i have a 21 yr old, has been in trouble since the age of 16. police and courts were involved. he was in training for the marines two years ago, he strayed. after 30 years of marriage, i had enough! my husband said to deal with it, i can't.i have a 25 year old, moved out and doing great, but i feel like im missind him more because my 21 yr old seems like mom and dad can pay my bills and have a place to stay.in done at this point in my liready to let go ,but he says if i do, he will tell the police some story against my husband and me to make him look like an angle even though he seems innocient? .

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The police are not going to believe any story he tells them, and if he is trying to blackmail you into supporting him by threatening to tell lies to the police, there is something seriously amiss.

Find out where his problems are stemming from. If there is a substance abuse issue, commit him to a full time rehab program--I know from experience, they are the only ones that really work--and make sure he can live there for at least one year, two if possible, completely isolated from his current social network. Given that he has had these issues for 5 years now, I assume you have tried all options concerning therapy and psychology, so if you have not found a cause yet, just let him go. Put his things in a storage garage and pay the first month's rent. If he wants to keep his stuff, he can come up with a place to put it or a way to pay the rent without your help. Change the locks on your home.

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