted on 04/13/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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im expecting number 2 and im worried that i wont cope with 18 months between them my son is 10 months and demands a lot of attention from me and his dad wont give me the help and support i need he wont even feed my son can anyone give me any advice

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Jess - posted on 04/13/2010

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i have 3, with a little more than 2 yrs between the last two and yes, it is overwhelming, but the cliche's are all true. somehow, you manage. just breathe. i wish i could be more help, but i am here to listen (believe me, the ability to vent is soo much more helpful than u will ever know).

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Marietta - posted on 04/19/2010

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My sons have the same age gap. I thought i was going to die, i just went back to work full time. So here i was with a 10 month old, working full time and pregnant with #2. I had a loving partner which i guess made it easy, he was and continues to be great with our 2 sons. They are now 3 & 4 and i feel like i am raising twins. The best advice i could give you is to involve the oldest from the start, that is what we did, straight from the beginning with my tummy growing and telling him that his brother is coming and generally with the new arrival our oldest was always involved, from bath time to nappy changes and feeding times, and just talking to him about how he is the older brother etc, trust me this will help you more than you can think in the future. Our boys are treated the same and yet they have their own personalities( which is great!) , one thing that i can see is they both know we love them both the same. If the father won't give you help and support, then fire his ass you already have 2 kids that need you. Surround yourself with positive people. Good luck love and congratulations on #2 :)

Theresa - posted on 04/14/2010

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I was wondering the same thing when I was expecting and my daughter was 10 months. Your son will change a lot in the next few months before the baby is born. 18 months is much easier than 10 months. My son is now 3 weeks and my daughter is 18 months. It's not easy, but she's better now than at 10 months. When I feed my son I read to Elizabeth. She likes that and it makes her feel included. She likes to help get the diapers for him. Sometimes she acts up because she wants the attention. I've gotten use to her throwing her tantrums. I just let her do it right there on the floor because it's always when I can't do anything about it at that moment. My husband works 60-70 hours a week, so even though he's in our lives, he's not around to help much. I always say I'm a married single mother. If you are going to attemp errends with both I advise packing lots of snacks your son likes. The one thing that gets us through the grocery store without too much problems is food for her. She likes animal crackers or gold fich crackers. And I neve go unless he's just been fed, even then I still take a bottle just in case. You can make it through. Like someone sad, just breathe. In the rough moments I try to focus on the fact that it will get easier in a couplemonths when the baby isn't so demanding and can play and smile with his sister. She absolutely loves him,but she'll love it so much more when he gets to the fun stage. Good luck.

Samantha - posted on 04/14/2010

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i had 2 children 14months apart, like you, mu husband gives no help or support ever and i'm not kidding we have 3 kids and he has never changed a nappy or done a night feed or cooked a meal or washed dishes, it's safe to say my last 2 although loved were not planned. I found the 1st year was great the closeness in age was never a problem but as soon as the younger of the 2 started walking it was a nightmare and still is, they constantly fight and argue they have to have exactly the same for x-mas or they fight about it, i've even got to the stage where i have to dress them the same or they argue about whos clothes are the best. Sorry to worry you bout that my only advice is have a routine and stick to it!!!

Rikkie - posted on 04/13/2010

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Im 26 happily marrid to a man that does not help with my babies..(its ok hes not a baby kinda man, but great with my older kids) our youngest 2 sons are exactly 10 months apart..yes it can get rough some days but as they get older it does get better.. my babies are now 9 months and 19 months, its a blast to watch them play and interact...you will be just fine, trust me.
I have 5 kids and the last one was not planned, i cried for weeks because i didnt want babies so close together...It worked out for the best..GOOD LUCK

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My childern will be 16months apart and I understand how you feel....All you can do is try and relax, I am sure everything will work out and you will be fine and be an even more wonderful mom

Darcy - posted on 04/13/2010

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I have two children that are 18 months apart. I felt the same way about my son Owen making sure he gets enough attention. Just remember at first babies sleep alot. Try and give Owen and your new baby as much attention equally. I will tell you it's hard but but it is worth it. They are almost 1 year and 2 1/2 they play together and are the best of buds. We are working on the sharing though. Owen is very concerned about his brother Ian and is a very helpful brother Just breathe, relax I usually read a book to go to bed so I can relax. Hope this helps you.

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