I have lots of issues, I feel so low, total failure at life

Beth - posted on 08/10/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Where do I start! I am a 37 yr old SAHM of a 22 month old. I am from another country and have lived here for a few years. I don't drive, I can't make friends easily, I am shy and seem to have anxiety over the smallest little thing which just stops me from doing stuff like learning to drive. I start but can't see things through. I don't like myself very much. I hate being me!

I'm just stuck right now. It's okay to say "go and see someone to talk about my issues" but if I can't drive I can't get there. It's a vicious circle that I can't pull myself out of. I have no-one to talk to. I just rely on my husband, it's not fair on him.,

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Sophia - posted on 09/29/2012

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where do you live? no bus or trains . frist think frist.... do you ever go to the doctor ? if yes then thats the person to talk to about all of how you are feeling now. good luck

[deleted account]

I had driving issues as well. When my husband first tried to teach me I freaked out going 5 mph because there was a car across the parking lot. I had to get over it, it was wearing on my husband. I started up again by driving to the grocery store on every trip. My husband would drive back. After I got more comfortable with that, I tried driving back. That was all with a baby in the back.

I have no friends where I live. My best and one friend lives 3 hours away. I don't really like talking to people and often live off a script of sorts to get through most interactions. The internet is a bit easier since I'm not looking right at a person. But even then I often delete a fully written post, or go over it over and over, to make sure it is socially acceptable.

I don't have insurance, so I get the not being able to talk with someone. What I suggest is calling another family member whom you trust to listen to you and guide you through things. For me, my mom is my go to person.

Ashley - posted on 08/11/2012

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I used to have a fear of driving also and was also shy like you. I am a little younger but didnt actuLly start driving until i was 27. I used to feel i would get into a deasly car accident and had very bad anxiety over it. I forced myself ro learn how. It was so hard i would literally shake with fear. I didnt get on meds but used the power of my mind and now i am very comfortable with it and feel much more confident and free. I started drivimg short distances to placesbi had to go frequently and then expanded from there. You can do it. You are not a failure.

Tara - posted on 08/11/2012

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I totally understand. I am a bit younger but I have had severe anxiety issues and would not have made it without some medication and a counselor to talk to. Ask your husband to drive you. If you are able to rely on him now, I'm sure he would be happy to help. When I got help, I got my life back and was able to enjoy my children and husband. And like it has already been said PRAY!!! It never fails. It may seem like it doesn't help and first but don't give up. When I say it literally saved my life, I am not exaggerating. I will say a prayer for you.

Melissa - posted on 08/10/2012

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I am 36 and have a very hard time making friends...never used to until my 30's. I to have anxiety! Anxiety is your body telling you things are off in your life. You HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF to overcome certain fears! Medicine might help but your mind is very powerful and can get you out of this!!!! I know from experience! Think of the freedom driving will give you, the life outside your home you and your son can experience!!! Take your time but push through the lessons YOU CAN DO IT!!!! ALSO PRAY!!! PRAY EVERYDAY I SWEAR BY IT! It will help release fears!!! You need to create a life for yourself as hard as it may be!!! Find some local online support groups/churches....find things that can get you out of this state of mind...anxiety will still be there just not as severe and coping through will get easier! I have an anxiety prayer Ill post for you soon.

Katherine - posted on 08/10/2012

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I'm 37 too. I have a 3 year old and a 6 year old. And I have major anxiety also. Have your husband drive you to an appointment so you can get on meds. Something to take the edge off. If it wasn't for meds I'd be locked away in my house too. You have to TRY to get in the car and get to the doctor. Don't drive yourself, have someone drive you. I totally know how it feels
xx

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