I'm ready to just give up

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

For starters I'm a single mom and I live with my son and uncle due to I have no where else to go. I have a large variety of medical problems that makes it impossible for me to work and do many things I should be able to. My son is three now and doesn't listen ever throws the biggest fits and is the spawn of satan most days. Every time I try to set rules or a punishment or just a simple request from the kid and he starts freaking out my uncle will give him what ever he wants so he doesn't have to hear it. Be it candy soda of all things ice cream it doesn't matter what. I have told him thousands of times to stop but does no good. My uncle will see me making dinner but give him a shit ton of snacks and junk food and them of course why would he want to eat his diner. Its every night for over a year he has not had an actual dinner because of my uncle. My son was sick and wanted to watch cartoons I said not till youtake your medicine which Iis by no means unreasonable. Well he started thrthrowing one of his fits wakes my uncle up and I tell him what is going on and getz md at me and gives him what he wants. It doesn't matter what it is what I say doesn't matter to him so now my son thinks the same way. I'm at a loss of what to do and I'm only 22 and will soon have to be on disablity due to said medical problems. Its too cold to go outside and I can't keep up with him at all walking is a huge issue for me. Doesn't help his father who he sees on the weekends is brain washing him but there is nothing that can ve done about that as far as I know.

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View replies by

Shawnee Gomez - posted on 02/13/2014

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Hi, I first want to tell you that I COMPLETELY understand how you feel, it sounds like we have very similar situations. I too have a list of ongoing health problems from Deg Disc Disease, Scoliosis, Ankelyosing, Fibromyalgia, and the list goes on. It is the most difficult to deal with a misbehaving child (I have a 3 yr. Old girl), especially when u don't feel well and you're just drained! I was actually fired from my job of 15 yrs because of my medical problems & having to be on medications. The only difference is that I was approved for disability by their doctors within 45 days after applying (thank God), without an attorney & applied for it myself. I have nobody to watch my daughter and haven't had a break in almost 12 months! I know what you mean when u just want to give up! I'm having one of those days today myself & wanted you to know there is someone out there that understands. I actually am trying to move into a new place because I have to move from the house I'm in which was part of the divorce, and I have not had a single person to help me pack, watch my daughter, nothing. I'm having to move every little piece I'm small boxes bit by bit & cry almost everyday thinking I'm never going to get it done! Now to make matters worse, my Tahoe SUV broke down! I have to leave all my larger items behind because I physically can't move them myself. I did notice when I would stretch, do my back exercises, my therapy, i take my daughter to the local High School to swim sometimes, any type of activity that I physically felt capable of doing that day, I would try to include her in doing that because it would give.her the attention she wanted (and was being bad to get), but it made me feel better in the end too! I used to even go tanning once I'm awhile because the heat would relax me & the Vitamin D (I believe) from the lights actually help with my depression from the cold winter which makes me hurt worse.. I hope this gives you just a little bit of relief in knowing it will get better & there are others that really do understand. I got tired of my healthy friends not understanding how hard it is when a person is in pain & I quit discussing things With them. I'm even loosing my teeth now from the medications I've been on for years & from when I was pregnant because I'm severely anemic & have a vitamin deficiency. Try to take a deep breath & give yourself a "Mom Minute" when possible. I'm hoping my daughter gets better once I can get help & send her to pre-school. Please feel free to contact me if you need to vent to somebody that understands. Also, maybe I can give some pointers on getting approved. Also, did you try to apply for SSI which is for those people who are waiting to get approved for disability I believe. Good luck, I'm here if you need to talk :-)

[deleted account]

Disabilty denied me I already tried. Its hard to get and even harder for someone my age to get. And even is I could it still wouldn't be enough to cover rent and utilities.

Ana - posted on 02/11/2014

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You will never be able to train your son to listen to you and respect you as long as you live with your uncle.

Kids have to be in an environment where they depend on someone for something and then they will do what that person says because they know there is no other option.

Living with other people is always going to be a challenge with your kids if they have not already been trained to obey you.

So, you can't work, but can you get disability? if you can then you can get your own place. You may have to get on welfare as well, so what, if people didn't need it, it would not exist.

So, if you could get your own place, even if it is a 1 bed room, you would be able to control your son more, and you would not have to fight your uncle about interfering in your raising him. Also, if you did get disability or welfare, you would be able to put your son in day care during the day, preschool, and it would be based on your income, so would your housing and some other living bills.

Look, you can make it, for now, if you want to make money, you can write resume's for people, or babysit, but don't do the age groups that hurt your disability. You can also go to school. You can get financial aid to pay for your classes and your books and supplies.

If I were you I would take time out to go to the local community college and see how you could get into school, and I would go to the local children and families center and see how you can get your own place and assistance at least until you are able to find a job or get some schooling under your belt.

Sorry this turned into a long post, but I see more was needed than what you asked.

God Bless.

[deleted account]

I also forgot to add he doesn't take his nap anymore and won't sleep at night he won't finaly fall asleep till almost 3 in the morning and is up at 7 am.

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