I'm depressed, home sick & taking it out on my husband

Jr_2002au - posted on 06/18/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I just need to vent!
I don't know what to do anymore! 6 years ago I moved from QLD to SA after meeting my husband, I decided to stay & see how it goes. We have been happy, bought a house, got married 2 years ago & fell pregnant straight away with my beautiful baby girl who is now 16 months old.
Ever since I had my daughter things have been bad for me, I'm extremely home sick & feeling so depressed & guilty that my family are missing out on her! I have anxiety over small things & take my frustration out on my husband & find myself blaming him for everything!
All I think about everyday is going home & being close to my family & having their support (as my husbands family is no support at all) I have expressed my feelings to hubby & he has decided that we can move back to QLD to be closer to my family!
That's soooo great! We have had our house up for sale for 4 months now with NO interest at all! I'm sooooo desperate to move & it's getting harder everyday to be here & I find myself having thoughts of leaving my husband. I also find myself being very resentful towards him, I almost blame him that we can't move yet! ( I know its not his fault the house hasn't sold but I can't help it!)
I'm so frustrated with myself, my life, everything! I sometimes snap at my daughter for stupid little things & then burst into tears because I realise how horrible I have been to her!
I hate the person I have become, I used to be happy & relaxed!
I just don't feel right here, I need my family & I need to be home, is this selfish?
PLEASE HELP ME!

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Lisamarie - posted on 06/19/2012

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I agree, moving back is not going to make you feel instantly better. I have been a SAHM for a little over 5 years now, I live near all my family but still don't see them very often. I went through a depression stage for years and like you took it out on my husband. I went to see a counsellor a few months ago and honestly it has done wonders, I saw a man but you can request a woman if you would feel more comfortable.
I found that talking about how I felt gave him the opportunity to explain why I was feeling these things and exercises to use to control certain things. Just knowing why I was acting the way I was helped me enormously and now I honestly feel like a new woman. I am happy 99% of the time, compared to the 40% I was before, I feel confident and have started taking my youngest child to a mummy and children center where we can both socialize.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for you. :-)

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Josephine - posted on 04/29/2014

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I think u need to get up from being a victim and start doing something for yourself. We're always looking for people to sell for us. If you're looking for some work working from home on your computer check out flyotr.com. You can reach Joe from there. He's a great guy and honest. He helped me out when I got divorced and I couldn't support myself.

Ana - posted on 07/01/2012

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Also, if you feel like you are going to hurt yourself or anyone else in your house, you should go see a Dr. Because they can help you better than you can help yourself.

Ana - posted on 07/01/2012

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Ok, calm down..I know how you feel, but until the house sells, why don't you just go stay with fam for a while, this will help..the house may take a year or more to sell, or yall may end up renting it out or something, but if you are able to go see fam, you should. It will help you even if you have to go back, you will be stronger...

Ange - posted on 06/21/2012

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What I'm hearing sounds an awful lot like depression. Not casual, I don't feel good today, kind of depression, but more serious. I think that if you can, if you can afford it and if there are any qualified docs available, you should consider a few visits to a doc who can help diagnose if this might not be part of the problem. Did you have any post-partum depression? I know (believe me, I know!) that it can be hard and annoying to have someone decide for you that you have depression, but... if you remember being happier and more confident and calmer before, and you know that the way you are right now isn't "the real you" and you also feel that it's really messing up your life and making you and everyone around you miserable, it can't hurt to at least talk to a medical professional about it.
They might tell you that it isn't clinical depression, but then again, they might have some real insight for you into how to cope, ways to help you treat yourself, your husband, and your child better, and so on. It doesn't have to be medicine to make you happy or whatever, it could be ... well, I'm not a doc and don't specialize in this stuff, so I don't know all the ways they could help, but it sounds like you could use help and I think that even being willing to bring it here to us at Circle Of Moms shows you realize there's something different and you're looking for some kind of help. So... we can make suggestions but why not see a person who specializes in helping just your kind of situation? If you're miserable, your little girl will pick it up, she'll be growing up in an atmosphere that has negative overtones and she'll feel it. If you can find ways to help yourself be happier, you will benefit, and so will those close to you that you love. Good luck!

Melanie - posted on 06/21/2012

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Hi,
I know how hard it is when family is not close by, but have you ever considered being tested for post partum depression? I hear what you are saying and some of it sounds like it to me since I had it after both my kids. I hope you consider every possibility and talk to your dr about seeing a psychologist for talk therapy. I hope you get the help you need, dont forget to talkt to your husband, he is there for you too. good luck.
melanie

Kelly - posted on 06/20/2012

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Can you afford a visit home with the baby? Can your family afford a visit to you? Hormones may have come into play as well and the transition to stay at home mom is NOT an easy one!!! Exercise as much as possible and get out of the house often.....window shop, join church mom of tots groups for support. Meanwhile even if a visit is impending take pictures to email, Instant message and or Skype with your family to get the support you need and know this will pass. It will get better!!!M

User - posted on 06/19/2012

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i am in a similar situation., moved to texas from florida to further pursue my career...it didn't work out. but I did meet my husband and like you, I stayed for love. I told him since the beginning my plan was to go back and he always stayed firm that he'd support my decision but wouldn't move. so I stayed. we have a two year old and are pregnant with our second child, I still resent him for "making me choose" but as easy as it is to blame him I truly believe my resentment is wrongly directed. I feel I'm angry that I didn't get to live that life I moved here for. and I have seen my family but the reason, the things I want to go back for are memories . if you have YOUR family and your house try staying with an opened mind. maybe it hasn't sold for a reason. good luck luck and God bless.

Stifler's - posted on 06/19/2012

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It doesn't matter where you are, being a stay home mum is isolating. Please don't move back to where your family are with hopes of this suddenly making everything better, because I doubt it will. You should see a psychologist. I live 600km from my family and love it that it's exciting for the kids to see grandma and I don't have them popping around at a moments notice to tell me how to live my life.

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