I'm ready to wean my toddler but she isn't ready..

An - posted on 06/23/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I'm a big breast feeding advocate after doing all the research, so I have breast fed my daughter up to two years old (her 2nd birthday was a few days ago). I just personally am so ready to wean her but she doesn't want to let go. I know breast feeding is a big comfort thing to her. We had a rough birth experience so I feel like she clings to me extra, so how do I ease her off the boob without seeming cruel? I've tried "No, there's no more" and "only when it's time to sleep" but she doesn't buy it or insists on going to bed to "nap" so she can have "boobah". She speaks in almost full sentences at this point so it's kinda funny having to argue with her about this..! I also push her hand away and she screams bloody murder. She tries ripping my shirt off in public sometimes, and usually manages to sneak her hand in my bra when I'm holding her. She looks at me with the most broken hearted expression on her face when I won't let her have any. I suggest milk, water, juice, toast etc. but nothing compares to boobah. I'm hoping that eventually she just weans herself off and I just need to be patient. I really want her to be weaned when she starts pre-school in 6 months. She has a healthy appetite with regular food, and drinks both goat and cow milk.

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Shayla - posted on 06/25/2010

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put her in her own bed hun and do it repeatidly so she understands and it is hard and she will scream but it will get better and it will be better on you and your husbands relationship he should be able to sleep in bed with you. Like i said though it will be hard

[deleted account]

Looks like you've got some good tips already (I especially like Moni and Patricia's advice). I weaned my daughter around 17 months. I didn't have any set age I wanted to be done by, it was just the time that we were both ready. What worked for us was really, really gradually cutting back. The number of sessions but also the length of each session. However my daughter wasn't old enough at the time to argue! I can't imagine the heartbreak you must be going through. Whatever happens, don't stress about it too much. She won't still be doing it when she's 10 right? Follow your instincts and you'll figure it out. Good luck!

Lynnett - posted on 06/25/2010

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I always used the boppy to nurse my daughter and once I got rid of it she weaned herself. Try changing the routine(if you have one) like dropping the afternoon feeding first and go from there. Good Luck!

Moni - posted on 06/23/2010

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My daughter just weaned herself at 18 months, I seriously thought we were going to be BFing forever, at least it felt like it! I wasn't going to push the weaning, but if she didn't ask for it, I didn't offer. She dropped her nap nurse first (we had special reading time together instead), then the night nurse (special Daddy/daughter time then) and the morning nurse last. She weaned when we were traveling, I think she just forgot to ask as we were in new places with things to explore.

I think it helps to have a new routine in place to replace the nursing. Special cuddle time, big girl book time, etc. That's what worked for my daughter and some friends (who gave me the great advice in the first place). Good luck, it's hard to end that chapter, but I'm glad to have my body back :)

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An - posted on 06/25/2010

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Thanks everyone for your input and ideas.. She has been taking the bottle since she was little, I used to pump when I was at work. Now I don't pump anymore since about a year, she takes both goat and cow milk as I mentioned before. She drinks out of bottle and sippy cup but now she rarely will take a bottle and prefers a sippy or regular cup. The problem is I think the nursing is mostly to be close and cuddle.. Also, she is still sleeping with us, my husband has had to move to the guest room because she is so big now! So that's a whole other issue. It's created some tension in our relationship. I would've never imagined a scenario like this in a million years before becoming parents!

Kris - posted on 06/23/2010

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I agree you are just going to have to tell her NO in a nice voice This is why I believe by there 1st birthday they need to be off the boob But then again that's my opinion GOOD LUCK :)

Patricia - posted on 06/23/2010

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Boy do I know what you're going through!! My daughter nursed until she was 2 and 1/2. She also slept with us until then! In a full size bed. My husband was the Nasty one who threw a fit one night and told her" you're gonna sleep in your room in your bed" followed by a spanking. After that it curtailed the night feeding. The next most embarrassing experience was when we were at the inlaws and sitting around the table just talking to my motherinlaw when she walked in climbed up under my shirt and latched on. My Motherinlaw said "if she's big enough to do that she's big enough to stop". Next we started doing an outing at the regular boobah time when she had to have a cup like the big ones did. Talk to her about preschool and what she will do there - show her on the calendar how many days are left before she goes to preschool. Tell her the big girls at preschool don't have Mommy and boobah they have BIG GIRL CUPS! You might want to go shopping and get her some new "big girl cups". The next stop is for books to read and some hot cocoa and popcorn. Use this for OUR big girl bedtime treat! Remember you have to slowly stop different boobah times! I had to get meds from the Doctor because mine hadn't dried up because I didn't cut down slow enough to dry up my milk. Hope this Helps-- Remember I Am The Mother - I can do this!!

Shayla - posted on 06/23/2010

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Okay hun you have tried the no sweetie and the being really nice maybe it's time to had her one of the easy transfer sippy cups put breast milk in the first 2 weeks and then switch it to milk try that and if that doesn't work then your just gonna have to be strong about it and tell her no in a stern but loving voice and make her understand that mommy is boss i know it will be hard but it will be for the best in the long run

Katerina - posted on 06/23/2010

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:( so tough when they give you the 'mummy why are you breaking my heart?' look!
Personally I only breastfed for a few weeks as mastitis kicked in severely and we had to switch to formula. Even though my son was only a couple of weeks old, he still refused the bottle and would nibble on my shirt looking for a nipple. The only way that helped me break clean from the boob was to find a bottle that most resembled one- I fount Tommee Tippee to be the best, the 150ml bottle really is boobie shaped to a tea. Then I took the bottle & my son, took off my top (bra on) and held him the same way but with the bottle in his mouth. He drank his milk this way till about 18 months (I only went shirtless for a few days though lol). I understand your daughter is older and harder to deceive but maybe what she craves is the closeness? Although it would be regressing to have her on a bottle, it might help her wean off the boob. After all the bottle habit is much easier to throw in the bin come pre-school... Good luck whatever you decide on!!

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