I'm feeling so down lately, has anyone else gone through this?

Jr_2002au - posted on 01/16/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I have been a stay at home mum for the past 12months with my first baby. I LOVE being able to stay home with her & not miss out on a thing but lately I feel like I'm not coping. I feel like she is constantly whinging, she wont let me out of her sight for 2 seconds without crying! She only plays with her toys for a little bit then gets bored & I don't know how to entertain her ALL the time! Lately I've felt like I just want to get away, I find myself getting angry with her for little things & I know she doesn't understand but I just can't help snapping at her! I don't want to be a bad mum to her & I feel like its starting to affect my relationship with my husband as well! Has anyone else had these feelings? Please help!

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Elle - posted on 01/19/2012

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i've only been a SAHM for 7 months now and i totally understand where you're coming from. when i find myself getting annoyed really easily i know it's time for some ME time. i have a gym with a nursery, which helps a lot. i can go work out (or just sit in the sauna) and let the caretakers do their job for an hour or so. i also find that i enjoy window shopping (not enough money for real shopping) and my boy gets a ride in the stroller with a bottle or a toy to keep him happy. can you get out of the house more often? let her play in the tub while you sit next to her and read a magazine? give her new toys or even a cardboard box and only let her play with it a limited amount of time - then it becomes special? hope it gets better for you. good luck!

[deleted account]

As a Mother of 3 I have found that theres not much as a Mom you can "do wrong" unless you are neglecting the childs needs or abusing them. I have had weeks were I feel blah and nothing is going right the kids are driving me nuts. I set small goals for myself on those weeks. Lets just get through today. I have found when I'm close to my breaking point and can't leave the house by myself then drop everything I'm doing turn on some music and dance. The kids love it and it gets them into a better mood. It will also help your daughter because she can tell when Mommy is stressing and it shows her how to get the stress out in a constructive way.

Deonna - posted on 01/19/2012

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Jess,



See!! that's what i a talking about retail therapy... I did that the other day girl got some nice shoes for 75% off cannot beat that!! lol!! Good job Jess just remember " me time " and you'll do find.

Jr_2002au - posted on 01/19/2012

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Thankyou everyone for your encouraging comments! I'm feeling alot better knowing that other mums are going through the same thing! I realise I need to take a bit more "me time", I went for a pedi & some retail therapy for 2 hours yesterday & came home feeling refreshed & couldn't wait to see my girl! Being a first time mum I sometimes feel like I'm "doing it wrong" but knowing I have support here to keep me going is an amazing relief. THANKYOU!

Deonna - posted on 01/18/2012

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Jess,



ALL THE TIME!!! It never stops my duaghter was like that when i just became an at home mom in 08" i think it more of them wanting to be around other kids is what i found out. Because no you don't know how to entertain them all day long. What i started to do was look for things in my area that were free to do or even going to the mall for myself and her, they had a play area for toddlers so she could run around and all i had to do was sit and watch!!! Man..... was that great and by the time she got home she was out!! Jess it hard being a at home mom a lot people don't see that but staying encouraged and motivated will help you in every way. For myself i think that being around my kids all day does affect our relationship because by the time he gets home your like your home im hanging up the towel!!! lol But one of my goals for this year is that i will be better to myself and take that extra hours or two when hubby is home and get our of the house by yourself or with a friend. I have been through it and it will pass just remember how to take time out for yourself even if you don't want too... Now that we have a 4 yr old & 15 month old and another baby on the way i cannot stop now on feeling like i am a bad mother! Your a great mother don't let anyone tell you different...

Dusty - posted on 01/17/2012

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I'm pretty sure EVERY mom has felt this way at some point or another, whether they are a SAHM or not! It doesn't make you a bad mom. You need to speak with your husband & explain to him that you just need a day, or even a weekend, to yourself, doing what YOU love. See if your husband or a trusted friend or family member will keep your daughter for a day so you can go out with friends & catch up, or just go out by yourself. Go shopping, go sightseeing, read a new book, go out to lunch, see a movie, or go get a mani/pedi. Believe me, it will refresh you & you will be thankful you made the time for yourself.

Krista - posted on 01/16/2012

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Oh hun I have felt like this for soooo long. Staying at home is so rewarding but it really does affect you. I mean common, we clean poop and talk baby talk for a living. Of course we are going to become a bit depressed.



My son is 5 so he does do most stuff himselves by now, but I do feel unappreciated most days.



What I do to relieve my anger/stress, is hold a girls night once or twice a month. No kids and no men! Alcohol and unhealthy food. And hey, ya you gain 1lb a month but who cares!!

Meg - posted on 01/16/2012

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Right there with you Jess! My little guy will soon be one, and seperation anxiety has hit big time making it so hard to get anything done. I try to create space, but end up feeling guilty when he freaks out and demands I stay by his side/hold him/ breastfeed him etc. whenever he wants. I think I have different expectations of a 1 year old, and do need some of my space back, but have to ease him into our 'new relationship'.

It's super important to take care of yourself so that you can continue to be the best mommy and wife you can be. Maybe there is a play group you can attend together to get out and meet other moms, and then maybe ease her into being looked after by someone else while you grab a few hours of 'me time'.

I love my son dearly, but there are certainly times I think 'gee I'd love to miss you right now'. Even something as simple as driving home after an hour at the gym has me looking forward to seeing him again :)

Some independance is good for both of you, and this stage will pass...soon you'll be trying to chase her down just to keep an eye on her as she explores the world!

As long as we're doing our best, being loving and giving to everyone (which includes ourselves) then we can trust everything will fall into place. I've added a little night time meditation in silence to my routine, which is worth a try especially after a particularly trying day. You'll find what works, you've got this!

All the best!

Mckenna - posted on 01/16/2012

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Sweet momma, I'm pretty sure I can speak for hundreds of sahm's when I say " OF COURSE WE FEEL THIS WAY SOMETIMES!!!!".

Having every minute of your life revolve around your precious baby- even if it's exactly what we signed up for- is HARD! With all if the wonder and joy comes the stress, isolation, frustration, irritation, and it's exhausting!

You're not alone! Hang in there. Deep breaths and coffee; that my advice. Can you get together w a friend? Put on a quick show for her while you take a breather? get someone to watch her for an hour while u take a walk???

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