I'm loosing my mind

Nicole - posted on 12/13/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I'm a stay at home mom of three an a husband who's always at work an not at home latly our marriage has fallen south because I need a break sometime an plus he so tired from work he doesn't talk to me what can I do to balance yhe two

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Candace - posted on 12/13/2013

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We try to schedule 'mom time' when I can get a free afternoon. I make it as easy on my husband as I can and plan for naptime or right after lunch. Then he can give me a few hours to just be out of the house and without the kids. I have to really force it and stick to it or it won't happen. It's so important to get some time to unwind. I am a better wife and mom when I get a break. My husband knows this. It only happens about once a month but I love it! We also had a big hear-to-heart recently because I've been overwhelmed doing everything for the house, the kids, errands, finances, etc. and he is busy working. He has agreed to help out more - in specific ways - and to help me get a break sometimes. I also have to let some things go. We can't be involved in too many activities and the house will never be spotless, but THAT'S OKAY!

LeAnne - posted on 12/13/2013

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Hi Nicole. Im a sahm of a 4mo old baby girl and a 5 year old boy. My husband goes to work 7 days a week 2:30p-4a M-F and 4p-4a Sat and Sun. We live in a town where everything is at least an hour away, we do have a supercenter walmart, and our families are at least 8 hours away, with the exception of a cousin who lives 1.5 away.

Im overwhelmed more often than not and Idk if I can even be a good reference for your situation but what I do is 1. Stop saying "No" so much. It has become a habit to say "no" everytime my 5 yr old asks to do somethingnor watch something on TV. So, I stopped saying no so much. I guess you cn call this "choosing your battles wisely." 2. I stopped micro-managing everything I just started letting some things go. 3. I convince my husband to start waking up at 12 p.m. Every day to spend time with me and the children. 4.I asked my husband to do things like take out the trash or unload the dishwasher or wash out the babys bottles when he gets off of work. 5. I am intimate with my husband any chance we get like when my 5 year old is in preschool and my 4 month old is taking a nap during that 12 p.m. Time. Or wen he gets off. Its not as often as HE woukd like but it wrks...lol. 6. I have at least one or two television shows that I like to watch each night while the children are asleep. even though I am breastfeeding I pump once she's down for the night and I get a glass of wine, Sutter home Moscato is my fav. And i mellow out. NO MATTER WHAT IS OR IS NOT DONE! I have a master's in criminal justice...not housekeeping! So our house is not spotless, but its clean. I do what I can whenni xan and I have my 5 year doing chores as well. he can cleanthe counter in the bathroom and the mirrors he can unload the dishwasher and load dishwasher with my help he can clean his room and he can pick up the living room he also takes clothes out of the dryer and put them in the basket and folds the small towels.

People say that it gets better, but since we dont live in the future, that gives me little concelation. I just ty to take thigs day by day. I also gt a little parttime job at a gym teaching gymnastics 1.5 hrs 3 days a week and the kids come w me. That helps some too. I hope this helps you a little. Im always looking for inspiration from different moms and I hope I gave u a little. Sorry so long

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